Sherman Skeptical And Rodney Rude
Drama
Thespian Theology
Lent/Easter
Thespian Theological Thoughts
This piece was conceived as "Ain't Gone' Study War No More." I had planned to do something deep and significant about swords-into-plowshares and peace-on-earth, and all like that. But what came out was a debate: Who is this "hot-shot" Jesus, and why can't he do something about the violence and strife in our world?
The answer, of course, is that Jesus will only do what he will do regarding the violence and strife in each individual heart. Jesus is not a politician or a social activist: He is King of kings and Lord of lords, and he invites each one of us to let him reign in our heart.
And that's what peace on earth is all about: When Jesus reigns in your heart, no one shall make you afraid.
Cast
Announcer
Sherman Skeptical
Rodney Rude
Micah
Peter (offstage)
Props/Costumes
Table
3 chairs
2 name cards: "Sherman" and "Rodney"
Sign: Sherman Skeptical and Rodney Rude / WONT Radio
(Table and 3 chairs are at center stage, along with sign: "Sherman Skeptical and Rodney Rude / WONT Radio." Announcer is at podium, stage left)
Announcer: Good morning, listeners. This is WONT Radio, the voice of "Worldly Opinion and News Today," comin' atchya with everybody's favorite morning drive-time radio: The Sherman Skeptical and Rodney Rude Show! And now, here are those irreverent and irrepressible impresarios of invective: Sherman Skeptical and Rodney Rude!
(Sherman enters stage right; Rodney enters stage left. They each take a seat at opposite ends of the table, with their name cards in front of them)
Sherman: Good morning, listeners ... and a good morning to you, Rodney.
Rodney: Put a sock in it, dirt-ball!
Sherman: Well, I see that you are your same irrepressible self, Rodney. Let's get right to it, okay? Our guest this morning is an interesting dude: the Hebrew prophet Micah.
(Micah enters stage left and sits between Sherman and Rodney)
Sherman: Born about 700 B.C. in the little farming town of Moresheth-Gath, Micah was a simple country boy --
Rodney: That's spelled "bumpkin."
Sherman: Don't pay any attention to Rodney, Micah. I never do! As I was saying, Micah was a country boy who did not have the social or political sophistication of other Hebrew prophets like Isaiah ... but he did have a heart for the poor and oppressed in his land --
Rodney: Oh, spare me! Another bleeding heart liberal!
Sherman: -- and he had a clear sense of a prophetic calling from God. Isn't that so, Micah?
Micah: But as for me, I am filled with power, with the spirit of the Lord, and with justice and might, to declare to Jacob his transgression and to Israel his sin.
Rodney: Oh, wonderful! A bleeding heart on a power trip. Just what I need, first thing in the morning! I suppose you're gonna lay some big ol' sin-and-transgression guilt trip on us, huh?
Micah: I believe you folks have a saying: "If the shoe fits, wear it."
Sherman: Micah, I'll accept the fact that we've all sinned and transgressed and all like that. But what I wanta talk about today is that goofy promise of yours about swords and plowshares and fig trees and such.
Micah: That's not my promise, Sherman; it's God's promise: "Many nations shall come and say, 'Come, let us go up to the mountain of the Lord, to the house of the God of Jacob; that he may teach us his ways and that we may walk in his paths.' For out of Zion shall go instruction, and the word of the Lord from Jerusalem. He shall judge between many peoples, and shall arbitrate between strong nations far away; they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruning hooks; nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more; but they shall all sit under their own vines and under their own fig trees, and no one shall make them afraid; for the mouth of the Lord of hosts has spoken."
Sherman: Uuuuh, right. But here's my problem, Micah: More than 2,700 years have come and gone since you made that prophecy, and I don't see anybody beatin' swords into plowshares or spears into pruning hooks.
Rodney: Yeah! And forget about sittin' around under a fig tree. Everybody's too busy plottin' and plannin' and messin' with each other, and blowin' each other up! What's up with that?
Micah: Why don't you tell me what's up with that, Rodney? The same sins I warned Israel about 2,700 years ago are still going on today: oppression of the powerless by the powerful; bribery and corruption everywhere; exploitation of the poor by the rich; cheating; violence ... and at the root of it all: pride!
Rodney: See? I told ya this dingbat was gonna lay a guilt trip on us! So I s'pose your God is really ticked off, huh?
Micah: "God does not retain his anger forever, because he delights in showing clemency." That's from the end of my book, by the way, chapter 7, verse 18.
Sherman: That's very nice, Micah, but we're not here to promote your book, bubba. Back to the question at hand: How's come there aren't any plowshares made out of swords, and nobody's sittin' under their fig trees?
Micah: My prophecy speaks of the time when God's justice will triumph; when the divine Deliverer will come.
Rodney: Stop speakin' in riddles and poetry, fer-Pete's-sake! What are you talkin' about?
Micah: I'm talking about the day when true peace will prevail: When Messiah reigns.
Sherman: You're talking about Jesus Christ?
Micah: Exactly.
Rodney: Here we go again! You and all those morons with their "John 3:16" signs in the end zone at football games ... You give me a sweet pain.
Micah: Why is that, Rodney?
Rodney: You buncha loony-tunes, wavin' your paws in the air and yellin' "Jeesuss! Jeesuss!" If your Jesus was such a hot-shot, why hasn't he put an end to all the fighting in Africa, and the Middle East, and Serbowhatever, and Ireland ... and everywhere on earth?
Micah: I can't answer that question, Rodney, but I can tell you this: Jesus is Messiah, the Son of God.
Announcer: Excuse me, we have a caller on the line: Simon Peter, on his celestial cellphone.
Sherman: Go ahead, Mr. Peter.
Peter: (Offstage) Yes. I'd like to weigh in on this issue of whether or not Jesus is a ... "hot-shot," I believe was the word you used?
Rodney: Yeah. What've you got to say, knucklehead?
Peter: "This Jesus is the stone that was rejected by you, the builders; it has become the cornerstone. There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among mortals by which we must be saved." Jesus is much more than a "hot-shot," Rodney: He is King of kings and Lord of lords.
Rodney: So you say, knucklehead!
Sherman: I must say I'm skeptical about all this, Mr. Peter. What makes you think that this Jesus of yours is the key to life?
Peter/Micah: (Together) Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life; no one comes to God except through him.
Sherman: So, if I come to Jesus, what's in it for me?
Peter: God will forgive all your sins.
Micah: God will teach you his ways: the ways of peace and hope and life eternal.
Sherman: Hmmm. I'm still skeptical -- but what do I have to do to get all this good stuff?
Peter: Jesus told us to proclaim repentance and the forgiveness of sins to all nations, Sherman. I just have to tell you that if you repent and confess, God is faithful and just to forgive you and clean you up.
Micah: And you will sit under your fig tree ... and no one will make you afraid.
Sherman: Really?
Peter/Micah: Uh-huh!
Sherman: But I thought that was only gonna happen when Messiah came to reign.
Peter/Micah: Does he reign in your heart, Sherman?
Sherman: Hmmmmm.
Rodney: Don't listen to that drivel, you numbskull!
Sherman: Gee, I don't know.
Peter: Sherman, listen to me: You've been tuned into WONT radio: "Worldly Opinion and News Today." Let me suggest that you start listening to WILL radio: "We Imitate and Love the Lord."
Rodney: Aw, fer-Pete's-sake, Sherm! That's a lot of hooey and you know it!
Sherman: No, I don't know it, Rodney. (Stands) Come on, Micah ... let's talk! For starters, where can I get myself a fig tree? (Exits with Micah stage right)
Announcer: Well, that's it, folks: Another interesting interval with the irreverent and irrepressible impresarios of invective: Sherman Skeptical -- or is he? -- and Rodney Rude.
(Rodney gives a big razzberry, and exits stage left. Micah and Sherman enter stage right)
Micah/Sherman: "For all the peoples walk, each in the name of its god, but we will walk in the name of the Lord our God forever and ever."
This piece was conceived as "Ain't Gone' Study War No More." I had planned to do something deep and significant about swords-into-plowshares and peace-on-earth, and all like that. But what came out was a debate: Who is this "hot-shot" Jesus, and why can't he do something about the violence and strife in our world?
The answer, of course, is that Jesus will only do what he will do regarding the violence and strife in each individual heart. Jesus is not a politician or a social activist: He is King of kings and Lord of lords, and he invites each one of us to let him reign in our heart.
And that's what peace on earth is all about: When Jesus reigns in your heart, no one shall make you afraid.
Cast
Announcer
Sherman Skeptical
Rodney Rude
Micah
Peter (offstage)
Props/Costumes
Table
3 chairs
2 name cards: "Sherman" and "Rodney"
Sign: Sherman Skeptical and Rodney Rude / WONT Radio
(Table and 3 chairs are at center stage, along with sign: "Sherman Skeptical and Rodney Rude / WONT Radio." Announcer is at podium, stage left)
Announcer: Good morning, listeners. This is WONT Radio, the voice of "Worldly Opinion and News Today," comin' atchya with everybody's favorite morning drive-time radio: The Sherman Skeptical and Rodney Rude Show! And now, here are those irreverent and irrepressible impresarios of invective: Sherman Skeptical and Rodney Rude!
(Sherman enters stage right; Rodney enters stage left. They each take a seat at opposite ends of the table, with their name cards in front of them)
Sherman: Good morning, listeners ... and a good morning to you, Rodney.
Rodney: Put a sock in it, dirt-ball!
Sherman: Well, I see that you are your same irrepressible self, Rodney. Let's get right to it, okay? Our guest this morning is an interesting dude: the Hebrew prophet Micah.
(Micah enters stage left and sits between Sherman and Rodney)
Sherman: Born about 700 B.C. in the little farming town of Moresheth-Gath, Micah was a simple country boy --
Rodney: That's spelled "bumpkin."
Sherman: Don't pay any attention to Rodney, Micah. I never do! As I was saying, Micah was a country boy who did not have the social or political sophistication of other Hebrew prophets like Isaiah ... but he did have a heart for the poor and oppressed in his land --
Rodney: Oh, spare me! Another bleeding heart liberal!
Sherman: -- and he had a clear sense of a prophetic calling from God. Isn't that so, Micah?
Micah: But as for me, I am filled with power, with the spirit of the Lord, and with justice and might, to declare to Jacob his transgression and to Israel his sin.
Rodney: Oh, wonderful! A bleeding heart on a power trip. Just what I need, first thing in the morning! I suppose you're gonna lay some big ol' sin-and-transgression guilt trip on us, huh?
Micah: I believe you folks have a saying: "If the shoe fits, wear it."
Sherman: Micah, I'll accept the fact that we've all sinned and transgressed and all like that. But what I wanta talk about today is that goofy promise of yours about swords and plowshares and fig trees and such.
Micah: That's not my promise, Sherman; it's God's promise: "Many nations shall come and say, 'Come, let us go up to the mountain of the Lord, to the house of the God of Jacob; that he may teach us his ways and that we may walk in his paths.' For out of Zion shall go instruction, and the word of the Lord from Jerusalem. He shall judge between many peoples, and shall arbitrate between strong nations far away; they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruning hooks; nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more; but they shall all sit under their own vines and under their own fig trees, and no one shall make them afraid; for the mouth of the Lord of hosts has spoken."
Sherman: Uuuuh, right. But here's my problem, Micah: More than 2,700 years have come and gone since you made that prophecy, and I don't see anybody beatin' swords into plowshares or spears into pruning hooks.
Rodney: Yeah! And forget about sittin' around under a fig tree. Everybody's too busy plottin' and plannin' and messin' with each other, and blowin' each other up! What's up with that?
Micah: Why don't you tell me what's up with that, Rodney? The same sins I warned Israel about 2,700 years ago are still going on today: oppression of the powerless by the powerful; bribery and corruption everywhere; exploitation of the poor by the rich; cheating; violence ... and at the root of it all: pride!
Rodney: See? I told ya this dingbat was gonna lay a guilt trip on us! So I s'pose your God is really ticked off, huh?
Micah: "God does not retain his anger forever, because he delights in showing clemency." That's from the end of my book, by the way, chapter 7, verse 18.
Sherman: That's very nice, Micah, but we're not here to promote your book, bubba. Back to the question at hand: How's come there aren't any plowshares made out of swords, and nobody's sittin' under their fig trees?
Micah: My prophecy speaks of the time when God's justice will triumph; when the divine Deliverer will come.
Rodney: Stop speakin' in riddles and poetry, fer-Pete's-sake! What are you talkin' about?
Micah: I'm talking about the day when true peace will prevail: When Messiah reigns.
Sherman: You're talking about Jesus Christ?
Micah: Exactly.
Rodney: Here we go again! You and all those morons with their "John 3:16" signs in the end zone at football games ... You give me a sweet pain.
Micah: Why is that, Rodney?
Rodney: You buncha loony-tunes, wavin' your paws in the air and yellin' "Jeesuss! Jeesuss!" If your Jesus was such a hot-shot, why hasn't he put an end to all the fighting in Africa, and the Middle East, and Serbowhatever, and Ireland ... and everywhere on earth?
Micah: I can't answer that question, Rodney, but I can tell you this: Jesus is Messiah, the Son of God.
Announcer: Excuse me, we have a caller on the line: Simon Peter, on his celestial cellphone.
Sherman: Go ahead, Mr. Peter.
Peter: (Offstage) Yes. I'd like to weigh in on this issue of whether or not Jesus is a ... "hot-shot," I believe was the word you used?
Rodney: Yeah. What've you got to say, knucklehead?
Peter: "This Jesus is the stone that was rejected by you, the builders; it has become the cornerstone. There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among mortals by which we must be saved." Jesus is much more than a "hot-shot," Rodney: He is King of kings and Lord of lords.
Rodney: So you say, knucklehead!
Sherman: I must say I'm skeptical about all this, Mr. Peter. What makes you think that this Jesus of yours is the key to life?
Peter/Micah: (Together) Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life; no one comes to God except through him.
Sherman: So, if I come to Jesus, what's in it for me?
Peter: God will forgive all your sins.
Micah: God will teach you his ways: the ways of peace and hope and life eternal.
Sherman: Hmmm. I'm still skeptical -- but what do I have to do to get all this good stuff?
Peter: Jesus told us to proclaim repentance and the forgiveness of sins to all nations, Sherman. I just have to tell you that if you repent and confess, God is faithful and just to forgive you and clean you up.
Micah: And you will sit under your fig tree ... and no one will make you afraid.
Sherman: Really?
Peter/Micah: Uh-huh!
Sherman: But I thought that was only gonna happen when Messiah came to reign.
Peter/Micah: Does he reign in your heart, Sherman?
Sherman: Hmmmmm.
Rodney: Don't listen to that drivel, you numbskull!
Sherman: Gee, I don't know.
Peter: Sherman, listen to me: You've been tuned into WONT radio: "Worldly Opinion and News Today." Let me suggest that you start listening to WILL radio: "We Imitate and Love the Lord."
Rodney: Aw, fer-Pete's-sake, Sherm! That's a lot of hooey and you know it!
Sherman: No, I don't know it, Rodney. (Stands) Come on, Micah ... let's talk! For starters, where can I get myself a fig tree? (Exits with Micah stage right)
Announcer: Well, that's it, folks: Another interesting interval with the irreverent and irrepressible impresarios of invective: Sherman Skeptical -- or is he? -- and Rodney Rude.
(Rodney gives a big razzberry, and exits stage left. Micah and Sherman enter stage right)
Micah/Sherman: "For all the peoples walk, each in the name of its god, but we will walk in the name of the Lord our God forever and ever."

