Percival Prodigal Ponders A Pithy Point
Drama
ThespianTheology
Lent/Easter
For several years, my wife and I have been involved in a prison ministry at our local county house of correction. In that time, we have watched countless men and women enjoy their own Prodigal Son/Daughter experience in jail, only to return to sex/drugs/rock 'n' roll (or whatever) when they are released.
"If anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation: everything old has passed away; see, everything has become new!" Prodigal sons/daughters -- and I certainly include myself in this company -- need to understand this biblical truth, take it into our hearts, and believe it.
And then -- start living our lives as proof that "there is a new creation."aOnly then can we truly become ambassadors for Christ in our world.
Cast
Narrator
Percival Prodigal
Dr. B. L. Zebub
Salome
Father
Saint Paul
Props/Costumes
Chair
Percival -- rake, hoe, handkerchief
B. L. Zebub -- business card, concert tickets
Father -- robe, ring
(Narrator is at podium, stage left. Percival enters stage right, carrying rake and hoe)
Narrator: Behold the Prodigal Son ... my man Percival.
(Percival sits down center stage, takes out a handkerchief, and mops his brow)
Narrator: It's several weeks after his big welcome-home celebration, and Percival is back working his father's farm.
Percival: Man, I'm pooped! It's hot as an oven out there in the field, and this is backbreaking work! I'm not cut out to be a farmer, that's all there is to it ... This life is miserable!
(B. L. Zebub enters stage left)
Percival: It's just hopeless.
B. L. Zebub: (To audience) Ah, he just said the magic words! (To Percival) Good afternoon, my young friend. Lovely weather we're having, eh?
Percival: Are you nuts? It's hot out there!
B. L. Zebub: To each his own ... I rather enjoy it, myself.
Percival: Well, who are you -- and what are you doin' here?
B. L. Zebub: (Gives Percival a business card) B. L. Zebub, Ph.D., at your service.
Percival: (Reading business card) Says here you're a "Guru of Good Times, and a Facilitator of Fun." What's that mean?
B. L. Zebub: Just what it says, Percival: If you're looking for a good time, I'm the man! For instance, did you know that Darryl and the Dumpster-Divers have a concert at the Civic Center tonight?
Percival: Wow, Darryl and the Dumpster-Divers! They're my favorite heavy metal group ... But I bet they're sold out.
B. L. Zebub: Indeed they are, my young friend ... But (Pulls out two tickets) I just happen to have some special celebrity access tickets here, for you and your date ...
Percival: Date? Where would I find a date in this godforsaken place?
B. L. Zebub: No problemo! (Snaps his fingers) Salome! (Salome enters stage left) Percival Prodigal, meet Salome -- your date for this evening's festivities.
Salome: Hello there, big boy! (Puts her arm around Percival) We're gonna have some fun tonight!
Percival: Um ... sure thing, honey! Just let me get cleaned up, and I'll be right with you. (Exits stage right) Thanks, Dr. Zebub! You're a lifesaver!
B. L. Zebub: You might say that ... (High-fives Salome and they exit stage left)
Narrator: And you might say just the opposite! ... Well, our hero went to the Darryl and the Dumpster-Divers concert with his (Makes quotation marks with fingers) "date" -- and they did indeed let the good times roll ... Several weeks -- and many grams of nose candy --alater ... (Percival enters stage right) Percival once again came to his senses and returned home ...
(Father enters stage left. Percival comes to him. They pantomime their forgiveness scene)
Narrator: ... And his father forgave him and dressed him in another clean robe, and gave him another pinky ring.
(Father puts robe and ring on Percival and exits stage left. Percival moves downstage right)
Narrator: So, Percival ... You were dead and you came back to life -- again.
Percival: (Dejectedly) Yeah ... But I don't deserve all this. I'm just a good-for-nothing dope-head, and --
(B. L. Zebub enters stage left)
B. L. Zebub: Hey, ya gotta be what you are, bubba! You said it yourself, Percy: You're not cut out to be a farmer. (Picks up the hoe) Do you want to spend the rest of your life chopping away in the dust with a hoe? Or would you rather take a good-lookin' babe (Salome enters stage left and strikes a seductive pose) to the Slimy Sam and the Sleaze Balls concert tonight?
Percival: Oh, maaaan! (Looks at the hoe, and then at Salome) Slimy Sam and the Sleaze Balls? You got tickets for that, too?
B. L. Zebub: You betchum, Red Rider! Come on, Percy: Don't fight it ... relax and enjoy it! You're a good-times guy, and you always will be! There's no changing what you are, bro'!
(Saint Paul enters, running down the center aisle. He comes to center stage, to stage right of Percival; B. L. Zebub is to stage left of Percival)
Saint Paul: Wrong! If anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation --
B. L. Zebub: Oh, good grief! It's that pious pain-in-the-patoot Paul ... Get outa here, you turkey!
Percival: Wait a minute. Who are you?
Saint Paul: I am Paul, an apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ. And I am here to tell you that everything your so-called "friend" Dr. Zebub is telling you is a lie! If you are in Christ, you are a new creation, Percival. All the old stuff has passed away, and everything has become new.
B. L. Zebub: Don't listen to him, Percy! Come on; let the good times roll!
Saint Paul: Were those really "good times," Percival? Waking up every morning with a monster hangover? Scrounging in dumpsters for food? Spending your weekends in police lock-ups? Is that what you call "good times"?
Percival: Well, no ... But --
Saint Paul: But what?
Percival: But that's what I am, Paul. I'm an addict.
B. L. Zebub: You're a good-times guy, Percy -- that's what you are! And times are gonna get better for you, 'cuz you're a good-times guy, and you'll always be a good-times guy.
Saint Paul: Wrong! You don't have to be tied to that past, Percival. You are a new creation in Christ.
Percival: I am? What does that mean?
Saint Paul: Remember when you left home the first time, Percival? You ran out of money, and you ended up feeding the pigs --
Percival: Ooog! Yeah, I remember that.
Saint Paul: Well, remember you came to your senses and decided to return to your father, acknowledge your sin, and ask for his forgiveness?
Percival: Uh-huh ...
Saint Paul: And your father forgave you, right?
Percival: Right!
Saint Paul: And so your heavenly Father will forgive you, if you acknowledge your sin and ask for his forgiveness.
Percival: My heavenly Father ... you mean God?
Saint Paul: Yes, God ... And when you accept God's forgiveness, he changes you from the inside. You become a new creation, Percival. The old has passed away, and everything has become new. Believe me, I know whereof I speak. Before Jesus saved me, I was a blasphemer and a murderer.
Percival: So that means I'm not a junkie any more?
Saint Paul: Exactly! "Once a junkie, always a junkie" is one of B. L. Zebub's nastiest lines. But you have to believe God's truth about yourself, Percival!
B. L. Zebub: I'm tired of listening to this claptrap -- and you should be, too, Percy! Look ... the choice is clear. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with this (Waves the hoe), or with somethin' nice like that? (Points to Salome)
Percival: No contest, B. L.! I'm sick and tired of bein' sick and tired. I'm goin' with my man Paul.
Saint Paul: We're going with Jesus! (Exits with Percival stage right)
B. L. Zebub: Curses! Foiled again! (To Salome) C'mon, babe: Let's see if we can work on that self-righteous older brother.... (They exit stage left)
"If anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation: everything old has passed away; see, everything has become new!" Prodigal sons/daughters -- and I certainly include myself in this company -- need to understand this biblical truth, take it into our hearts, and believe it.
And then -- start living our lives as proof that "there is a new creation."aOnly then can we truly become ambassadors for Christ in our world.
Cast
Narrator
Percival Prodigal
Dr. B. L. Zebub
Salome
Father
Saint Paul
Props/Costumes
Chair
Percival -- rake, hoe, handkerchief
B. L. Zebub -- business card, concert tickets
Father -- robe, ring
(Narrator is at podium, stage left. Percival enters stage right, carrying rake and hoe)
Narrator: Behold the Prodigal Son ... my man Percival.
(Percival sits down center stage, takes out a handkerchief, and mops his brow)
Narrator: It's several weeks after his big welcome-home celebration, and Percival is back working his father's farm.
Percival: Man, I'm pooped! It's hot as an oven out there in the field, and this is backbreaking work! I'm not cut out to be a farmer, that's all there is to it ... This life is miserable!
(B. L. Zebub enters stage left)
Percival: It's just hopeless.
B. L. Zebub: (To audience) Ah, he just said the magic words! (To Percival) Good afternoon, my young friend. Lovely weather we're having, eh?
Percival: Are you nuts? It's hot out there!
B. L. Zebub: To each his own ... I rather enjoy it, myself.
Percival: Well, who are you -- and what are you doin' here?
B. L. Zebub: (Gives Percival a business card) B. L. Zebub, Ph.D., at your service.
Percival: (Reading business card) Says here you're a "Guru of Good Times, and a Facilitator of Fun." What's that mean?
B. L. Zebub: Just what it says, Percival: If you're looking for a good time, I'm the man! For instance, did you know that Darryl and the Dumpster-Divers have a concert at the Civic Center tonight?
Percival: Wow, Darryl and the Dumpster-Divers! They're my favorite heavy metal group ... But I bet they're sold out.
B. L. Zebub: Indeed they are, my young friend ... But (Pulls out two tickets) I just happen to have some special celebrity access tickets here, for you and your date ...
Percival: Date? Where would I find a date in this godforsaken place?
B. L. Zebub: No problemo! (Snaps his fingers) Salome! (Salome enters stage left) Percival Prodigal, meet Salome -- your date for this evening's festivities.
Salome: Hello there, big boy! (Puts her arm around Percival) We're gonna have some fun tonight!
Percival: Um ... sure thing, honey! Just let me get cleaned up, and I'll be right with you. (Exits stage right) Thanks, Dr. Zebub! You're a lifesaver!
B. L. Zebub: You might say that ... (High-fives Salome and they exit stage left)
Narrator: And you might say just the opposite! ... Well, our hero went to the Darryl and the Dumpster-Divers concert with his (Makes quotation marks with fingers) "date" -- and they did indeed let the good times roll ... Several weeks -- and many grams of nose candy --alater ... (Percival enters stage right) Percival once again came to his senses and returned home ...
(Father enters stage left. Percival comes to him. They pantomime their forgiveness scene)
Narrator: ... And his father forgave him and dressed him in another clean robe, and gave him another pinky ring.
(Father puts robe and ring on Percival and exits stage left. Percival moves downstage right)
Narrator: So, Percival ... You were dead and you came back to life -- again.
Percival: (Dejectedly) Yeah ... But I don't deserve all this. I'm just a good-for-nothing dope-head, and --
(B. L. Zebub enters stage left)
B. L. Zebub: Hey, ya gotta be what you are, bubba! You said it yourself, Percy: You're not cut out to be a farmer. (Picks up the hoe) Do you want to spend the rest of your life chopping away in the dust with a hoe? Or would you rather take a good-lookin' babe (Salome enters stage left and strikes a seductive pose) to the Slimy Sam and the Sleaze Balls concert tonight?
Percival: Oh, maaaan! (Looks at the hoe, and then at Salome) Slimy Sam and the Sleaze Balls? You got tickets for that, too?
B. L. Zebub: You betchum, Red Rider! Come on, Percy: Don't fight it ... relax and enjoy it! You're a good-times guy, and you always will be! There's no changing what you are, bro'!
(Saint Paul enters, running down the center aisle. He comes to center stage, to stage right of Percival; B. L. Zebub is to stage left of Percival)
Saint Paul: Wrong! If anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation --
B. L. Zebub: Oh, good grief! It's that pious pain-in-the-patoot Paul ... Get outa here, you turkey!
Percival: Wait a minute. Who are you?
Saint Paul: I am Paul, an apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ. And I am here to tell you that everything your so-called "friend" Dr. Zebub is telling you is a lie! If you are in Christ, you are a new creation, Percival. All the old stuff has passed away, and everything has become new.
B. L. Zebub: Don't listen to him, Percy! Come on; let the good times roll!
Saint Paul: Were those really "good times," Percival? Waking up every morning with a monster hangover? Scrounging in dumpsters for food? Spending your weekends in police lock-ups? Is that what you call "good times"?
Percival: Well, no ... But --
Saint Paul: But what?
Percival: But that's what I am, Paul. I'm an addict.
B. L. Zebub: You're a good-times guy, Percy -- that's what you are! And times are gonna get better for you, 'cuz you're a good-times guy, and you'll always be a good-times guy.
Saint Paul: Wrong! You don't have to be tied to that past, Percival. You are a new creation in Christ.
Percival: I am? What does that mean?
Saint Paul: Remember when you left home the first time, Percival? You ran out of money, and you ended up feeding the pigs --
Percival: Ooog! Yeah, I remember that.
Saint Paul: Well, remember you came to your senses and decided to return to your father, acknowledge your sin, and ask for his forgiveness?
Percival: Uh-huh ...
Saint Paul: And your father forgave you, right?
Percival: Right!
Saint Paul: And so your heavenly Father will forgive you, if you acknowledge your sin and ask for his forgiveness.
Percival: My heavenly Father ... you mean God?
Saint Paul: Yes, God ... And when you accept God's forgiveness, he changes you from the inside. You become a new creation, Percival. The old has passed away, and everything has become new. Believe me, I know whereof I speak. Before Jesus saved me, I was a blasphemer and a murderer.
Percival: So that means I'm not a junkie any more?
Saint Paul: Exactly! "Once a junkie, always a junkie" is one of B. L. Zebub's nastiest lines. But you have to believe God's truth about yourself, Percival!
B. L. Zebub: I'm tired of listening to this claptrap -- and you should be, too, Percy! Look ... the choice is clear. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with this (Waves the hoe), or with somethin' nice like that? (Points to Salome)
Percival: No contest, B. L.! I'm sick and tired of bein' sick and tired. I'm goin' with my man Paul.
Saint Paul: We're going with Jesus! (Exits with Percival stage right)
B. L. Zebub: Curses! Foiled again! (To Salome) C'mon, babe: Let's see if we can work on that self-righteous older brother.... (They exit stage left)

