Are Ye Able?
Stories
Object:
Contents
A Story to Live By: "Are Ye Able?"
Sharing Visions: "An Honor Not Taken Lightly" by Bruce Stunkard
Good Stories: "Three Red Marbles"
Scrap Pile: "A Transforming Experience" by John Sumwalt
An Invitation to Send Stories
A Story to Live By
Are Ye Able?
But Jesus said to them, "You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I drink, or be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with?"
Mark 10:38
There are many touching stories that have come out of our Civil War days, of temporary peace and civility in the midst of violence. One such story occurred in the winter of 1863. Winter had just settled over Virginia, and both sides had slowed their fighting considerably. In the Confederate camps there ministered a devout chaplain by the name of Willie Ragland. Reverend Ragland preached the Gospel quite fervently, and a soldier named Goodwin was converted. Goodwin seized upon the idea of being baptized in the nearby Rapidan River, which was the dividing line between the Confederate and Union troops in that area. Confederate officers tried to discourage the idea, knowing that any man who approached the river was sure to be picked off by Union snipers. But Goodwin was determined to be baptized into his newfound faith, so the officers finally agreed.
Reverend Ragland, Goodwin, and about fifty Confederate soldiers left their weapons behind and made their way cautiously down to the river. Union soldiers, perplexed by these unarmed men wading out into icy waters, held their fire. Then, the Confederate soldiers began to sing: "There is a fountain filled with blood, Drawn from Emmanuel's veins; And sinners plunged beneath that flood, Lose all their guilty stains." Some of the Union's soldiers, moved by the sight, left their weapons too, and, lining up along the opposite side of the riverbank, joined their voices in singing: "And since, by faith, I saw the stream, Thy flowing wounds supply, Redeeming love has been my theme, And shall be 'til I die."
(John H. Leeper & Barbara Moseley, "Revival in the Camp," The Old South Farmer's Almanac, 1998, pp. 115-116)
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Sharing Visions
An Honor Not Taken Lightly
by Bruce Stunkard
Every high priest chosen from among mortals is put in charge of things pertaining to God on their behalf, to offer gifts and sacrifices for sins. He is able to deal gently with the ignorant and wayward, since he himself is subject to weakness; and because of this he must offer sacrifice for his own sins as well as for those of the people. And one does not presume to take this honor, but takes it only when called by God, just as Aaron was.
Hebrews 5:1-4
One winter evening, while working in a group home for people with mental disabilities, I took a resident to Saturday evening Mass. Her name was Susie. She was a 36-year-old woman with Down's Syndrome. Susie seemed to have two primary interests: eating and hugging. Though eating gave her great pleasure, her food required special preparation, as Susie was missing all of her teeth due to years of dental neglect at a state institution. She also loved to sit down close to a person and hold them for as long as they were willing.
Our activity that evening was church. Neither Susie nor I were Catholic, but St. Alphonsus Church was close, and the early evening service was convenient.
Throughout the Liturgy of the Word, Susie sat close to me, patting my hand as though she were reassuring me that everything would be all right. She passed the time by taking off and putting on her socks and shoes during the Liturgy of the Eucharist. While reciting the Lord's Prayer, she sounded like she was speaking in tongues. We were all invited to pass the peace, however many passed over Susie. As we began to sing, "Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world," Susie jumped to her feet and we proceeded to the table as the choir sang a Marty Haugen hymn:
Now in this banquet, Christ is our bread; Here shall all hungers be fed.
Bread that is broken, wine that is poured, Love is the sign of our Lord.
(from "Now In This Banquet" by Marty Haugen, GIA Publications, 1986)
We arrived at the Banquet table to receive the bread. The priest hesitated slightly when he saw her. He looked at me. I then showed Susie how to cup her hands to receive the Host, and she followed my lead. Taking her action as a sign to proceed, the priest pressed the round white Body of Christ into her palm. Susie looked at it with interest, picked it up with her small right thumb and index finger, and twirled it skillfully, like a magician performing a coin trick. She then handed it back to the priest. From the startled look on his face, I could tell that that had never happened before. His eyes were strained and he again looked to me for help. To relieve the awkwardness, I received Christ's body from her and we recessed back to our place.
Once seated in our pew, thinking the wafer may have been too large for her to chew, I began to break it and spoke the words, "Take and eat, this is my body, broken for you." Then something happened: something that I cannot explain. As I handed her the pieces to eat, the words I had just spoken seemed to reverberate deep within me and began to slowly ascend, until I heard them not in my own voice, but in Susie's. I felt that I was in the presence of Christ, and that I had just fed him. Trembling with awe-filled joy, like Mother Mary I continue to ponder this experience in my heart.
Bruce Stunkard is pastor of Cumberland and McKinley United Methodist Churches in northwestern Wisconsin. He is a teacher of Enneagram and enjoys woodworking, kayaking, searching for stones, and Lake Superior. Write to him at 1120 11th Avenue, PO Box 775, Cumberland, WI 54829. Bruce's story appears in Vision Stories: True Accounts of Visions, Angels, and Healing Miracles, edited by John E. Sumwalt (Lima, Ohio: CSS Publishing Company, 2002). Vision Stories is available from CSS through its website (http://www.csspub.com) or by calling 1-800-241-4056. Vision Stories is also available at many local Christian bookstores.
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Good Stories
Three Red Marbles
"... whoever wishes to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you must be a slave to all. For the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many."
Mark 10: 43b-45
During the waning years of the depression in a small southeastern Idaho community, I used to stop by Mr. Miller's roadside stand for farm-fresh produce as the season made it available. Food and money were still extremely scarce, and bartering was used extensively.
One particular day Mr. Miller was bagging some early potatoes for me. I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean, hungrily appraising a basket of freshly picked green peas. I paid for my potatoes, but was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas. I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes. Pondering the peas, I couldn't help overhearing the conversation between Mr. Miller and the ragged boy next to me.
"Hello, Barry. How are you today?"
"H'lo, Mr. Miller. Fine, thank ya. Jus' admirin' them peas ... sure look good."
"They are good, Barry. How's your ma?"
"Fine. Gittin' stronger alla' time."
"Good. Anything I can help you with?"
"No sir. Jus' admirin' them peas."
"Would you like to take some home?"
"No sir. Got nuthin' to pay for 'em with."
"Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?"
"All I got's my prize marble here."
"Is that right? Let me see it."
"Here 'tis. She's a dandy."
"I can see that. Hmmmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home?"
"Not 'zackley ... but, almost."
"Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you, and next trip this way let me look at that red marble."
"Sure will. Thanks, Mr. Miller."
Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over to help me. With a smile, she said: "There are two other boys like him in our community; all three are in very poor circumstances. Jim just loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes, or whatever. When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he doesn't like red after all, and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a green marble or an orange one, perhaps."
I left the stand, smiling to myself, impressed with this man. A short time later I moved to Colorado but I never forgot the story of this man, the boys, and their bartering. Several years went by, each more rapid than the previous one. Just recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho community, and while I was there learned that Mr. Miller had died.
They were having his viewing that evening, and knowing my friends wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them. Upon our arrival at the mortuary we fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased and to offer whatever words of comfort we could. Ahead of us in line were three young men. One was in an army uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white shirts ... very professional-looking. They approached Mrs. Miller, standing smiling and composed by her husband's casket. Each of the young men hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her, and moved on to the casket. Her misty light blue eyes followed them as, one by one, each young man stopped briefly and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand in the casket. Each left the mortuary, awkwardly, wiping his eyes.
Our turn came to meet Mrs. Miller. I told her who I was and mentioned the story she had told me about the marbles. Eyes glistening, she took my hand and led me to the casket.
"Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you about. They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim 'traded' them. Now, at last, when Jim could not change his mind about color or size ... they came to pay their debt. We've never had a great deal of the wealth of this world," she confided, "but right now Jim would consider himself the richest man in Idaho."
With loving gentleness she lifted the lifeless fingers of her deceased husband. Resting underneath were three exquisitely shined red marbles.
(This story by W.E. Petersen appeared in the October 1975 issue of Ensign magazine.)
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Scrap Pile
A Transforming Experience
by John Sumwalt
In the days of his flesh, Jesus offered up prayers and supplications, with loud cries and tears, to the one who was able to save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission.
Hebrews 5:7
I was part of a remarkable, life-changing, perhaps world-shaking event that occurred at a hearing at our state capital in Madison, Wisconsin on September 18. Seventy-five of us, who are survivors of clergy sexual abuse, told our stories to several very attentive state legislators.
Grace Duckert, 81, of Wauwatosa, said haltingly that she was sexually abused by a nun in Rubicon when she was 6 years old. She had blocked it out until 1991, when she saw seminarians on Oprah Winfrey's television show talking about being sexually abused. That day sent her into a depression she's still battling, she said. "There must be a window of opportunity, a good one, for people such as I to express themselves and let themselves be known," Duckert said. "These ... crimes against our children have just got to stop." ("Committees consider bill forcing churches to report abuse," by Todd Richmond, Associated Press, September 19, 2003, http://www.gazettextra.com/churchabuse091903.asp)
It turns out that Grace lives two blocks up the street from our home in Wauwatosa, although we had not met until that day. Her story in some ways parallels my own. She was sworn to secrecy by a family member. I was asked to keep the secret by the bishop of my church, the church in which I was already a declared ministerial candidate. I carried the secret until I was 43 years old, and, like Grace, endured several years of post-traumatic stress and depression. With the help of a loving family and a caring therapist I have become whole again and able to speak of what happened when I think it will be helpful to others. I have forgiven the man who assaulted me and the bishop who protected him.
Brenda Varga, 41, of Plover, told the committees she wanted justice against a priest who abused her when she was 9, but the statute of limitations has run out. Varga said the priest would take her to road waysides and kiss her with a mouth that smelled like cigars. She didn't seek counseling until she turned 35, after she realized she didn't trust anyone with her children. "They always ask me why I cry, why I'm so sad," Varga said, nearly sobbing. "I said, 'Someday when you're old enough, I'll tell you about the bad people in church.' " (Associated Press)
Telling these stories was a transforming experience for all involved, including the legislators. I watched their faces throughout the nine hours of testimony. They were deeply affected. They had read about this and they had talked to a few of us before, but as they listened to 75 of us, one after the other, they were changed. I don't know how they will vote on the legislation that is before them, but I do know that something holy happened in that room. By the grace of God, some good may come of this. Lives may be saved. Fewer children and youth will suffer in the future because of what happened at that hearing. The next day an editorial appeared in the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel. To view it, click on: http://www.jsonline.com/news/editorials/sep03/171418.asp
Below is a copy of a letter I sent to the Journal-Sentinel in response to their editorial.
To: The Editorial Staff of the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel
From: Pastor John Sumwalt
The members of the joint Senate and Assembly Judiciary Committee gave victims of clergy sexual abuse something that most of us had not received until last Thursday, a respectful hearing from persons in authority. Representative Mark Gundrum and several other members listened for nearly nine hours as 75 of us simply told what happened when we were assaulted by trusted pastors, how both Catholic and Protestant church officials acted to silence, blame, and shame us for speaking about a crime that, in any other context, would have been reported immediately as a criminal assault. I pray that the committee will adopt the amendment being prepared by Representative David Cullen that will allow a one-year window for victims to seek justice for past crimes. But however these lawmakers decide to act on this legislation, I for one will always be grateful for what they did that day. They listened! They responded with kindness and caring. It was healing. It was redemptive. Catholic and Protestant church officials would do well to offer similar public hearings all around the state. Trust will not be restored in our churches until every wounded soul has been heard!
This is some of the testimony I gave on September 18.
There are no words to describe the anguish suffered by those of us who have been wounded by the sexual abuse of a clergyperson or teacher in the church. It is absolutely devastating for children, as it is also for youth and adults. To be sexually used (assaulted) by one's spiritual leader, the one who represents God in one's life, the one who speaks for God from the pulpit or teaches the word of God in the classroom, is to have one's soul raped as well as one's body. It is a deep betrayal of all that is sacred and holy.
Many of us in this community of wounded souls cannot bear to go into a church, cannot bear to hear the organ play or to look on the face of ministers or priests. Like veterans of war whose nerve endings scream at the sound of any loud noise that resembles a gunshot, those who have been sexually abused by church shepherds can be unnerved by ordinary symbols of faith. Crosses, communion elements, clerical collars, vestments, prayers, hymns, the passing of the peace, any discussion of God or Christ have been tainted by perpetrators who used the sacred to seduce and manipulate for their own purposes. Those of us who have been able to remain in the church do so by the grace of God and despite the unwillingness of most Wisconsin churches to hold those who assaulted us publicly accountable.
Our numbers both in and outside the church are legion. Some of your neighbors and friends who you see every week may be suffering in silence. Victims of clergy sexual abuse are frequently shamed and shunned if they insist on telling what happened to them, as if they were to blame for bringing shame on the church. The silencing is a form of re-victimization.
Almost always those who perpetuate this conspiracy of silence are well-meaning and believe themselves to be fully supportive of the victims of sexual crimes. Usually they justify their refusal to name names with solemn expressions of concern about legal liability and long lists of perfectly reasonable ethical considerations. To those of us who have been injured by sexual abuse, this translates into an unwillingness to take any significant risks to care for our wounds or to take actions that will prevent perpetrators from wounding others.
Many of us had been given hope by the legislation proposed by Representative Peggy Krusick and Senator Alberta Darling. Now we are told there will be no "one-year window during which victims could file suit." As the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel editorial ("One Compromise Too Far," May 8, 2003, http://www.jsonline.com/news/editorials/may03/139376.asp) stated so well, "... victims of clergy abuse have been told all of their lives that they have to compromise. The time for compromise is over." We must have legislation that will protect the community from the perpetrators who have not yet been held accountable.
I call on the bishops and other leaders of Wisconsin churches to turn over the names and case files of every perpetrator of sexual abuse to the appropriate civil authorities.
I call on the clergy and lay leaders of every church to put their arms around all of those who have been wounded by clergy sexual abuse (adults as well as children) and allow them to tell their stories until they don't need to tell them anymore.
Most survivors will tell you that it is not about money. It is about being able to tell what happened -- and holding the criminal and those who protected him/her accountable so no one else gets hurt.
The proposed Senate bill SB 207 and Assembly bill AB 428 makes important improvements such as making clergy mandatory reporters, but it does not fully address sexual abuse by clergy and vowed religious.
As the proposal stands, perpetrators continue to have access to children in our community. Without revisions to the bill perpetrators remain unidentified, hidden, and protected. Children will continue to be exposed to clergy perpetrators who have already committed heinous crimes by sexually abusing and raping children.
If the pending legislation is not revised, there is no basis for holding the clergy child molesters or the church accountable for crimes that have already taken place.
As proposed, the bill only deals with perpetrators whose crimes are committed after the bill is passed. This is not enough to protect children. This is not enough to respond with justice to those who are suffering the effects of sexual crimes.
I urge you support the move to table AB 428/SB 207 until revisions are made that support both current and future victims. Children will not be protected until past offenses are addressed by legislation. The needs of victims will not be addressed until revisions are made. The identity of perpetrators must be made public.
Wisconsin churches must be held accountable as churches are in other states. Wisconsin is one the most dangerous states in the country for children because of state laws that protect clergy sex offenders from exposure and accountability.
Many Wisconsin churches have not taken effective steps to protect children or to give justice to victims, and will not take effective steps on their own without legislation that compels such action.
We simply must remove the obstacles that prevent victims of sexual violence from exposing abusers and removing them from positions of authority and access to children.
John E. Sumwalt
Pastor, Wauwatosa Avenue United Methodist Church
1529 Wauwatosa Avenue
Wauwatosa, Wisconsin 53213
Phone 414-257-1228
Sue Jamison, a StoryShare subscriber and a United Methodist pastor in the Central Pennsylvania Conference, sent the following letter in response to a story on clergy misconduct which appeared in June.
Hi John,
Just spent three days last week with the entire Cabinet and Intervention Team for Central Pennsylvania and potential new members of the team to do training. Another great place for information aside from FaithTrust Institute (Marie Fortune's place) is ISTI, the Interfaith Sexual Trauma Institute in Collegeville, Minnesota. Their website is http://www.csbsju.edu/isti/, and they also publish a lot of stuff and offer classes through distance learning.
As to a working bibliography, I've attached my current list. They are in no particular order and some have been around awhile, but I've read them all and found them to be very helpful. If you want the comprehensive list from the Colorado Training, send me your snail mail address and I'll be glad to send you a copy.
There are some really good videos available, notably Ask Before You Hug by COSROW and Not in My Church from FTI. I've used them both in prevention education seminars.
Sue Jamison
If you would like to receive Sue's bibliography or if you have information about clergy sexual abuse to share, write to us at jsumwalt@naspa.net.
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An Invitation to Send Stories
We are collecting personal stories for a third volume in the vision series, to be released in 2004. The new working title is Shining Moments: Visions of the Holy in Ordinary Lives. If you have any stories to share of your personal experience of the holy, please send them to jsumwalt@naspa.net.
New Book Released
We are happy to report that the second volume in the vision series, Sharing Visions: Divine Revelations, Angels, and Holy Coincidences, is now available from CSS Publishing Company. For more information about the book click here or visit the CSS website at http://www.csspub.com.
Special Pricing for StoryShare Subscribers
Sharing Visions retails for $19.95. CSS has graciously agreed to make the book available to StoryShare subscribers for just $11.97 (plus shipping & handling). To take advantage of this special pricing, you must use the special code SS40SV. Simply e-mail your order to orders@csspub.com or phone 1-800-241-4056. If you live outside the U.S., phone 419-227-1818.
Praise for Sharing Visions
Bishop Richard Wilke, creator of the Disciple Bible Study series, writes: "I am rejoicing as I read the testimonies in Sharing Visions. What an inspiration! I recall my father, an unemotional man, telling me that his mother (who had died some years before) appeared to him in a dream and gave him counsel on a difficult decision he was wrestling with."
StoryShare, October 19, 2003, issue.
Copyright 2003 by CSS Publishing Company, Inc., Lima, Ohio.
All rights reserved. Subscribers to the StoryShare service may print and use this material as it was intended in sermons, in worship and classroom settings, in brief devotions, in radio spots, and as newsletter fillers. No additional permission is required from the publisher for such use by subscribers only. Inquiries should be addressed to permissions@csspub.com or to Permissions, CSS Publishing Company, Inc., P.O. Box 4503, Lima, Ohio 45802-4503.
A Story to Live By: "Are Ye Able?"
Sharing Visions: "An Honor Not Taken Lightly" by Bruce Stunkard
Good Stories: "Three Red Marbles"
Scrap Pile: "A Transforming Experience" by John Sumwalt
An Invitation to Send Stories
A Story to Live By
Are Ye Able?
But Jesus said to them, "You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I drink, or be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with?"
Mark 10:38
There are many touching stories that have come out of our Civil War days, of temporary peace and civility in the midst of violence. One such story occurred in the winter of 1863. Winter had just settled over Virginia, and both sides had slowed their fighting considerably. In the Confederate camps there ministered a devout chaplain by the name of Willie Ragland. Reverend Ragland preached the Gospel quite fervently, and a soldier named Goodwin was converted. Goodwin seized upon the idea of being baptized in the nearby Rapidan River, which was the dividing line between the Confederate and Union troops in that area. Confederate officers tried to discourage the idea, knowing that any man who approached the river was sure to be picked off by Union snipers. But Goodwin was determined to be baptized into his newfound faith, so the officers finally agreed.
Reverend Ragland, Goodwin, and about fifty Confederate soldiers left their weapons behind and made their way cautiously down to the river. Union soldiers, perplexed by these unarmed men wading out into icy waters, held their fire. Then, the Confederate soldiers began to sing: "There is a fountain filled with blood, Drawn from Emmanuel's veins; And sinners plunged beneath that flood, Lose all their guilty stains." Some of the Union's soldiers, moved by the sight, left their weapons too, and, lining up along the opposite side of the riverbank, joined their voices in singing: "And since, by faith, I saw the stream, Thy flowing wounds supply, Redeeming love has been my theme, And shall be 'til I die."
(John H. Leeper & Barbara Moseley, "Revival in the Camp," The Old South Farmer's Almanac, 1998, pp. 115-116)
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Sharing Visions
An Honor Not Taken Lightly
by Bruce Stunkard
Every high priest chosen from among mortals is put in charge of things pertaining to God on their behalf, to offer gifts and sacrifices for sins. He is able to deal gently with the ignorant and wayward, since he himself is subject to weakness; and because of this he must offer sacrifice for his own sins as well as for those of the people. And one does not presume to take this honor, but takes it only when called by God, just as Aaron was.
Hebrews 5:1-4
One winter evening, while working in a group home for people with mental disabilities, I took a resident to Saturday evening Mass. Her name was Susie. She was a 36-year-old woman with Down's Syndrome. Susie seemed to have two primary interests: eating and hugging. Though eating gave her great pleasure, her food required special preparation, as Susie was missing all of her teeth due to years of dental neglect at a state institution. She also loved to sit down close to a person and hold them for as long as they were willing.
Our activity that evening was church. Neither Susie nor I were Catholic, but St. Alphonsus Church was close, and the early evening service was convenient.
Throughout the Liturgy of the Word, Susie sat close to me, patting my hand as though she were reassuring me that everything would be all right. She passed the time by taking off and putting on her socks and shoes during the Liturgy of the Eucharist. While reciting the Lord's Prayer, she sounded like she was speaking in tongues. We were all invited to pass the peace, however many passed over Susie. As we began to sing, "Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world," Susie jumped to her feet and we proceeded to the table as the choir sang a Marty Haugen hymn:
Now in this banquet, Christ is our bread; Here shall all hungers be fed.
Bread that is broken, wine that is poured, Love is the sign of our Lord.
(from "Now In This Banquet" by Marty Haugen, GIA Publications, 1986)
We arrived at the Banquet table to receive the bread. The priest hesitated slightly when he saw her. He looked at me. I then showed Susie how to cup her hands to receive the Host, and she followed my lead. Taking her action as a sign to proceed, the priest pressed the round white Body of Christ into her palm. Susie looked at it with interest, picked it up with her small right thumb and index finger, and twirled it skillfully, like a magician performing a coin trick. She then handed it back to the priest. From the startled look on his face, I could tell that that had never happened before. His eyes were strained and he again looked to me for help. To relieve the awkwardness, I received Christ's body from her and we recessed back to our place.
Once seated in our pew, thinking the wafer may have been too large for her to chew, I began to break it and spoke the words, "Take and eat, this is my body, broken for you." Then something happened: something that I cannot explain. As I handed her the pieces to eat, the words I had just spoken seemed to reverberate deep within me and began to slowly ascend, until I heard them not in my own voice, but in Susie's. I felt that I was in the presence of Christ, and that I had just fed him. Trembling with awe-filled joy, like Mother Mary I continue to ponder this experience in my heart.
Bruce Stunkard is pastor of Cumberland and McKinley United Methodist Churches in northwestern Wisconsin. He is a teacher of Enneagram and enjoys woodworking, kayaking, searching for stones, and Lake Superior. Write to him at 1120 11th Avenue, PO Box 775, Cumberland, WI 54829. Bruce's story appears in Vision Stories: True Accounts of Visions, Angels, and Healing Miracles, edited by John E. Sumwalt (Lima, Ohio: CSS Publishing Company, 2002). Vision Stories is available from CSS through its website (http://www.csspub.com) or by calling 1-800-241-4056. Vision Stories is also available at many local Christian bookstores.
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Good Stories
Three Red Marbles
"... whoever wishes to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you must be a slave to all. For the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many."
Mark 10: 43b-45
During the waning years of the depression in a small southeastern Idaho community, I used to stop by Mr. Miller's roadside stand for farm-fresh produce as the season made it available. Food and money were still extremely scarce, and bartering was used extensively.
One particular day Mr. Miller was bagging some early potatoes for me. I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean, hungrily appraising a basket of freshly picked green peas. I paid for my potatoes, but was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas. I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes. Pondering the peas, I couldn't help overhearing the conversation between Mr. Miller and the ragged boy next to me.
"Hello, Barry. How are you today?"
"H'lo, Mr. Miller. Fine, thank ya. Jus' admirin' them peas ... sure look good."
"They are good, Barry. How's your ma?"
"Fine. Gittin' stronger alla' time."
"Good. Anything I can help you with?"
"No sir. Jus' admirin' them peas."
"Would you like to take some home?"
"No sir. Got nuthin' to pay for 'em with."
"Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?"
"All I got's my prize marble here."
"Is that right? Let me see it."
"Here 'tis. She's a dandy."
"I can see that. Hmmmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home?"
"Not 'zackley ... but, almost."
"Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you, and next trip this way let me look at that red marble."
"Sure will. Thanks, Mr. Miller."
Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over to help me. With a smile, she said: "There are two other boys like him in our community; all three are in very poor circumstances. Jim just loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes, or whatever. When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he doesn't like red after all, and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a green marble or an orange one, perhaps."
I left the stand, smiling to myself, impressed with this man. A short time later I moved to Colorado but I never forgot the story of this man, the boys, and their bartering. Several years went by, each more rapid than the previous one. Just recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho community, and while I was there learned that Mr. Miller had died.
They were having his viewing that evening, and knowing my friends wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them. Upon our arrival at the mortuary we fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased and to offer whatever words of comfort we could. Ahead of us in line were three young men. One was in an army uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white shirts ... very professional-looking. They approached Mrs. Miller, standing smiling and composed by her husband's casket. Each of the young men hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her, and moved on to the casket. Her misty light blue eyes followed them as, one by one, each young man stopped briefly and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand in the casket. Each left the mortuary, awkwardly, wiping his eyes.
Our turn came to meet Mrs. Miller. I told her who I was and mentioned the story she had told me about the marbles. Eyes glistening, she took my hand and led me to the casket.
"Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you about. They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim 'traded' them. Now, at last, when Jim could not change his mind about color or size ... they came to pay their debt. We've never had a great deal of the wealth of this world," she confided, "but right now Jim would consider himself the richest man in Idaho."
With loving gentleness she lifted the lifeless fingers of her deceased husband. Resting underneath were three exquisitely shined red marbles.
(This story by W.E. Petersen appeared in the October 1975 issue of Ensign magazine.)
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Scrap Pile
A Transforming Experience
by John Sumwalt
In the days of his flesh, Jesus offered up prayers and supplications, with loud cries and tears, to the one who was able to save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission.
Hebrews 5:7
I was part of a remarkable, life-changing, perhaps world-shaking event that occurred at a hearing at our state capital in Madison, Wisconsin on September 18. Seventy-five of us, who are survivors of clergy sexual abuse, told our stories to several very attentive state legislators.
Grace Duckert, 81, of Wauwatosa, said haltingly that she was sexually abused by a nun in Rubicon when she was 6 years old. She had blocked it out until 1991, when she saw seminarians on Oprah Winfrey's television show talking about being sexually abused. That day sent her into a depression she's still battling, she said. "There must be a window of opportunity, a good one, for people such as I to express themselves and let themselves be known," Duckert said. "These ... crimes against our children have just got to stop." ("Committees consider bill forcing churches to report abuse," by Todd Richmond, Associated Press, September 19, 2003, http://www.gazettextra.com/churchabuse091903.asp)
It turns out that Grace lives two blocks up the street from our home in Wauwatosa, although we had not met until that day. Her story in some ways parallels my own. She was sworn to secrecy by a family member. I was asked to keep the secret by the bishop of my church, the church in which I was already a declared ministerial candidate. I carried the secret until I was 43 years old, and, like Grace, endured several years of post-traumatic stress and depression. With the help of a loving family and a caring therapist I have become whole again and able to speak of what happened when I think it will be helpful to others. I have forgiven the man who assaulted me and the bishop who protected him.
Brenda Varga, 41, of Plover, told the committees she wanted justice against a priest who abused her when she was 9, but the statute of limitations has run out. Varga said the priest would take her to road waysides and kiss her with a mouth that smelled like cigars. She didn't seek counseling until she turned 35, after she realized she didn't trust anyone with her children. "They always ask me why I cry, why I'm so sad," Varga said, nearly sobbing. "I said, 'Someday when you're old enough, I'll tell you about the bad people in church.' " (Associated Press)
Telling these stories was a transforming experience for all involved, including the legislators. I watched their faces throughout the nine hours of testimony. They were deeply affected. They had read about this and they had talked to a few of us before, but as they listened to 75 of us, one after the other, they were changed. I don't know how they will vote on the legislation that is before them, but I do know that something holy happened in that room. By the grace of God, some good may come of this. Lives may be saved. Fewer children and youth will suffer in the future because of what happened at that hearing. The next day an editorial appeared in the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel. To view it, click on: http://www.jsonline.com/news/editorials/sep03/171418.asp
Below is a copy of a letter I sent to the Journal-Sentinel in response to their editorial.
To: The Editorial Staff of the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel
From: Pastor John Sumwalt
The members of the joint Senate and Assembly Judiciary Committee gave victims of clergy sexual abuse something that most of us had not received until last Thursday, a respectful hearing from persons in authority. Representative Mark Gundrum and several other members listened for nearly nine hours as 75 of us simply told what happened when we were assaulted by trusted pastors, how both Catholic and Protestant church officials acted to silence, blame, and shame us for speaking about a crime that, in any other context, would have been reported immediately as a criminal assault. I pray that the committee will adopt the amendment being prepared by Representative David Cullen that will allow a one-year window for victims to seek justice for past crimes. But however these lawmakers decide to act on this legislation, I for one will always be grateful for what they did that day. They listened! They responded with kindness and caring. It was healing. It was redemptive. Catholic and Protestant church officials would do well to offer similar public hearings all around the state. Trust will not be restored in our churches until every wounded soul has been heard!
This is some of the testimony I gave on September 18.
There are no words to describe the anguish suffered by those of us who have been wounded by the sexual abuse of a clergyperson or teacher in the church. It is absolutely devastating for children, as it is also for youth and adults. To be sexually used (assaulted) by one's spiritual leader, the one who represents God in one's life, the one who speaks for God from the pulpit or teaches the word of God in the classroom, is to have one's soul raped as well as one's body. It is a deep betrayal of all that is sacred and holy.
Many of us in this community of wounded souls cannot bear to go into a church, cannot bear to hear the organ play or to look on the face of ministers or priests. Like veterans of war whose nerve endings scream at the sound of any loud noise that resembles a gunshot, those who have been sexually abused by church shepherds can be unnerved by ordinary symbols of faith. Crosses, communion elements, clerical collars, vestments, prayers, hymns, the passing of the peace, any discussion of God or Christ have been tainted by perpetrators who used the sacred to seduce and manipulate for their own purposes. Those of us who have been able to remain in the church do so by the grace of God and despite the unwillingness of most Wisconsin churches to hold those who assaulted us publicly accountable.
Our numbers both in and outside the church are legion. Some of your neighbors and friends who you see every week may be suffering in silence. Victims of clergy sexual abuse are frequently shamed and shunned if they insist on telling what happened to them, as if they were to blame for bringing shame on the church. The silencing is a form of re-victimization.
Almost always those who perpetuate this conspiracy of silence are well-meaning and believe themselves to be fully supportive of the victims of sexual crimes. Usually they justify their refusal to name names with solemn expressions of concern about legal liability and long lists of perfectly reasonable ethical considerations. To those of us who have been injured by sexual abuse, this translates into an unwillingness to take any significant risks to care for our wounds or to take actions that will prevent perpetrators from wounding others.
Many of us had been given hope by the legislation proposed by Representative Peggy Krusick and Senator Alberta Darling. Now we are told there will be no "one-year window during which victims could file suit." As the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel editorial ("One Compromise Too Far," May 8, 2003, http://www.jsonline.com/news/editorials/may03/139376.asp) stated so well, "... victims of clergy abuse have been told all of their lives that they have to compromise. The time for compromise is over." We must have legislation that will protect the community from the perpetrators who have not yet been held accountable.
I call on the bishops and other leaders of Wisconsin churches to turn over the names and case files of every perpetrator of sexual abuse to the appropriate civil authorities.
I call on the clergy and lay leaders of every church to put their arms around all of those who have been wounded by clergy sexual abuse (adults as well as children) and allow them to tell their stories until they don't need to tell them anymore.
Most survivors will tell you that it is not about money. It is about being able to tell what happened -- and holding the criminal and those who protected him/her accountable so no one else gets hurt.
The proposed Senate bill SB 207 and Assembly bill AB 428 makes important improvements such as making clergy mandatory reporters, but it does not fully address sexual abuse by clergy and vowed religious.
As the proposal stands, perpetrators continue to have access to children in our community. Without revisions to the bill perpetrators remain unidentified, hidden, and protected. Children will continue to be exposed to clergy perpetrators who have already committed heinous crimes by sexually abusing and raping children.
If the pending legislation is not revised, there is no basis for holding the clergy child molesters or the church accountable for crimes that have already taken place.
As proposed, the bill only deals with perpetrators whose crimes are committed after the bill is passed. This is not enough to protect children. This is not enough to respond with justice to those who are suffering the effects of sexual crimes.
I urge you support the move to table AB 428/SB 207 until revisions are made that support both current and future victims. Children will not be protected until past offenses are addressed by legislation. The needs of victims will not be addressed until revisions are made. The identity of perpetrators must be made public.
Wisconsin churches must be held accountable as churches are in other states. Wisconsin is one the most dangerous states in the country for children because of state laws that protect clergy sex offenders from exposure and accountability.
Many Wisconsin churches have not taken effective steps to protect children or to give justice to victims, and will not take effective steps on their own without legislation that compels such action.
We simply must remove the obstacles that prevent victims of sexual violence from exposing abusers and removing them from positions of authority and access to children.
John E. Sumwalt
Pastor, Wauwatosa Avenue United Methodist Church
1529 Wauwatosa Avenue
Wauwatosa, Wisconsin 53213
Phone 414-257-1228
Sue Jamison, a StoryShare subscriber and a United Methodist pastor in the Central Pennsylvania Conference, sent the following letter in response to a story on clergy misconduct which appeared in June.
Hi John,
Just spent three days last week with the entire Cabinet and Intervention Team for Central Pennsylvania and potential new members of the team to do training. Another great place for information aside from FaithTrust Institute (Marie Fortune's place) is ISTI, the Interfaith Sexual Trauma Institute in Collegeville, Minnesota. Their website is http://www.csbsju.edu/isti/, and they also publish a lot of stuff and offer classes through distance learning.
As to a working bibliography, I've attached my current list. They are in no particular order and some have been around awhile, but I've read them all and found them to be very helpful. If you want the comprehensive list from the Colorado Training, send me your snail mail address and I'll be glad to send you a copy.
There are some really good videos available, notably Ask Before You Hug by COSROW and Not in My Church from FTI. I've used them both in prevention education seminars.
Sue Jamison
If you would like to receive Sue's bibliography or if you have information about clergy sexual abuse to share, write to us at jsumwalt@naspa.net.
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An Invitation to Send Stories
We are collecting personal stories for a third volume in the vision series, to be released in 2004. The new working title is Shining Moments: Visions of the Holy in Ordinary Lives. If you have any stories to share of your personal experience of the holy, please send them to jsumwalt@naspa.net.
New Book Released
We are happy to report that the second volume in the vision series, Sharing Visions: Divine Revelations, Angels, and Holy Coincidences, is now available from CSS Publishing Company. For more information about the book click here or visit the CSS website at http://www.csspub.com.
Special Pricing for StoryShare Subscribers
Sharing Visions retails for $19.95. CSS has graciously agreed to make the book available to StoryShare subscribers for just $11.97 (plus shipping & handling). To take advantage of this special pricing, you must use the special code SS40SV. Simply e-mail your order to orders@csspub.com or phone 1-800-241-4056. If you live outside the U.S., phone 419-227-1818.
Praise for Sharing Visions
Bishop Richard Wilke, creator of the Disciple Bible Study series, writes: "I am rejoicing as I read the testimonies in Sharing Visions. What an inspiration! I recall my father, an unemotional man, telling me that his mother (who had died some years before) appeared to him in a dream and gave him counsel on a difficult decision he was wrestling with."
StoryShare, October 19, 2003, issue.
Copyright 2003 by CSS Publishing Company, Inc., Lima, Ohio.
All rights reserved. Subscribers to the StoryShare service may print and use this material as it was intended in sermons, in worship and classroom settings, in brief devotions, in radio spots, and as newsletter fillers. No additional permission is required from the publisher for such use by subscribers only. Inquiries should be addressed to permissions@csspub.com or to Permissions, CSS Publishing Company, Inc., P.O. Box 4503, Lima, Ohio 45802-4503.
