Top Ten List
Sermon
Life Injections
Connecting Scripture to the Human Experience
Object:
... if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive...
David Letterman helped inspire this talk on forgiveness.
__________
What I like about David Letterman and his late-night talk show is not just his offbeat humor, but also some of the bits that have become a regular part of the show. One of those bits is the top ten list. It has become a signature item for Letterman. He uses it to poke fun at some topic that might have surfaced in the news during a particular week.
Today's Gospel is about forgiveness. Although Letterman uses the top ten list to poke fun and elicit laughter, here is a serious version concentrating on the topic of forgiveness. Here are the top ten reasons why we need to practice forgiveness.
Reason Number 10 is because the failure to do so can have epic repercussions.
Recently the Parliament of World Religions met in Chicago. The entire week was an effort to forge some common ground among the ten world religions. It was an effort to secure people in their own religion while at the same time looking for ways we might work together on common problems.
One of the plenary sessions was: "The Voices of the Dispossessed." People representing areas of the world where human rights have been violated, where injustice, persecution, and terrorism were rampant, were invited to speak. Things went smoothly until someone from Kashmir spoke. Suddenly shouts were heard from the audience. The same thing happened when a Sikh spoke of the persecution of his people. Tension filled the air, for there were various groups in the audience who had different perspectives on the Sikh and Kashmir problem.
The disputing parties, that unfortunately are drawn along religious lines, have been at each other's throats for hundreds of years. The whole thing started when one family wronged another family, and no effort toward forgiveness and reconciliation was ever made. Things started to escalate, and centuries later the acrimony, the hatred, and the thirst for vengeance have reached epic proportions involving hundreds of thousands of people.
Dominique Henri Pire, the winner of the 1958 Nobel Prize, once said, "If an atomic bomb falls on the world tomorrow, it is because I argued with my neighbor today." The failure to forgive can have tragic and epic consequences because there is no telling the escalation of the bad blood and the bad spirit between you and the person who wronged you.
Reason Number 9 as to why we need to practice forgiveness is that the failure to do so can have a poisonous effect on our personalities and our character.
According to the folklore of the Pima Indians, we are all born having a stone with spikes sticking out of it positioned right next to our heart. If a person hurt or neglected someone or did something to break down a relationship, the stone would begin to turn, and it continued to turn until the situation was set aright or corrected. According to this fascinating legend, although the spikes rubbed against the heart, they did not cut or puncture it. They merely rubbed and rubbed until the heart became more and more calloused. In that way, the longer one waited to correct a situation, the longer one waited to practice forgiveness and reconciliation, the more calloused became one's heart. Although it is all a matter of folklore, nothing comes closer to the truth. The failure to practice forgiveness can espouse bitterness and resentment, and that can only serve to harden one's heart and in the process poison one's personality and character.
Reason Number 8 is because the person who wronged us may not know that he or she did so.
In Anthony Robbins' latest book1 he makes a point about rules: all of us operate out of different sets of rules. The basis of every emotional upset we've ever had with another human being is in reality a rules upset. Somebody did something or failed to do something that violated one of our rules about what he or she must or should do.
For example, some people's rule for respect is: "If you respect me, then you never raise your voice." So if a person with whom you're in a relationship suddenly starts to yell, you're not going to feel respected if that's your rule. You're going to feel angry because it has been violated. Other people, on the other hand, may be living by a different set of rules. They may be living by the rule that being respectful means being truthful about all their feelings and all their emotions -- good, bad, or indifferent -- and they express them with all their intensity. With that kind of scenario, one person can hurt another person and not feel that he or she did so at all.
If forgiveness is practiced, that sort of rule conflict is brought to light. If forgiveness is practiced, the air is cleared about differences in philosophy, and greater sensitivity can be practiced by all concerned.
Reason Number 7 is that the person who hurt you may have done so because he or she has been hurt.
We've been hearing a lot these days of the stain that's left in people when their childhood has been brutalized by abuse or neglect. Chances are that later in life that very stain will exemplify itself in similar behavior. That's not excusing the perpetrator of a hurt; that's not suggesting that we let things go without saying anything about it. It's just that we need to realize that people sometimes do bad things because they've been hurt deeply by someone who did bad things to them. The practice of forgiveness can bring that to light.
Reason Number 6 as to why we should practice forgiveness is that the person who hurt us may have been trying to help us.
Anaximenes, the old cynic philosopher, used to say that there are only two people who can tell us the truth. The first is an enemy who hates us bitterly, and the second, a friend who loves us dearly. A truth can quite often hurt, and rather than facing it, we live a lie. Every once in a while a friend has the guts to expose that lie. Instead of being grateful, we resent that person and we consider what he or she did reprehensible, and we often sever the friendship. Practicing forgiveness might bring to light the fact that our friend was trying to help us and not hurt us. It might help expedite our need to face up to a truth that we've been trying to avoid.
Reason Number 5 is the fact that forgiveness is a bridge over which we must pass ourselves.
A guru promised a scholar a revelation of greater consequence than anything contained in scripture. The scholar, as you might imagine, took the guru up on his offer. The guru said, "Go out into the rain and raise your head and arms heavenward. That will bring you the first revelation." The next day the scholar came to report, "I followed your advice and water flowed down my neck, and I felt like a perfect fool." "Well," said the guru, "for the first day that's quite a revelation, isn't it?"
Too often, we consider ourselves beyond foolishness. We consider ourselves paragons of virtue, unable to make a mistake or commit a wrongdoing. The truth, as that scholar discovered, is otherwise. We need to practice forgiveness because we're not angels, and many will be the times we will be in need of forgiveness.
Reason Number 4 is the fact that it's the only way we can ever realize honest and true peace.
When Leonardo da Vinci was painting the Last Supper, he became angry with a man and lashed out at him. He even threatened him. As he went back to his studio and tried to paint, ironically, the face of Jesus, he discovered he wasn't able to do so. There was too much anger and resentment brewing inside him. He had no choice but to put down his brushes and go find the man and ask his forgiveness. It was only then that he had the inner calm needed to paint the face of Jesus.
When we wrong someone or when someone wrongs us, like da Vinci, that anger, hurt, and resentment will brew inside us. And unless we find a way to practice forgiveness and reconciliation, unless we unload those feelings, that anger, hurt, and resentment will rob us of inner peace and, like da Vinci, it can't help but negatively affect the performance of our vocational duties.
Reason Number 3 is that forgiveness serves as a source of needed inspiration.
Robert Coles, the noted Harvard psychologist, was called to Montgomery, Alabama, back in the '60s to help a young black girl who each day was escorted by federal marshals to an all-white school. Each day, the eight-year-old girl, whose name was Ruby Bridges, would have to walk past parents and children who would taunt her and call her every name under the sun. Besides that, every day she received volumes of hate mail.
What flabbergasted Coles was how psychologically healthy she was after weeks of such an ordeal. He couldn't figure out how that could be until one day he noticed that whenever she walked past those taunting parents and children she would be saying something. He discovered that she did that every day. Questioning her as to what she was saying when she walked past the crowd, Ruby Bridges answered that she was praying. "What is it that you're praying?" asked Coles. "I'm praying: 'Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.' " Of all the clients Coles ever had, none inspired him as much as did Ruby Bridges.
Reason Number 2 as to why we should be practicing forgiveness is that it happens to be an element of healing.
Dr. Bernie Siegel says that whenever he visits elderly patients, he always whispers in their ear that their sins are forgiven. It's been his experience that many people see their illness or their trouble as a punishment for their sins. Even though it isn't so, the belief is there. Forgiveness thus becomes critical if any healing is to take place.
In case you've despaired that I'd ever get there, Reason Number 1 as to why we should practice forgiveness is that God has forgiven and still forgives us.
I read2 of an interview in which John Killinger, the renowned preacher, was being asked about the contrast between the Old Testament and the New Testament. In the Old Testament, God was seen as vengeful and vindictive, while in the New Testament God was seen as reconciling and forgiving. The interviewer wanted to know how and why God changed.
Killinger's response was classic. He said that God never changed at all. God was always loving, reconciling, and forgiving. Jesus was sent, and the New Testament was written as a way for God to get rid of and correct a bad reputation. Since God always forgives us, we, in turn, should forgive others.
There you have it. The top ten reasons why we should practice forgiveness. Suffice it to say, if you haven't practiced forgiveness, it's time you started.
_____________
1. Anthony Robbins, Awaken the Giant Within (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1991).
2. James W. Moore, You Can Get Bitter or Better (Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1989), p. 61.
David Letterman helped inspire this talk on forgiveness.
__________
What I like about David Letterman and his late-night talk show is not just his offbeat humor, but also some of the bits that have become a regular part of the show. One of those bits is the top ten list. It has become a signature item for Letterman. He uses it to poke fun at some topic that might have surfaced in the news during a particular week.
Today's Gospel is about forgiveness. Although Letterman uses the top ten list to poke fun and elicit laughter, here is a serious version concentrating on the topic of forgiveness. Here are the top ten reasons why we need to practice forgiveness.
Reason Number 10 is because the failure to do so can have epic repercussions.
Recently the Parliament of World Religions met in Chicago. The entire week was an effort to forge some common ground among the ten world religions. It was an effort to secure people in their own religion while at the same time looking for ways we might work together on common problems.
One of the plenary sessions was: "The Voices of the Dispossessed." People representing areas of the world where human rights have been violated, where injustice, persecution, and terrorism were rampant, were invited to speak. Things went smoothly until someone from Kashmir spoke. Suddenly shouts were heard from the audience. The same thing happened when a Sikh spoke of the persecution of his people. Tension filled the air, for there were various groups in the audience who had different perspectives on the Sikh and Kashmir problem.
The disputing parties, that unfortunately are drawn along religious lines, have been at each other's throats for hundreds of years. The whole thing started when one family wronged another family, and no effort toward forgiveness and reconciliation was ever made. Things started to escalate, and centuries later the acrimony, the hatred, and the thirst for vengeance have reached epic proportions involving hundreds of thousands of people.
Dominique Henri Pire, the winner of the 1958 Nobel Prize, once said, "If an atomic bomb falls on the world tomorrow, it is because I argued with my neighbor today." The failure to forgive can have tragic and epic consequences because there is no telling the escalation of the bad blood and the bad spirit between you and the person who wronged you.
Reason Number 9 as to why we need to practice forgiveness is that the failure to do so can have a poisonous effect on our personalities and our character.
According to the folklore of the Pima Indians, we are all born having a stone with spikes sticking out of it positioned right next to our heart. If a person hurt or neglected someone or did something to break down a relationship, the stone would begin to turn, and it continued to turn until the situation was set aright or corrected. According to this fascinating legend, although the spikes rubbed against the heart, they did not cut or puncture it. They merely rubbed and rubbed until the heart became more and more calloused. In that way, the longer one waited to correct a situation, the longer one waited to practice forgiveness and reconciliation, the more calloused became one's heart. Although it is all a matter of folklore, nothing comes closer to the truth. The failure to practice forgiveness can espouse bitterness and resentment, and that can only serve to harden one's heart and in the process poison one's personality and character.
Reason Number 8 is because the person who wronged us may not know that he or she did so.
In Anthony Robbins' latest book1 he makes a point about rules: all of us operate out of different sets of rules. The basis of every emotional upset we've ever had with another human being is in reality a rules upset. Somebody did something or failed to do something that violated one of our rules about what he or she must or should do.
For example, some people's rule for respect is: "If you respect me, then you never raise your voice." So if a person with whom you're in a relationship suddenly starts to yell, you're not going to feel respected if that's your rule. You're going to feel angry because it has been violated. Other people, on the other hand, may be living by a different set of rules. They may be living by the rule that being respectful means being truthful about all their feelings and all their emotions -- good, bad, or indifferent -- and they express them with all their intensity. With that kind of scenario, one person can hurt another person and not feel that he or she did so at all.
If forgiveness is practiced, that sort of rule conflict is brought to light. If forgiveness is practiced, the air is cleared about differences in philosophy, and greater sensitivity can be practiced by all concerned.
Reason Number 7 is that the person who hurt you may have done so because he or she has been hurt.
We've been hearing a lot these days of the stain that's left in people when their childhood has been brutalized by abuse or neglect. Chances are that later in life that very stain will exemplify itself in similar behavior. That's not excusing the perpetrator of a hurt; that's not suggesting that we let things go without saying anything about it. It's just that we need to realize that people sometimes do bad things because they've been hurt deeply by someone who did bad things to them. The practice of forgiveness can bring that to light.
Reason Number 6 as to why we should practice forgiveness is that the person who hurt us may have been trying to help us.
Anaximenes, the old cynic philosopher, used to say that there are only two people who can tell us the truth. The first is an enemy who hates us bitterly, and the second, a friend who loves us dearly. A truth can quite often hurt, and rather than facing it, we live a lie. Every once in a while a friend has the guts to expose that lie. Instead of being grateful, we resent that person and we consider what he or she did reprehensible, and we often sever the friendship. Practicing forgiveness might bring to light the fact that our friend was trying to help us and not hurt us. It might help expedite our need to face up to a truth that we've been trying to avoid.
Reason Number 5 is the fact that forgiveness is a bridge over which we must pass ourselves.
A guru promised a scholar a revelation of greater consequence than anything contained in scripture. The scholar, as you might imagine, took the guru up on his offer. The guru said, "Go out into the rain and raise your head and arms heavenward. That will bring you the first revelation." The next day the scholar came to report, "I followed your advice and water flowed down my neck, and I felt like a perfect fool." "Well," said the guru, "for the first day that's quite a revelation, isn't it?"
Too often, we consider ourselves beyond foolishness. We consider ourselves paragons of virtue, unable to make a mistake or commit a wrongdoing. The truth, as that scholar discovered, is otherwise. We need to practice forgiveness because we're not angels, and many will be the times we will be in need of forgiveness.
Reason Number 4 is the fact that it's the only way we can ever realize honest and true peace.
When Leonardo da Vinci was painting the Last Supper, he became angry with a man and lashed out at him. He even threatened him. As he went back to his studio and tried to paint, ironically, the face of Jesus, he discovered he wasn't able to do so. There was too much anger and resentment brewing inside him. He had no choice but to put down his brushes and go find the man and ask his forgiveness. It was only then that he had the inner calm needed to paint the face of Jesus.
When we wrong someone or when someone wrongs us, like da Vinci, that anger, hurt, and resentment will brew inside us. And unless we find a way to practice forgiveness and reconciliation, unless we unload those feelings, that anger, hurt, and resentment will rob us of inner peace and, like da Vinci, it can't help but negatively affect the performance of our vocational duties.
Reason Number 3 is that forgiveness serves as a source of needed inspiration.
Robert Coles, the noted Harvard psychologist, was called to Montgomery, Alabama, back in the '60s to help a young black girl who each day was escorted by federal marshals to an all-white school. Each day, the eight-year-old girl, whose name was Ruby Bridges, would have to walk past parents and children who would taunt her and call her every name under the sun. Besides that, every day she received volumes of hate mail.
What flabbergasted Coles was how psychologically healthy she was after weeks of such an ordeal. He couldn't figure out how that could be until one day he noticed that whenever she walked past those taunting parents and children she would be saying something. He discovered that she did that every day. Questioning her as to what she was saying when she walked past the crowd, Ruby Bridges answered that she was praying. "What is it that you're praying?" asked Coles. "I'm praying: 'Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.' " Of all the clients Coles ever had, none inspired him as much as did Ruby Bridges.
Reason Number 2 as to why we should be practicing forgiveness is that it happens to be an element of healing.
Dr. Bernie Siegel says that whenever he visits elderly patients, he always whispers in their ear that their sins are forgiven. It's been his experience that many people see their illness or their trouble as a punishment for their sins. Even though it isn't so, the belief is there. Forgiveness thus becomes critical if any healing is to take place.
In case you've despaired that I'd ever get there, Reason Number 1 as to why we should practice forgiveness is that God has forgiven and still forgives us.
I read2 of an interview in which John Killinger, the renowned preacher, was being asked about the contrast between the Old Testament and the New Testament. In the Old Testament, God was seen as vengeful and vindictive, while in the New Testament God was seen as reconciling and forgiving. The interviewer wanted to know how and why God changed.
Killinger's response was classic. He said that God never changed at all. God was always loving, reconciling, and forgiving. Jesus was sent, and the New Testament was written as a way for God to get rid of and correct a bad reputation. Since God always forgives us, we, in turn, should forgive others.
There you have it. The top ten reasons why we should practice forgiveness. Suffice it to say, if you haven't practiced forgiveness, it's time you started.
_____________
1. Anthony Robbins, Awaken the Giant Within (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1991).
2. James W. Moore, You Can Get Bitter or Better (Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1989), p. 61.
