One Husband's Counsel
Sermon
Best Wedding Meditations
An Anthology
Object:
____________ and ____________, what a marvelous day this is for us! In this moment we have come to stand by you as, in the presence of our Lord, you experience one of the most precious and important events of your life -- your wedding. We are here to assure you that because we love you, we will pray for you and support you as you go out from this place. For we know that happy weddings are a dime a dozen; happy marriages are rare. Unfortunately, there are no self-help books, no "Ten Steps to Marital Bliss" which can ensure a strong, joyous marriage. But Saint Peter in his first letter gives some sound words of wisdom. Peter, you might recall, is the only disciple who we know for sure was married. Listen to his husbandly counsel. "... Have unity of spirit, sympathy, love of [each other], a tender heart and a humble mind. Do not return evil for evil or [insult for insult]; but on the contrary bless, for to this you have been called, that you may obtain a blessing" (1 Peter 3:8-9). Peter, as a husband, knows that a good marriage takes more than determination; it requires selfless love, patience, and self-sacrifice. It also takes an awareness that a married couple is, in fact, a single entity. So he speaks of having unity of spirit.
It's a fact. Your lives are now so inextricably bound that every action and every word, directly or indirectly affects the other. You have great power over each other, power to make the other either happy or depressed. But you cannot cause sorrow to your mate without losing something of the dignity and beauty of love in the process, just as you cannot bring happiness without adding to your own enjoyment of life. As you become united in marriage, you hold the emotions of each other in your hands. God grant you the wisdom to hold them gently, with compassion. Peter also counsels you to have sympathy, and stresses how important this is in a good marriage. To know that someone stands by you, no matter how rugged and rough the times become, is a great blessing. One thing is clear: sympathy and selfishness cannot occupy the same space. Sympathy requires that we forget ourselves, step outside ourselves, and identify with the cares and problems of our mate. It is within the arena of sympathy and compassion that love grows deeper and more lovely than any newlyweds can possibly imagine.
Another point of Peter's counsel is to remain humble. Sad is the marriage when one or both of the spouses think they could have done better or feel they got the raw end of the marriage. It can happen. It is very easy to take our mate for granted, to forget virtues, and to concentrate on faults. We are all sinful and imperfect people, who are difficult to live with at times. Never lose the capacity to marvel at the fact that your mate chose to marry you, warts and all!
Then Peter counsels you to be forgiving. Forgiveness is the heart of happiness. We know that hostility upsets our bodies and our lives. To be at odds with one's mate creates an agony which consumes our energy and dominates our thoughts. Strange, then, that we do not seek reconciliation more readily. I assure you, you will save much time and emotional wear and tear by being willing to seek reconciliation. Do not return evil for evil or insult for insult; be mature enough to reach out to each other with forgiveness and love.
Paul concludes his counsel by urging you to be a blessing. The best way this happens is to create a home in which Christ is present. Attending worship together has a cohesive influence on a relationship; devotions together brings some of the most healing interludes of life. Opening our hearts and our home to Christ in no way diminishes our happiness in marriage -- far from it -- for he brings his blessing and joy and peace wherever he resides. And you know, the more you revel in his blessings, the more of a blessing you will be to each other and to all whose lives are graced by yours.
So then, ____________ and ____________, we are sending you off with our prayers and our love. In following the counsel of Peter, may you discover all the great and wonderful things that God has planned for your future. As you do, you will truly be a blessing to each other, to your loved ones, and to your God. May he watch over your days and your deeds in his peace. Amen.
It's a fact. Your lives are now so inextricably bound that every action and every word, directly or indirectly affects the other. You have great power over each other, power to make the other either happy or depressed. But you cannot cause sorrow to your mate without losing something of the dignity and beauty of love in the process, just as you cannot bring happiness without adding to your own enjoyment of life. As you become united in marriage, you hold the emotions of each other in your hands. God grant you the wisdom to hold them gently, with compassion. Peter also counsels you to have sympathy, and stresses how important this is in a good marriage. To know that someone stands by you, no matter how rugged and rough the times become, is a great blessing. One thing is clear: sympathy and selfishness cannot occupy the same space. Sympathy requires that we forget ourselves, step outside ourselves, and identify with the cares and problems of our mate. It is within the arena of sympathy and compassion that love grows deeper and more lovely than any newlyweds can possibly imagine.
Another point of Peter's counsel is to remain humble. Sad is the marriage when one or both of the spouses think they could have done better or feel they got the raw end of the marriage. It can happen. It is very easy to take our mate for granted, to forget virtues, and to concentrate on faults. We are all sinful and imperfect people, who are difficult to live with at times. Never lose the capacity to marvel at the fact that your mate chose to marry you, warts and all!
Then Peter counsels you to be forgiving. Forgiveness is the heart of happiness. We know that hostility upsets our bodies and our lives. To be at odds with one's mate creates an agony which consumes our energy and dominates our thoughts. Strange, then, that we do not seek reconciliation more readily. I assure you, you will save much time and emotional wear and tear by being willing to seek reconciliation. Do not return evil for evil or insult for insult; be mature enough to reach out to each other with forgiveness and love.
Paul concludes his counsel by urging you to be a blessing. The best way this happens is to create a home in which Christ is present. Attending worship together has a cohesive influence on a relationship; devotions together brings some of the most healing interludes of life. Opening our hearts and our home to Christ in no way diminishes our happiness in marriage -- far from it -- for he brings his blessing and joy and peace wherever he resides. And you know, the more you revel in his blessings, the more of a blessing you will be to each other and to all whose lives are graced by yours.
So then, ____________ and ____________, we are sending you off with our prayers and our love. In following the counsel of Peter, may you discover all the great and wonderful things that God has planned for your future. As you do, you will truly be a blessing to each other, to your loved ones, and to your God. May he watch over your days and your deeds in his peace. Amen.
