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Making It Preach

Compassion fatigue is a very real threat to committed Christians. Jesus regularly went away by himself to pray, and after a particularly long day of spiritually and physically feeding a multitude, Jesus sent his disciples off in a boat to give them a break while he dismissed the crowd (Matthew 14:22). However, the disciples in Joppa did not necessarily understand this pattern of sabbath renewal as an important part of staying fit for ministry. Our churches often do not, either, and we end up losing some of our most valuable lay and clergy ministers to burnout. Tabitha's testimony underscores how Jesus can turn our life experiences into gifts for those who are hurting. But, it also reminds us to deepen our connection with Christ and spread around the work of ministry for the sake of God's glory, the empowerment of Christ's people, and the transformation of heavy burdens into joyous opportunities.


Making It Play

Tabitha has a strength of character refined in life's fires. The congregation meets her at a crossroads between where she would like to be and where she finds herself. The Apostle Paul articulated it this way: For to me, living is Christ and dying is gain (Philippians 1:21). With a wry smile, as Tabitha lays out her story, she sets about convincing herself that being thrust back into her earthly ministry is best. She could be in the process of bringing more garments to the widows, giving her hands something to do as she tells her story. Despite the wealth in her family, she likely dresses simply in solidarity with those to whom she ministers: a tunic, head covering, and sandals.


A Resurrected Tabitha Reflects On Life And Ministry

There they are. Here I am. It is so much the same, yet absolutely different. I had not realized how important this ministry is to the other disciples ... and to God. Sure, the widows appreciate it. To them, these hastily sewn garments are precious because they are new and clean and -- free! They have no means with which to buy the material to make their own, even if they could. If they did, some of them would have sewn circles around me in their day! They've told me as much. In fact, a few whose eyesight is still keen and whose fingers are not too gnarled have offered their services, and that is the reason the quality of the tunics and cloaks has improved! Praise God for their talent! But, I provide the material, and I do feel a calling to care for these women, to comfort them in their losses and illnesses, so I guess I belong here, as well. That is why I'm back. My name is Tabitha.

Oh, no, I didn't go anywhere ... well, actually I did, but it wasn't the type of trip one takes every day. I went to be with my Lord, the Lord, Jesus the Christ. Wait! Before you politely make excuses so that you don't have to listen to lunatic ravings, please know that I'm as sane as any of you. It's just that I was the recipient of a miracle. I was dead! The Apostle Peter -- good, you've heard of him -- he prayed, and God thrust me back into this life. One moment I was floating in the warmth and peace of paradise, and the next thing I knew, a man's voice commanded me to get up! I was a little shaky at first, as you might imagine, but he offered me his hand, and there I was, in an upper room where we often meet for meals and prayer and discussion of Jesus and the Hebrew Scriptures. Then, he escorted me down the stairs as if I was a princess. I still had no idea who he was, but seeing the joy and tears on the faces of not only the widows, but the disciples, brought a lump to my throat. I knew I had to hide my true feelings, so I put on my best smile, greeted everyone warmly, and thought, "Here we go again!"

That sounds ungrateful, doesn't it? I don't mean to be. I prayed fervently after it all happened for Jesus to forgive my selfishness. You see ... I didn't want to come back. Please don't misunderstand me; I had found working with the widows and poor families rewarding, if also exhausting. Those children are bundles of energy, even when they haven't been eating properly, and they have so much love to give! But, I did it all in anticipation of the day I would see Jesus return, so that more hearts would be ready for him. When I became ill so quickly -- something inside of me stopped working, I accepted my fate because I knew I would be in the heavenly realms with Jesus, and then return with the other believers when he transformed this earth to the kingdom of God. Never, in all my wildest dreams, had I imagined I'd return before him! So, though it doesn't excuse my reaction, I hope it at least explains my hesitation at jumping back in.

As I said before, though everything and everybody looks just the same, it is not. I am not! You cannot return from a dance with the divine and not be a little starry-eyed. I'm a bit bolder, for one thing! Having grown up in the shadow of such a powerful earthly father made me feel rather small. He began a merchant fleet with just one small boat that he'd put all his money into, and he spent his first season patching it after every voyage! But, he was savvy and personable and able to convince others to invest in his business venture, and in twenty years he was running one of the most successful shipping enterprises on the Mediterranean, headquartered here in Joppa. I was always in awe of my father, who had little time for me, though he took an interest in my brothers once they were old enough to learn the principles of sailing and shipping and business. I was married off to the son of one of his most lucrative trading partners, a manufacturer of dyes. I did not even think to object, though my intended was Greek and had been drunk each time I met him.

Gregorius did lay off the drink long enough to enjoy his new plaything, that's what I was to him, but he could not lay off indefinitely. He spent less and less time at work, less time at home, outside of sleeping, and his reputation was rather infamous. His father had to buy him out of more than a few embarrassing situations. Gregorius was so out of control that his mother and other women stopped looking at me askance for not producing children, and simply looked at me with pity. I can't say that was much of an improvement. I was too timid to confront him about his problem and my loneliness, so I spent a lot of time in prayer. Though his family had a shrine and they prayed to their household goddess, I was allowed to pray on my own to the Jewish God, the one true God. I could not go to synagogue because my husband would not convert to my religion, but I quietly observed the rituals of my faith that did not interfere with the social interactions in this Greek family. Kosher meals were definitely out of the question!

And, it was my faith that consoled me when the drinking finally made Gregorius ill, and I decided to nurse him. His mother did not think that was appropriate, since we had many servants, but she also did not know what else to do with me, so she said very little. It was during this time that my husband and I finally became friends and shared some tender moments, but it was too late. His skin turned a horrible grayish-yellowish color, and he wasted away.

It was while I was walking to clear my head of the grief and uncertainty about my future that I saw a crowd gathered around the doorway of a small synagogue. They were listening to a traveling teacher. I pulled my head covering down farther so that no one would recognize me, and I moved in, wanting to hear what this strange man had to say. "Who is he?" I heard someone ask behind me.

"Says his name is Philip. Says he has news of the Messiah!"

Well, that caught my attention! I moved as close as I could to the doorway to try and make out what this Philip was saying. When I heard the name Jesus of Nazareth, I started looking for a quick way out of the crowd. Whenever that heretic's name was mentioned, riots followed! I saw the look of displeasure on the face of the rabbi, but could find no graceful way out. "Wonderful!" I thought! "My husband has just died, and I will be found trampled to death in a place I am not even supposed to be! The rabbis will probably say it is my punishment for marrying a drunken heathen!"

But, God's face smiled upon me, upon us all, because Philip's easy-going manner and careful use of phrases like I believe such and such or I'd like you to just pray about and consider these things made him seem less of a threat. Well, I did pray about his words, about this Jesus, and found myself seeking out the places Philip would go each day to teach us more about Jesus. One day we met by a small pool of water trapped near the sea, since the rocks made the shore too dangerous, and I was baptized along with several others. I knew then that Jesus would be the "man of my life."

However, there was the issue of my future. My oldest brother, Dominic, had taken over the business after my father passed away, just over a year before Gregorius died. Since I had no children, there was no reason to stay with his family, so I went back home to help with my mother, nieces, and nephew. Though my brother hinted at my remarrying, he saw that I was increasingly getting involved with good works to keep busy, so he did not push. My family was politely tolerant of my belief that the Messiah had come and offered forgiveness of sins; they knew I was still grieving the loss of my husband. As time wore on, though, my sisters-in-law and mother began to believe and were even baptized secretly. But, since followers of the way of Christ were not popular, they knew my brothers would not approve of their open participation, fearing it would hurt the business. So, my mother and sisters-in-law would help when they could from home, but I was the only one who was known to be a believer in Jesus. I became the family "eccentric," but I didn't mind because it made it easier for me to come and go as I pleased.

Since I was a widow myself and realized that my family's wealth and good will were the only reasons I had means of support, I felt a special calling to help other widows who were not thus blessed. And, as I got to know these women and their neighbors, helping to distribute food to the poor and nurse the sick, I discovered that new, clean clothing was an expense poor women and families could not afford. Though I had never had to sew, I had learned to do some needle work to pass the time during my lonely marriage. Therefore, I decided to put that knowledge, if not an actual skill, to work, and I began to make garments. The recipients of the first tunics were very gracious, considering the blood-stains from pricked fingers, so I knew the need must be great. Soon, other women believers started to help, and I found myself organizing that and many of the efforts on behalf of the poor. But, I did keep sewing because I found it more enjoyable the better I became -- fewer needle sticks, anyway. I would report back to the disciples, and they seemed pleased with our efforts. However, when they started to invite me to the discussions in which decisions were made regarding our community of believers, I felt a bit overwhelmed. I wasn't used to men asking for my opinion, and when they began to refer to me as one the disciples, I felt a great deal of pressure. I would not give up my service to the Lord Jesus, but I found that I was more and more anxious and tired as the days, weeks, and months wore on.

At first, when the illness struck, I thought it was just that I could not keep up with everyone's expectations. So, I'll admit it: It was a relief to die and hear those glorious words of Jesus spoken to me, "Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of your master!" I did not realize that the words of that parable that resonated through my spirit, saying I had been faithful in a few things and would be put in charge of many things, meant sending me back! I thought they were preparing me for joyful service in God's kingdom, not the ghetto of Joppa!

"I will be there, soon!" I hear the women laughing and calling to me, and in their voices I hear the voice of Jesus lingering ... encouraging. It is not easy to be a follower of the way of the Christ. Yet, I know something others don't know. I've seen something you've not seen. I believe with certainty. Like Mary of Magdalene, I can say that I have seen the Lord! There is no place for insecurity, no need for fear anymore! Take your place with him, serve him, and you'll see. Someday, you'll see it all! "I'm coming!" May it be so for you! (exits)