Forsaken?
Stories
Shining Moments
Visions Of The Holy In Ordinary Lives
Judith B. Brain
I got a panicky phone call from a parishioner. "Kate" was going through a terrible time. Her daughter had been hospitalized after attempting suicide, another manifestation of severe psychological trauma resulting from a childhood rape.
In addition, Kate was in the middle of divorcing her emotionally-abusive husband and her son was acting out because of all the turmoil in their lives. Now, her job was threatened because she'd had to take too much time off to care for her daughter and shepherd her son through his troubles.
She was distraught when she asked me to come over. Thinking about all the stresses in her life made me wonder how I would be an effective pastor in this overwhelmingly difficult situation. On the drive to her house, I reviewed all of the things I'd learned in counseling and pastoral care courses. "Let her express her fears and anger. Stay with the pain. Don't try to solve anything. Respect her feelings of loss and abandonment...."
When I got to the house she pulled me inside, and before I said a word, she looked me straight in the eye and said, "I don't need you to sit here and listen to my pain and give me an opportunity to express my feelings. I've got a shrink for that. I want you to tell me why God is doing this to me!"
I got a panicky phone call from a parishioner. "Kate" was going through a terrible time. Her daughter had been hospitalized after attempting suicide, another manifestation of severe psychological trauma resulting from a childhood rape.
In addition, Kate was in the middle of divorcing her emotionally-abusive husband and her son was acting out because of all the turmoil in their lives. Now, her job was threatened because she'd had to take too much time off to care for her daughter and shepherd her son through his troubles.
She was distraught when she asked me to come over. Thinking about all the stresses in her life made me wonder how I would be an effective pastor in this overwhelmingly difficult situation. On the drive to her house, I reviewed all of the things I'd learned in counseling and pastoral care courses. "Let her express her fears and anger. Stay with the pain. Don't try to solve anything. Respect her feelings of loss and abandonment...."
When I got to the house she pulled me inside, and before I said a word, she looked me straight in the eye and said, "I don't need you to sit here and listen to my pain and give me an opportunity to express my feelings. I've got a shrink for that. I want you to tell me why God is doing this to me!"

