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My mother died on January 20, 2001. I am her only daughter, and we were very close. She had lung cancer. A tumor broke one of her ribs, causing much suffering. She came home from the hospital for the last time on January 12, which was a Saturday. On Monday she told me she had a dream in which she saw Jesus surrounded by a white light. He talked to her, but she did not talk to him. I asked her if she was afraid and she said no. I think she wasn't ready to die, or that Jesus was preparing her. I thanked him for that vision. At that time she was fully alert. One day later she was unconscious, but I knew she could still hear all of us who were with her. Two days before she died she was trying to talk. I brushed her hair, bathed her, and put on her makeup. I gave her a kiss and told her I would be right back. When I turned to leave, she said, "I love you." Expecting her eyes to be open, I turned to her, only to find her eyes closed. That was a very precious gift from her. Later that day, I heard her calling out to her deceased brother, Rodwell. I believe, perhaps, he was calling to her. Saturday we gathered by her bedside; I sang "Amazing Grace" and when I finished, she passed away. Peacefully.

I cried every day for two months after that, in the morning, and at noon on my way home for lunch. Every night I would sob myself to sleep. I would say out loud how much I missed her. I ached. I prayed to God every night, "Lord, I know she is with you. I know she is at peace. I only pray that I could feel her peace; then I know I could get better. Amen."

On Saturday, March 31, sometime in the early morning hours, I was in bed in our bedroom which is upstairs in the attic. There is only one window, which faces west. We use blinds for our window treatment and they are closed at night. We get very little light up there. The sun rises in the east and would have come up behind the garage. Yet, as something very powerful completely woke me, I saw a radiant, yellow light (our walls and ceiling are painted off white). The light was everywhere. I was captivated by its beautiful color, and then I realized my mother's presence was in the room. It was so strong. She was everywhere in the light. I was laying on my back with my arms directly at my sides. I lay there with my eyes moving, looking side to side, up and down. I saw my husband sleeping next to me. I wanted to wake him, but couldn't move. Maybe I was afraid this extraordinary moment would go away. I was overwhelmed by the light and her being in my room. All of a sudden, I felt an inner peace flow through me. It started at my feet, and moved slowly throughout my body. It was such a deep, gratifying peace that words are inadequate to describe it. While this was happening, my eyes were gazing through the beautiful glowing light. When it left my body, I remember lying there with a contented smile on my face, knowing my mother was truly at peace. In my mind, I thanked God for this wonderful gift. And that is exactly what it was. Then I rolled over on my left side and went back to sleep.

I have not cried one teardrop since I had this fantastic experience. Yes, I miss my Mamma, but in a different way now. I felt her peace. I met with my pastor and told him of my experience. I said, "If this is what death feels like, then no one should ever be afraid." My pastor said that I had felt the spirit of God move through me, and I must say it was. I was once skeptical when people told about events like this. Now, I rejoice. I believe God wants us to tell others who are grieving that the spirit of God is alive and has not abandoned us. My faith in the Lord has tripled.