The Challenge Of Tough Love
Sermon
We Walk By Faith
Gospel Sermons For Sundays After Pentecost (Middle Third)
The time was November 1930. The place was the Memorial Coliseum in Los Angeles, California. The event was the annual gridiron clash between college football powerhouses, Notre Dame and the University of Southern California. On one side of the field, decorated in cardinal red and gold, stood Howard Jones, the successful and well-respected football coach at USC. On the visitor's side of the field stood Knute Rockne, arguably the most famous football coach of all time. The experts, the oddsmakers, had predicted that the game would not be close; they favored USC by fifteen points.
That year Notre Dame used its famous "box" formation, a version of the old single wing offense. Frank Corridio, the Irish's star quarterback that season, had earned the honored distinction of "All-American." Corridio, however, would not be a major factor in the game. The stars would be two rather unheralded players -- Bucky O'Connor, a third-team halfback, who played only because of injuries to teammates, and Hal "Watch-charm" Metzger, a 165-pound running guard.
The opening play from scrimmage foreshadowed the after-noon's events. O'Connor took a handoff and behind the blocking of Metzger, who hit one man, picked himself up and hit a second and then a third, ran eighty yards for a touchdown. Notre Dame never looked back. When the dust had cleared, the spikes had been hung up, and all the fans had gone home, the scoreboard read, Notre Dame 27, USC 0. The Irish had scored a great victory, an upset. Yet, Notre Dame lost something much greater that day -- Knute Rockne had coached his last game. He would die the next spring on March 31 in an infamous plane crash.
Knute Rockne was a coach; he was a friend. Above all he was a man who loved. Rockne was a winner, the most successful football coach in Notre Dame history. Why was he successful? Certainly he had great players. Rockne coached some of the best players of the day, many of whom, like Frank Corridio and the fabled "Four Horsemen," earned the coveted title of "All-American." Rockne was successful, however, because he was a man who had learned to love in a way that taught responsibility to those under his guidance.
Rockne was often quoted as saying, "People call me a roughneck." In many ways that is exactly what he was. He was strict with his players; he expected them to be in the best mental and physical condition that they could attain. Moreover, Rockne taught his players that football was a team game that was won when players cared for and took responsibility for each other.
At another time Rockne said, "Football teaches responsibility." There is an interconnectedness to the game which teaches responsibility. A third-team halfback and a 165-pound running guard demonstrated such a connectedness that November afternoon in Los Angeles. Rockne demanded a lot from his players. If there was something wrong, he would tell them about it. His direction, his method of coaching, was in a very real way a form of love, a love which taught responsibility, first to self and most especially for others.
Today's Gospel speaks of our need to take responsibility for others as the one debt of love which we owe to all. We are challenged to seek out the person who has strayed from the precepts taught by the Lord and to use fraternal correction when a wrong has been committed. Jesus tells his disciples that there is a need for fraternal correction when a wrong is committed.
Jesus tells us that we need to use proper methods when we correct a person, but in the end we must not fail to act. We must do what is necessary. The Lord also says that we must be decisive in what we do. As he says, "Whatever you hold bound on earth will be bound in heaven. Whatever is loosed on earth will be loosed in heaven." Jesus places an addendum on his teaching in his exhortation to pray and the assurance of God's response. God will never abandon those who call His name, especially when we must make the hard decision to confront or challenge the behavior of another person. It is only through the strength given us by God in prayer that we can do what is necessary, despite its difficulty or distastefulness. Knute Rockne got the most out of his players because he possessed the courage to love them unconditionally. This often meant challenging them to do more, even when something added seemed impossible.
Fraternal correction, challenging others, truly is an act of love, if done properly and with the correct attitude. It is not an act of love that is easily visible, but it is one that is absolutely essential. It is this same love of which Saint Paul writes to the Christian community at Rome, "Owe no one anything, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law" (Romans 13:8). In other words, if we have loved we have paid our debt; we need do nothing more.
Learning to love unconditionally is a great challenge. Some forms of love, such as the Greek concept of eros or romantic love, come quite naturally. Certainly romantic love takes lots of work; it is not easy. But eros is generated by feelings of the heart; it does not come from the brain. Love can and must be deeper and more broad than our feelings alone. Love means being honest. Such integrity might necessitate our separation from an individual, an idea, or a movement which gets us nowhere, at least nowhere that we need or want to be. Honesty might also mean having the courage to challenge someone whom we love very much and to tell that person that there is a problem that needs to be corrected. No one waits for correction, but when it is sent and received in love then an attitude may be transformed, a heart converted, or a life saved.
Tough love is the ability to love unconditionally when it is most difficult. Tough love is when we refuse to accept the excuses of the addict and instead suggest treatment or counseling. Tough love is challenging a young person whose relationships or behavior are problematic or destructive.
Tough love requires the young person to call the authorities and to refuse to abide by a code of silence when classmates or friends break laws or injure people. Tough love in the workplace means drawing the line and refusing to participate in unethical work practices and challenging others to follow your lead. Tough love in general is the challenge to love others unconditionally, even when our actions may be perceived by the subject of our affection to be hurtful to the relationship. We must have the courage at times to say, "It is because I love you that I must correct you."
Unconditional love truly is a responsibility and a challenge. It is not easy to engage others in a confrontative manner, especially in a society which tells us to mind our own business and not get involved. Yet, our readings today tell us that we must be responsible to others, as the only debt of love that we owe. Let us realize that love is much more than flowers sent, kinds words spoken, and signs of affection. In his work as a football coach, Knute Rockne showed tough but unconditional love that taught responsibility. In the process he earned a permanent place in the history of sports. Let us also know that we too must show love and demonstrate it by being responsible for others as well as ourselves so that we also can earn a permanent place in eternity with God.
That year Notre Dame used its famous "box" formation, a version of the old single wing offense. Frank Corridio, the Irish's star quarterback that season, had earned the honored distinction of "All-American." Corridio, however, would not be a major factor in the game. The stars would be two rather unheralded players -- Bucky O'Connor, a third-team halfback, who played only because of injuries to teammates, and Hal "Watch-charm" Metzger, a 165-pound running guard.
The opening play from scrimmage foreshadowed the after-noon's events. O'Connor took a handoff and behind the blocking of Metzger, who hit one man, picked himself up and hit a second and then a third, ran eighty yards for a touchdown. Notre Dame never looked back. When the dust had cleared, the spikes had been hung up, and all the fans had gone home, the scoreboard read, Notre Dame 27, USC 0. The Irish had scored a great victory, an upset. Yet, Notre Dame lost something much greater that day -- Knute Rockne had coached his last game. He would die the next spring on March 31 in an infamous plane crash.
Knute Rockne was a coach; he was a friend. Above all he was a man who loved. Rockne was a winner, the most successful football coach in Notre Dame history. Why was he successful? Certainly he had great players. Rockne coached some of the best players of the day, many of whom, like Frank Corridio and the fabled "Four Horsemen," earned the coveted title of "All-American." Rockne was successful, however, because he was a man who had learned to love in a way that taught responsibility to those under his guidance.
Rockne was often quoted as saying, "People call me a roughneck." In many ways that is exactly what he was. He was strict with his players; he expected them to be in the best mental and physical condition that they could attain. Moreover, Rockne taught his players that football was a team game that was won when players cared for and took responsibility for each other.
At another time Rockne said, "Football teaches responsibility." There is an interconnectedness to the game which teaches responsibility. A third-team halfback and a 165-pound running guard demonstrated such a connectedness that November afternoon in Los Angeles. Rockne demanded a lot from his players. If there was something wrong, he would tell them about it. His direction, his method of coaching, was in a very real way a form of love, a love which taught responsibility, first to self and most especially for others.
Today's Gospel speaks of our need to take responsibility for others as the one debt of love which we owe to all. We are challenged to seek out the person who has strayed from the precepts taught by the Lord and to use fraternal correction when a wrong has been committed. Jesus tells his disciples that there is a need for fraternal correction when a wrong is committed.
Jesus tells us that we need to use proper methods when we correct a person, but in the end we must not fail to act. We must do what is necessary. The Lord also says that we must be decisive in what we do. As he says, "Whatever you hold bound on earth will be bound in heaven. Whatever is loosed on earth will be loosed in heaven." Jesus places an addendum on his teaching in his exhortation to pray and the assurance of God's response. God will never abandon those who call His name, especially when we must make the hard decision to confront or challenge the behavior of another person. It is only through the strength given us by God in prayer that we can do what is necessary, despite its difficulty or distastefulness. Knute Rockne got the most out of his players because he possessed the courage to love them unconditionally. This often meant challenging them to do more, even when something added seemed impossible.
Fraternal correction, challenging others, truly is an act of love, if done properly and with the correct attitude. It is not an act of love that is easily visible, but it is one that is absolutely essential. It is this same love of which Saint Paul writes to the Christian community at Rome, "Owe no one anything, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law" (Romans 13:8). In other words, if we have loved we have paid our debt; we need do nothing more.
Learning to love unconditionally is a great challenge. Some forms of love, such as the Greek concept of eros or romantic love, come quite naturally. Certainly romantic love takes lots of work; it is not easy. But eros is generated by feelings of the heart; it does not come from the brain. Love can and must be deeper and more broad than our feelings alone. Love means being honest. Such integrity might necessitate our separation from an individual, an idea, or a movement which gets us nowhere, at least nowhere that we need or want to be. Honesty might also mean having the courage to challenge someone whom we love very much and to tell that person that there is a problem that needs to be corrected. No one waits for correction, but when it is sent and received in love then an attitude may be transformed, a heart converted, or a life saved.
Tough love is the ability to love unconditionally when it is most difficult. Tough love is when we refuse to accept the excuses of the addict and instead suggest treatment or counseling. Tough love is challenging a young person whose relationships or behavior are problematic or destructive.
Tough love requires the young person to call the authorities and to refuse to abide by a code of silence when classmates or friends break laws or injure people. Tough love in the workplace means drawing the line and refusing to participate in unethical work practices and challenging others to follow your lead. Tough love in general is the challenge to love others unconditionally, even when our actions may be perceived by the subject of our affection to be hurtful to the relationship. We must have the courage at times to say, "It is because I love you that I must correct you."
Unconditional love truly is a responsibility and a challenge. It is not easy to engage others in a confrontative manner, especially in a society which tells us to mind our own business and not get involved. Yet, our readings today tell us that we must be responsible to others, as the only debt of love that we owe. Let us realize that love is much more than flowers sent, kinds words spoken, and signs of affection. In his work as a football coach, Knute Rockne showed tough but unconditional love that taught responsibility. In the process he earned a permanent place in the history of sports. Let us also know that we too must show love and demonstrate it by being responsible for others as well as ourselves so that we also can earn a permanent place in eternity with God.
