Bruce Reed And Demetrius Wick
Drama
Thespian Theology
Advent, Christmas, Epiphany
Thespian Theological Thoughts
"The pun is the lowest form of humor," my mother, God-rest-her-soul, used to say. And then she'd proceed to come out with the most awful puns imaginable.
Maternal heredity is undoubtedly the source of this nasty penchant of mine for the lowest form of humor. But I pray that Jesus the major-league punster will still deliver the message intended by this play: When we are broken, bruised, or burned out spiritually, God won't step on us or toss us aside as worthless trash. He will gently pick us up.
Thank God for the Servant Lord, whose gentleness, encouragement, justice, and truth are always able to pick us up, give us hope, redeem us, and set us free!
Cast
Narrator
Bruce Reed
Demetrius Wick
Voice of Jesus (offstage)
Props/Costumes
Demetrius Wick -- whiskey bottle
(Narrator is at podium, stage left)
Narrator: Today we have for you the story of Bruce Reed and Demetrius Wick. Those of you who are into bad puns may know where we're going with this, especially if you've read Isaiah 42. But please bear with us: We'll get beyond the bad puns to some kind of point ... promise! (Bruce Reed enters stage right) Behold my man, Bruce Reed. Bruce is, to put it charitably, a catastrophe waiting to befall --
Bruce: Hey, whattaya mean by that, bub? I'm gettin' my act together --
Narrator: Has your ex-wife lifted the restraining order yet?
Bruce: Well, no, but I'm workin' on that.
Narrator: Have you paid off your gambling debts?
Bruce: Well, not all of 'em, but I'm makin' some progress ... kinda.
Narrator: Has the Motor Vehicle Division given your license back?
Bruce: No! Them bums at DMV ain't got no compassion, know-what'm-sayin'?
Narrator: Do you have a job, Bruce?
Bruce: Let's say I'm currently unemployed ... but workin' on it.
Narrator: What about a roof over your head, Bruce? It's cold outside!
Bruce: Tell me about it! They threw me outta the Rescue Mission. But I still got my car: an '86 Monte Carlo. That baby's got a big, comfortable back seat!
Narrator: (To audience) As I said, folks: A catastrophe waiting to befall!
Bruce: Aw, what do you know? Gimme a break, okay?
Narrator: It seems to me that lots of folks have given you lots of breaks, Bruce: your long-suffering ex-wife, your many creditors, the DMV, and the Rescue Mission (even if you don't see it). How many more breaks do you expect, Bruce, before you're finally broken?
Bruce: (Puts his head in his hands) Oh, Jesus!
Voice of Jesus: (Offstage) Yes? You called?
Bruce: (Falls to his knees) Is that really you, Jesus?
Voice of Jesus: Sure 'nuff is, Bruce. Did I hear you call me?
Bruce: Well, er ... um ... I guess I did.
Voice of Jesus: I believe you said you needed "a break," Bruce?
Bruce: Well, er ... um ... I guess I did.
Voice of Jesus: Bruce, are you willing to be broken?
Bruce: What do you mean, Lord?
Voice of Jesus: Bruce, if you are willing to admit that you are broken and in need of my help, then I can help you.
Bruce: You can?
Voice of Jesus: Yes, I can. And I can do a lot more than "give you a break," Bruce: I can give you forgiveness and redemption and life everlasting.
Bruce: Wow! What do I have to do, Lord?
Voice of Jesus: Just admit that you're broken, and that you need my help.
Bruce: Oh, Lord, I do! I admit that, on my own, I've made a terrible mess of my life, and I've hurt those I love. I know that I can't make it out of this mess on my own power. I need more than "a break." Come into my life and be my Lord, Jesus!
Voice of Jesus: A Bruce Reed I will not break!
Bruce: (Stands up) Praise the Lord! Thank you, Jesus! (Takes a seat in the front row)
Narrator: Well, that was certainly interesting, wasn't it? Who'd have thought that the Lord Jesus was a major-league punster? (Demetrius Wick enters stage left; he carries a whiskey bottle) Well, what have we here? I believe it's my old friend Demetrius Wick ... better known among the hoi polloi as "Dimmy" Wick. What's up, Dimmy?
Dimmy: Shay what?
Narrator: I said, "What's up with you, Dimmy?"
Dimmy: Oooohhh ... not much. (Sits down heavily)
Narrator: Not much is ever up with our friend Dimmy. What's usually down is whiskey: Down the hatch!
Dimmy: Right you are! (Takes a swig from his bottle)
Narrator: Dimmy, Dimmy, Dimmy: Are you ever gonna be anything but a rummy, my man?
Dimmy: Shay what?
Narrator: Don't you want to do something more with your life than hang around alleyways, drinking cheap booze?
Dimmy: Sure I do. An' some fine day, I'm gonna make a change in my life ... after I have another li'l drink. (Takes another swig from the bottle)
Narrator: Dimmy, don't you know that stuff is killing you?
Dimmy: (Puts his head in his hands) Oh, Jesus!
Voice of Jesus: (Offstage) Yes? You called?
Dimmy: (Goes to his knees and looks up) Is that really you, Jesus?
Voice of Jesus: Sure 'nuff is, Dimmy. Did I hear you call me?
Dimmy: Gee, I dunno. Did I call you? I guess I did. But I never thought you'd answer me!
Voice of Jesus: Well, you called me and I answered you, Dimmy. Now what is it you want, my friend: another drink?
Dimmy: Well, I am awful thirsty, Lord --
Voice of Jesus: Dimmy, I have the water of eternal life; anyone who drinks of this living water will never thirst again.
Dimmy: Water? Par'm me, Lord, but water is only good for washin' yer hands.
Voice of Jesus: Try this living water, Dimmy. You'll never be thirsty again. No more hangovers. No more scrounging through dumpsters for redeemable cans and bottles so you can buy another bottle of whiskey. No more nights in the drunk tank. Think about it, Dimmy: You'll never be thirsty again!
Dimmy: (Stands up, wipes his mouth with his sleeve) Never be thirsty again? Man, I can't imagine that: I've been thirsty all my life!
Voice of Jesus: You never have to be thirsty again, Dimmy.
Dimmy: Man, that'd be nice! What I gotta do, Jesus?
Voice of Jesus: Just turn everything over to me, Dimmy.
Dimmy: Everything?
Voice of Jesus: Everything: Your thirst for whiskey, your need to get high, your greed and self-centeredness. Turn it all over to me. Admit that you have sinned, and that you need my help to satisfy your thirst for righteousness --
Dimmy: Righteousness? Me? Dimmy Wick, righteous?
Voice of Jesus: Yes, Dimmy. Your righteousness is in me. And the end of your thirst is found in my way, my truth, and my life. I am the Lord. I have called you in righteousness.
Dimmy: Wow, Dimmy Wick the righteous! Ain't that some thought? Well, it can't hurt to give it a try. It's gotta be better than dumpster-diving for chump change! (Kneels) Lord, I've made a mess of my life with boozing and brawling! I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. (Wipes his brow) All of a sudden, I'm starting to burn up. Do I have a fever, or what? Help me, Lord Jesus: I'm thirsty for your righteousness! Be my Lord, Jesus!
Voice of Jesus: A Dimmy burning Wick I will not quench.
Dimmy: Praise the Lord! Thank you, Jesus!
(Bruce stands up and joins Dimmy at center stage)
Bruce/Dimmy: A bruised reed he will not break,
and a dimly burning wick he will not quench.
He will faithfully bring forth justice ...
Thus says God, the Lord, who created
the heavens and stretched them out:
"I am the Lord, I have called you in righteousness,
I have taken you by the hand and kept you."
Praise the Lord!
(Bruce and Dimmy bow and exit)
"The pun is the lowest form of humor," my mother, God-rest-her-soul, used to say. And then she'd proceed to come out with the most awful puns imaginable.
Maternal heredity is undoubtedly the source of this nasty penchant of mine for the lowest form of humor. But I pray that Jesus the major-league punster will still deliver the message intended by this play: When we are broken, bruised, or burned out spiritually, God won't step on us or toss us aside as worthless trash. He will gently pick us up.
Thank God for the Servant Lord, whose gentleness, encouragement, justice, and truth are always able to pick us up, give us hope, redeem us, and set us free!
Cast
Narrator
Bruce Reed
Demetrius Wick
Voice of Jesus (offstage)
Props/Costumes
Demetrius Wick -- whiskey bottle
(Narrator is at podium, stage left)
Narrator: Today we have for you the story of Bruce Reed and Demetrius Wick. Those of you who are into bad puns may know where we're going with this, especially if you've read Isaiah 42. But please bear with us: We'll get beyond the bad puns to some kind of point ... promise! (Bruce Reed enters stage right) Behold my man, Bruce Reed. Bruce is, to put it charitably, a catastrophe waiting to befall --
Bruce: Hey, whattaya mean by that, bub? I'm gettin' my act together --
Narrator: Has your ex-wife lifted the restraining order yet?
Bruce: Well, no, but I'm workin' on that.
Narrator: Have you paid off your gambling debts?
Bruce: Well, not all of 'em, but I'm makin' some progress ... kinda.
Narrator: Has the Motor Vehicle Division given your license back?
Bruce: No! Them bums at DMV ain't got no compassion, know-what'm-sayin'?
Narrator: Do you have a job, Bruce?
Bruce: Let's say I'm currently unemployed ... but workin' on it.
Narrator: What about a roof over your head, Bruce? It's cold outside!
Bruce: Tell me about it! They threw me outta the Rescue Mission. But I still got my car: an '86 Monte Carlo. That baby's got a big, comfortable back seat!
Narrator: (To audience) As I said, folks: A catastrophe waiting to befall!
Bruce: Aw, what do you know? Gimme a break, okay?
Narrator: It seems to me that lots of folks have given you lots of breaks, Bruce: your long-suffering ex-wife, your many creditors, the DMV, and the Rescue Mission (even if you don't see it). How many more breaks do you expect, Bruce, before you're finally broken?
Bruce: (Puts his head in his hands) Oh, Jesus!
Voice of Jesus: (Offstage) Yes? You called?
Bruce: (Falls to his knees) Is that really you, Jesus?
Voice of Jesus: Sure 'nuff is, Bruce. Did I hear you call me?
Bruce: Well, er ... um ... I guess I did.
Voice of Jesus: I believe you said you needed "a break," Bruce?
Bruce: Well, er ... um ... I guess I did.
Voice of Jesus: Bruce, are you willing to be broken?
Bruce: What do you mean, Lord?
Voice of Jesus: Bruce, if you are willing to admit that you are broken and in need of my help, then I can help you.
Bruce: You can?
Voice of Jesus: Yes, I can. And I can do a lot more than "give you a break," Bruce: I can give you forgiveness and redemption and life everlasting.
Bruce: Wow! What do I have to do, Lord?
Voice of Jesus: Just admit that you're broken, and that you need my help.
Bruce: Oh, Lord, I do! I admit that, on my own, I've made a terrible mess of my life, and I've hurt those I love. I know that I can't make it out of this mess on my own power. I need more than "a break." Come into my life and be my Lord, Jesus!
Voice of Jesus: A Bruce Reed I will not break!
Bruce: (Stands up) Praise the Lord! Thank you, Jesus! (Takes a seat in the front row)
Narrator: Well, that was certainly interesting, wasn't it? Who'd have thought that the Lord Jesus was a major-league punster? (Demetrius Wick enters stage left; he carries a whiskey bottle) Well, what have we here? I believe it's my old friend Demetrius Wick ... better known among the hoi polloi as "Dimmy" Wick. What's up, Dimmy?
Dimmy: Shay what?
Narrator: I said, "What's up with you, Dimmy?"
Dimmy: Oooohhh ... not much. (Sits down heavily)
Narrator: Not much is ever up with our friend Dimmy. What's usually down is whiskey: Down the hatch!
Dimmy: Right you are! (Takes a swig from his bottle)
Narrator: Dimmy, Dimmy, Dimmy: Are you ever gonna be anything but a rummy, my man?
Dimmy: Shay what?
Narrator: Don't you want to do something more with your life than hang around alleyways, drinking cheap booze?
Dimmy: Sure I do. An' some fine day, I'm gonna make a change in my life ... after I have another li'l drink. (Takes another swig from the bottle)
Narrator: Dimmy, don't you know that stuff is killing you?
Dimmy: (Puts his head in his hands) Oh, Jesus!
Voice of Jesus: (Offstage) Yes? You called?
Dimmy: (Goes to his knees and looks up) Is that really you, Jesus?
Voice of Jesus: Sure 'nuff is, Dimmy. Did I hear you call me?
Dimmy: Gee, I dunno. Did I call you? I guess I did. But I never thought you'd answer me!
Voice of Jesus: Well, you called me and I answered you, Dimmy. Now what is it you want, my friend: another drink?
Dimmy: Well, I am awful thirsty, Lord --
Voice of Jesus: Dimmy, I have the water of eternal life; anyone who drinks of this living water will never thirst again.
Dimmy: Water? Par'm me, Lord, but water is only good for washin' yer hands.
Voice of Jesus: Try this living water, Dimmy. You'll never be thirsty again. No more hangovers. No more scrounging through dumpsters for redeemable cans and bottles so you can buy another bottle of whiskey. No more nights in the drunk tank. Think about it, Dimmy: You'll never be thirsty again!
Dimmy: (Stands up, wipes his mouth with his sleeve) Never be thirsty again? Man, I can't imagine that: I've been thirsty all my life!
Voice of Jesus: You never have to be thirsty again, Dimmy.
Dimmy: Man, that'd be nice! What I gotta do, Jesus?
Voice of Jesus: Just turn everything over to me, Dimmy.
Dimmy: Everything?
Voice of Jesus: Everything: Your thirst for whiskey, your need to get high, your greed and self-centeredness. Turn it all over to me. Admit that you have sinned, and that you need my help to satisfy your thirst for righteousness --
Dimmy: Righteousness? Me? Dimmy Wick, righteous?
Voice of Jesus: Yes, Dimmy. Your righteousness is in me. And the end of your thirst is found in my way, my truth, and my life. I am the Lord. I have called you in righteousness.
Dimmy: Wow, Dimmy Wick the righteous! Ain't that some thought? Well, it can't hurt to give it a try. It's gotta be better than dumpster-diving for chump change! (Kneels) Lord, I've made a mess of my life with boozing and brawling! I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. (Wipes his brow) All of a sudden, I'm starting to burn up. Do I have a fever, or what? Help me, Lord Jesus: I'm thirsty for your righteousness! Be my Lord, Jesus!
Voice of Jesus: A Dimmy burning Wick I will not quench.
Dimmy: Praise the Lord! Thank you, Jesus!
(Bruce stands up and joins Dimmy at center stage)
Bruce/Dimmy: A bruised reed he will not break,
and a dimly burning wick he will not quench.
He will faithfully bring forth justice ...
Thus says God, the Lord, who created
the heavens and stretched them out:
"I am the Lord, I have called you in righteousness,
I have taken you by the hand and kept you."
Praise the Lord!
(Bruce and Dimmy bow and exit)

