God, You're Just Politically Incorrect!
Drama
ThespianTheology
Lent/Easter
This may not be a popular play. So be it.
In the parable of the vineyard, I hear Jesus telling the scribes and priests (and you and me) that we must always be alert to the possibility that "the stone that makes men stumble" is in our very midst. And that this chief cornerstone often stands for things which we find uncomfortable: things that challenge our understanding of the way the world ought to be.
Jesus, you're politically incorrect ... know-what'm sayin'?
Cast
Narrator
Man Of God
Members of PICCI:
Harriet Harassment
Tommy Tolerance
Teresa Tolerance
Whitney Whatever
Props/Costumes
4 chairs
Easel sign: PICCI
4 small pieces of white picket fence
Harriet -- t-shirt: SHOUT
Tommy/Teresa -- t-shirts: WHINE
Whitney -- t-shirt: YAP/NIP
(Narrator is at podium, stage left. Four chairs are lined up center stage. Easel with sign: PICCI is stage right of chairs. Small pieces of white picket fence are on the floor at center stage)
Narrator: A parable for our times ...
(Man Of God enters down center aisle; he stops downstage left)
Narrator: Once-upon-a-time, a Man Of God was sent to live among us -- to teach, to heal, to show us how to live a godly life, and to save us from our own obvious unrighteousness ...
(Members of PICCI enter from left and right and sit in chairs)
Narrator: Very quickly, the Man Of God ran afoul of the influential Politically Incorrect Correction Committee International -- PICCI (Pronounces it "picky") who took offense at almost everything the Man Of God said and did ...
Man Of God: I give you a new commandment, that you love one another --
(Harriet Harassment stands up, and picks up a piece of fence)
Harriet: (Shouts) I'm Harriet Harassment, representing SHOUT -- Sexual Harassment Outrages Us Totally ... and I take offense at that! (Hits the Man Of God on the head with the fence) What does he mean by "love"? Is this a sexual thing, or what? I take offense! (Sits down)
(Man Of God moves to stage right)
Man Of God: I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me --
(Tommy and Teresa Tolerance stand up and pick up pieces of fence)
Tommy: I'm Tommy Tolerance,
Teresa: And I'm Teresa Tolerance ...
Tommy: We represent WHINE --
Teresa: We Hate Intolerance Now and Evermore ...
Tommy: And we take offense at that. (Tommy and Teresa hit the Man Of God on the head with the fence)
Teresa: Where do you get off saying that you are the only way to God? How intolerant!
Tommy: Yeah! What about our brothers and sisters at the Church of the Eternal Incandescence? Shouldn't they be free to worship their light bulb?
Tommy/Teresa: We take offense ... Harrumph, indeed! (They sit)
(Man Of God moves to stage left)
Man Of God: Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect --
(Whitney Whatever stands up, and picks up a piece of fence)
Whitney: I am Whitney Whatever, representing YAP/NIP: You Aren't Perfect/Nobody Is Perfect ... and I take offense at that! (Hits the Man Of God on the head with the fence) So-called "perfection" is an artificial and unrealistic construct, and holding anyone up to such a standard is cruel and unusual punishment ... You should be ashamed of yourself! "Be perfect," indeed ... harrumph! (Sits down)
(Man Of God moves to center stage)
Narrator: Everywhere he turned, the Man Of God ran afoul of the guardians of political correctness ... Even when he healed people, the P.C. police got him for working on the Sabbath without a license! Finally, the Man Of God's political incorrectness got him in trouble with the oh-so-correct religious establishment ...
(PICCI Committee members stand up, pick up fences, and beat the Man Of God until he falls down. Committee members return to their seats)
Narrator: ... And the Man Of God was put to death.
(Harriet Harassment stands up)
Harriet: Well, I'm glad we got rid of that sexist pig! (Starts to exit down the center aisle, but trips over the Man Of God and falls down in a heap)
(Tommy and Teresa Tolerance stand up)
Tommy: Yes, indeed! We got rid of that intolerant bigot!
Teresa: Good riddance to bad rubbish, I say! (Tommy and Teresa start to exit down the center aisle, but they trip over the Man Of God and fall down in a heap)
(Whitney Whatever stands up)
Whitney: So much for that judgmental nincompoop ... "Be perfect," indeed ... harrumph! (Starts to exit down the center aisle, but trips over the Man Of God and falls down in a heap)
(Man Of God stands up. Narrator joins him at center stage)
Man Of God: The stone that the builders rejected has become the chief cornerstone. Everyone who falls on that stone will be broken to pieces; and it will crush anyone on whom it falls.
Narrator: Let anyone with ears listen!
In the parable of the vineyard, I hear Jesus telling the scribes and priests (and you and me) that we must always be alert to the possibility that "the stone that makes men stumble" is in our very midst. And that this chief cornerstone often stands for things which we find uncomfortable: things that challenge our understanding of the way the world ought to be.
Jesus, you're politically incorrect ... know-what'm sayin'?
Cast
Narrator
Man Of God
Members of PICCI:
Harriet Harassment
Tommy Tolerance
Teresa Tolerance
Whitney Whatever
Props/Costumes
4 chairs
Easel sign: PICCI
4 small pieces of white picket fence
Harriet -- t-shirt: SHOUT
Tommy/Teresa -- t-shirts: WHINE
Whitney -- t-shirt: YAP/NIP
(Narrator is at podium, stage left. Four chairs are lined up center stage. Easel with sign: PICCI is stage right of chairs. Small pieces of white picket fence are on the floor at center stage)
Narrator: A parable for our times ...
(Man Of God enters down center aisle; he stops downstage left)
Narrator: Once-upon-a-time, a Man Of God was sent to live among us -- to teach, to heal, to show us how to live a godly life, and to save us from our own obvious unrighteousness ...
(Members of PICCI enter from left and right and sit in chairs)
Narrator: Very quickly, the Man Of God ran afoul of the influential Politically Incorrect Correction Committee International -- PICCI (Pronounces it "picky") who took offense at almost everything the Man Of God said and did ...
Man Of God: I give you a new commandment, that you love one another --
(Harriet Harassment stands up, and picks up a piece of fence)
Harriet: (Shouts) I'm Harriet Harassment, representing SHOUT -- Sexual Harassment Outrages Us Totally ... and I take offense at that! (Hits the Man Of God on the head with the fence) What does he mean by "love"? Is this a sexual thing, or what? I take offense! (Sits down)
(Man Of God moves to stage right)
Man Of God: I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me --
(Tommy and Teresa Tolerance stand up and pick up pieces of fence)
Tommy: I'm Tommy Tolerance,
Teresa: And I'm Teresa Tolerance ...
Tommy: We represent WHINE --
Teresa: We Hate Intolerance Now and Evermore ...
Tommy: And we take offense at that. (Tommy and Teresa hit the Man Of God on the head with the fence)
Teresa: Where do you get off saying that you are the only way to God? How intolerant!
Tommy: Yeah! What about our brothers and sisters at the Church of the Eternal Incandescence? Shouldn't they be free to worship their light bulb?
Tommy/Teresa: We take offense ... Harrumph, indeed! (They sit)
(Man Of God moves to stage left)
Man Of God: Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect --
(Whitney Whatever stands up, and picks up a piece of fence)
Whitney: I am Whitney Whatever, representing YAP/NIP: You Aren't Perfect/Nobody Is Perfect ... and I take offense at that! (Hits the Man Of God on the head with the fence) So-called "perfection" is an artificial and unrealistic construct, and holding anyone up to such a standard is cruel and unusual punishment ... You should be ashamed of yourself! "Be perfect," indeed ... harrumph! (Sits down)
(Man Of God moves to center stage)
Narrator: Everywhere he turned, the Man Of God ran afoul of the guardians of political correctness ... Even when he healed people, the P.C. police got him for working on the Sabbath without a license! Finally, the Man Of God's political incorrectness got him in trouble with the oh-so-correct religious establishment ...
(PICCI Committee members stand up, pick up fences, and beat the Man Of God until he falls down. Committee members return to their seats)
Narrator: ... And the Man Of God was put to death.
(Harriet Harassment stands up)
Harriet: Well, I'm glad we got rid of that sexist pig! (Starts to exit down the center aisle, but trips over the Man Of God and falls down in a heap)
(Tommy and Teresa Tolerance stand up)
Tommy: Yes, indeed! We got rid of that intolerant bigot!
Teresa: Good riddance to bad rubbish, I say! (Tommy and Teresa start to exit down the center aisle, but they trip over the Man Of God and fall down in a heap)
(Whitney Whatever stands up)
Whitney: So much for that judgmental nincompoop ... "Be perfect," indeed ... harrumph! (Starts to exit down the center aisle, but trips over the Man Of God and falls down in a heap)
(Man Of God stands up. Narrator joins him at center stage)
Man Of God: The stone that the builders rejected has become the chief cornerstone. Everyone who falls on that stone will be broken to pieces; and it will crush anyone on whom it falls.
Narrator: Let anyone with ears listen!

