Learning from cancer
Commentary
For the past seven years, cancer has been part of my journey. On the day before Christmas Eve, 1998, I was operated on for colon cancer. One more colon resection, two liver operations, experimental drugs, radiation, and somewhere close to a million dollars later and I am still here. Right now, I function in a near-normal region and the idea of renewing journal subscriptions or writing for them for at least the next two years is not an irresponsible act. We can even talk at a meaningful level of something that looks like a cure.
Part of the process involves the occasional surrender of privacy and any shred of dignity. I have been poked and probed and examined from every direction imaginable. Fundamentally, there have been three methods of determining where we are. The CAT scan is a very upscale x-ray, the PET scan uses a radioactive isotope, and the CEA blood level indicates what level of anti-cancer enzyme my body is producing. The x-ray scan gives us an anatomical picture; the PET scan shows the level of cancer cell activity. The CEA shows the level of my body's response to what is going on. The more my body responds, the more we know what is going on.
It seems the church could use something similar: a quick scan to give a big picture of what is there, a measure of activity, and a measure of responsiveness to what is going on in the world. In the three texts for this Sunday we are given some indicators of what we are to watch for, what activity is among us, and just how responsive we are to what is going on in the world. The passage in Acts gives an indication of how healing might be an indicator of faith. One of the things to remember in the cancer business is that this is only one indicator. I have had the experience of one scan showing something while the other measure indicated nothing. The passage from 1 John indicates somewhat of an anatomical measure. We have a snapshot of where things are today but no indicator of what will exactly happen or how we are responding. The pericope from Luke shows how the early community responded to the events of Holy Week, but it is far from clear as to what all this means or where it may be headed.
Of course, no single measure will give the complete picture that might lead to the desired outcome. Neither is any of this an exact science. Any of the diagnostic procedures have the potential to be set off by something else. This feels much like the challenge ahead for any reader of scripture; any piece of scripture taken in isolation can give a false lead. Indeed, some of scripture seems to have been set off by cultural considerations of their time in a way that might condone slavery, oppress women, and justify domestic violence. My oncologist often seems to intuitively weave things together based on his experience: even to the point of knowing what is going on before the high-tech machines can discover it.
On the other hand, as it is well known, the treatments for cancer can often feel worse than the disease. In my own case this has not been so. With modern medicine the side effects have been greatly diminished. However, there is often the curious bodily response. My current round of chemo includes a pill that has made me the hit of the youth group by giving me acne. No one knows why it does this. Sometimes, the side effects of being church can feel like having a prickly rash. The scientists have found that the more rash there is, the more the body is responding in a positive manner. The response of the body of Christ might be something like a rash when we face conflict, shaky nerves about the future, and theological challenges of the present. It could be a sign as well that we do have the big picture in focus as we scan the horizon.
Acts 3:12-19
As a cancer survivor, I approach any text involving healing with a great deal of fear and trepidation. So much harm can be done so easily. We can fall all too readily to inferring that people are not cured because of their lack of faith or that they are somehow, through their faithlessness, responsible for the illnesses that have befallen them. Even as one who I think has his theological head screwed on straight I can be swept up in such feelings. I suspect that this is because, if Elizabeth Kübler-Ross is right in her understanding of grief and loss, we are naturally swept toward such feelings. If we go through the stage of bargaining for our survival, what do we have to bargain with but the promise that we will do or be better? This pit of the metabolic activity is not picked up on the usual scans. Yet, as I scan this text I do find solace and wisdom. Peter asks, "You Israelites, why do you wonder at this, or why do you stare at us, as though by our own power or piety we had made him walk?" Well, this is good news. If there is any walking to take place here it is not the result of human effort. After proclaiming that God has glorified Jesus' name he says that, "And by faith in his name, his name itself has made this man strong, whom you see and know; and the faith that is through Jesus has given him this perfect health in the presence of all of you." We are told that the man has been lame from birth. Peter and John encounter him begging for alms at the entrance to the temple. He is confronted by the fact that Peter and John have neither gold nor silver but what they do have they will give in the name of Jesus. In a sense, he receives more than he bargained for and a life that will now glorify God.
As I scan my own cancer experience, I find myself being given more than I had bargained for. In the bargaining stage of things I would settle for some thing of gold or silver proportions. One bargains for more years to one's life rather than, as the television commercial has it, more life to whatever number of years one may have. I have received more than I bargained for. I am a better, wiser, and more prayerful pastor. I believe I am a more decent, loving human being. I build bridges more easily. Having done the cancer business for seven years I am a nonanxious presence in more places than I thought possible and have experienced more care and support than I could have ever imagined. I find myself wanting to join with the man lame from birth in leaping and praising God. In a sense, I am no longer such a lame human being. I can stride into more situations more confidently than I thought I ever could.
At this point in my life, the scans show little cancer activity. "And by faith in his name, his name itself has made this man strong, whom you see and know; and the faith that is through Jesus has given him this perfect health in the presence of all of you." As I scan my life, I find the activity of God.
Of course, the result is not always entirely unvarnished success. One of the themes of the book of Acts is that there are many who will want to use the power of God to advance their own aims. Demetrius, the silversmith, has an ongoing concern in making a profit out of religion. Simon Magus is willing to put out upfront money for the power offered in the Holy Spirit. Yes, I know what it is like to see people look on me with amazement. Having gone through this, folks don't quite know what to do with you, and listen to you with more attentiveness than you are used to or deserve. Often folks reject out of hand the holy and righteous one as the source of my level of health. Some do because out of ignorance they do not have a theology that can put such experiences into context. Many out of ignorance head for the exit at the thought of there being any faith/health connection. Some out of ignorance search for some rational explanation that they can apply to their lives. As I scan my life, all I can say is that if I am not limping through a lame life it is because it was a gift from a hand much larger than my own.
1 John 3:1-7
An MRI or a CAT scan can tell you something of how things are, but very little of how things might be. Occasionally, in my own experience, what will show up on a CAT scan will not show up on a PET scan. A CAT scan gives an anatomical picture but gives no indication of what kind of activity may be taking place. A surgeon who operates in the here-and-now needs more than a picture of how things are going to be. "Beloved, we are God's children now; what we will be has not yet been revealed." This is a truth that does require a deep scan to discover. The letter writer's community focuses on a realized eschatology that will enable them to operate in a very difficult present. It must not have been easy in John's community to make such a claim. We know that one of the themes of this community was the experience of being separated from the larger Jewish community. One wonders how many of John's people heard words like, "You are no son or daughter of mine as long as you fool with that stupid Jesus business. Do you hear me? If you go with them then you might as well keep on going for you have no home here." The promise in the Gospel of John that the community would not be left orphaned must have meant a great deal to people who were facing angry family and friends. "See what love the Father has given us that we should be called children of God; and that is what we are. The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him." Survey the situation and see that rejection and hostility abounds. However take a deeper scan and you will find a different reality.
The letter writer concludes that the root cause of the rejection of their true identity is not anything that the members of the faith community have done to bring this about. "The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him." In the modern context the statement, "That in him there is no sin" is bound to raise the level of skepticism. Neither are people likely to be less dubious about claims that no one who abides in him sins. Such claims are likely to meet with rejection.
However, it seems today that it is not that we meet rejection because the world does not know Jesus. Indeed, the world often seems to be fascinated and longing for understanding about Jesus. For years the undergraduate course at Harvard University that had the highest registrations was an exploration of Jesus' life and teaching. It seems that today it is the other way around: that many do not want to know Jesus because of what they think they know of his church.
Indeed, how can they know him if we do not act like his children? How can they know him if we engage in red state/blue state bloodletting that leaves many of us wounded? How can they know him, if we play in a way that turns our interactions more into competition than collaboration? How will they know him if we think we do not believe that we should as children grow in wisdom and in stature? How can they know him if we seek worldly wisdom more than childlike faith? The words of verse 10, "The children of God and the children of the devil are revealed in this way: all who do not do what is right are not from God, nor are those who do not love their brothers and sisters" tie together the being a child of God with the ability to do right. How can we do right if we are more interested in doing battle?
The CAT scan may not reveal the way things will go, but it can reveal the way things are.
Luke 24:36b-48
The CEA blood level measures the response of the body to disease. As Luke scans the horizon, he gives an indication of how the post-Easter community was responding to the ministry, death, and resurrection of Jesus. Here we have the story of the gathering of the community in Jerusalem. Absent the presence of the risen Christ, the community is now gathered in fear. The reader is reminded of how the community is found in John's Gospel with doors sealed for fear of what may happen next. Fear characterizes much of the initial response of the early church to its new situation. This is a natural response of the body when it feels itself under threat. The adrenalin begins to pump, the veins contract, the muscles stiffen, and the protective response kicks in. Interestingly enough, often this reaction turns out to be the least helpful to a challenge ahead. "They were startled and terrified, and thought that they were seeing a ghost. He said to them, 'Why are you frightened, and why do doubts arise in your hearts?' " They may not have fears because they have doubts but doubts because they have fears. When a burn patient is in recovery, the doctors must be careful that the protective tissue does not heal before the connective tissue that is at the deeper level. A person on crutches is told to relax if they begin to fall because if they tighten up and become rigid, they are likely to do serious damage. When a person has a heart attack, the initial panic response often causes the blood vessels to constrict in a way that will cause further damage.
Fear and flight come as a deep primal response to danger. However, our fear often puts us at greater risk. Jesus invites the disciples to take another reading of the situation. "Look at my hands and my feet; see that it is I myself. Touch me and see; for a ghost does not have flesh and bones as you see that I have." In a way, take a reading on your own wounds. Have they not also been opportunities for growth, bridges to others, and better self-understanding? How often have stumbling blocks become building blocks of the kingdom of God? God's purposes do not always seem to be contingent on our successfulness. My comfort zone and my capacity for compassion are not always concentric spheres. I take a scan of my life and there is much evidence of the pathology that leads to the primal primitive fear response. I have a quick response to Jesus' question, "Why are you afraid?" Yes, it often seems that we are more haunted by our past than helped by it. Yet, while the past cannot be forgotten, dismissed, or repressed it can be redeemed and made a tool of healing. Why do fear and doubts arise? Why do we allow a primitive response to get ahead of a more fully developed realization of what God is up to in our lives?
This text gives much evidence that the body of Christ began to give a more healthy response in light of the events of Holy Week and Easter morn. We find them gathered at a common meal. The breaking of bread together became a key to the breaking down of fear, estrangement, and hopelessness. The Emmaus pilgrims tell of how Jesus was made known in the breaking of the bread. The community found themselves having their minds open to understanding scripture in light of the Easter event. This new understanding will help their immune system to ward off the primitive fear response that leads to using scripture as a weapon to hurt and build barriers between people. The scriptures even recount a physical symptom to this immune response. They said to each other, "Were not our hearts burning within us while he was talking to us on the road, while he was opening the scriptures to us?"
Luke is interested in having the big picture. We are given a reading here that in table fellowship with Jesus, eating right, and with a burning sensation that indicates health, not infection, they are ready to journey to proclaim repentance and forgiveness of sins to all nations and to be witnesses of these things.
Application
The texts agree in taking as their focus not the well-being of the individual but the condition of the community. The health of the individual will be arrived at through the well-being of the community. The book of Acts tells the tale that for Luke the community shares all things in common and warns those who hold back from the commitment. When it comes to basic biology in an age when we are aware that potential pandemics could sweep the planet, we are more prone to accept this truth. However, it often seems that American religion is inordinately focused on individual fate. Having spent a good part of the last seven years waiting for various scans, I have found that much of the time spent waiting comes from the need to recalibrate the machines for the right organ study. These texts invite us to recalibrate our thinking in community terms. In our context and community can we name the activity of God in our midst? I doubt this can come without community conversation about our common life. I suspect that if we scanned any congregation we would find an immense amount of health that can only be attributed to the presence and power of God. In our day and age, what gets us through the tight spots of conflict and change?
I suspect that much of the road rage level of conflict that I find on internet forums and in the press comes from places of guilt, shame, and feelings of being abandoned that we have not scanned for. Such a scan might reveal that we are a lot closer together than we know or perhaps care to admit.
I wonder to what degree my church is driven by table fellowship with Jesus and a reading of scripture that is driven more by the mind of Christ and less by ideological mindlessness. We need to take a reading of our common life for the healthy levels of response to the events of Holy Week and Easter.
An Alternative Application
Acts 3:12-19. Ignorance! How dare anyone say that I operate out of ignorance? Who does Peter think he is that he should say such a thing? Repent of ignorance? Pardon me? I will not go there! While my first reaction is to feel offended, once my anger has blown out to sea, I begin to wonder how this applies to me and my church. Perhaps the real axis of evil is the combination of ignorance and arrogance that flows in its wake. When I begin to reflect, I realize how many images of people I carry around that bear little relationship to who they really are. I operate on first impressions too easily formed. No real human being could ever be reducible to the simple characterizations I have of them. I do crucify out of ignorance. Can any human being be as uncomplicated as my take on the motivations of red state and blue state people?
I don't take Saint Paul at his word when he wrote to the Romans, "behold I show you a mystery." I have found myself falling into the habit of experiencing people as something to be explained rather than as a mystery to be cherished, or honored, or cultivated. I come to believe people's reality actually does conform to all my psychological and theological theories. Too often, life becomes tactical rather than relational. Ignorance does not stop me from crucifying.
This is bad enough when it is done to people. I suspect that we become a one-person axis of evil when we think of God as something to be nailed down more than as something that opens us up.
Preaching The Psalm
Psalm 4
A great piece of advice was once offered by a sage, elder pastor. "It's okay," he said, "even necessary, to acknowledge our feelings and to work through them. But it is unwise, especially when we are angry or upset, to act out of those emotions." This one hits close to home. Over more than two decades in the pastorate, this writer has witnessed the destruction and even death caused by people who have made decisions or taken actions when they are in the throes of anger or beset by depression.
"When you are disturbed, do not sin" (v. 4).
There are many times in the course of our days that we find ourselves caught in the snares of anger. There are times, too, when the dark sides of our souls hold sway and we are caught in the maze of depression. Not to be flip, but this is life. The trick, for so many of us, is not so much to avoid these circumstances, but to be able to navigate the shoals of our emotional landscape without hurting ourselves or others in the process. In other words, we need to learn not to sin when we are "disturbed."
The writer of this psalm seems to have stumbled upon something here. He is clearly disturbed. But he turns to a God who cuts him some slack. "You gave me room when I was in distress." God is a good place for us to go when life seizes us in this way. If we must rail against our fate, shake our fists in anger, then God -- it seems -- can take it.
"God is a shield for all those who take refuge in him" (2 Samuel 22:31). The old Luther hymn comes to mind here. "A mighty fortress is our God...." In a time when people are widely encouraged to let it all out, it can be easy to lose track of the need for self-control and restraint. Indeed, it's possible to work through feelings in a healthy way without spewing the baggage of those emotions on unsuspecting and innocent bystanders. And for us, this avenue lies in taking our anger, our depression, our "disturbed" hearts to God. In prayer, in discernment, in quiet time with our Savior, it is possible to sort out the storms that beset our hearts. In the quiet space we take to be alone with God, we can separate out our feelings from the decisions we make and the actions we take.
Will we still need the help of our pastors, of therapists, and of other people whose work is centered in helping us in these arenas? Certainly. But do we need God in these moments as well? Absolutely. Perhaps, as we move through the rocky paths that come to us on our journey, we will learn how to reach for God while we seek the help we need from those God has placed in our path.
Part of the process involves the occasional surrender of privacy and any shred of dignity. I have been poked and probed and examined from every direction imaginable. Fundamentally, there have been three methods of determining where we are. The CAT scan is a very upscale x-ray, the PET scan uses a radioactive isotope, and the CEA blood level indicates what level of anti-cancer enzyme my body is producing. The x-ray scan gives us an anatomical picture; the PET scan shows the level of cancer cell activity. The CEA shows the level of my body's response to what is going on. The more my body responds, the more we know what is going on.
It seems the church could use something similar: a quick scan to give a big picture of what is there, a measure of activity, and a measure of responsiveness to what is going on in the world. In the three texts for this Sunday we are given some indicators of what we are to watch for, what activity is among us, and just how responsive we are to what is going on in the world. The passage in Acts gives an indication of how healing might be an indicator of faith. One of the things to remember in the cancer business is that this is only one indicator. I have had the experience of one scan showing something while the other measure indicated nothing. The passage from 1 John indicates somewhat of an anatomical measure. We have a snapshot of where things are today but no indicator of what will exactly happen or how we are responding. The pericope from Luke shows how the early community responded to the events of Holy Week, but it is far from clear as to what all this means or where it may be headed.
Of course, no single measure will give the complete picture that might lead to the desired outcome. Neither is any of this an exact science. Any of the diagnostic procedures have the potential to be set off by something else. This feels much like the challenge ahead for any reader of scripture; any piece of scripture taken in isolation can give a false lead. Indeed, some of scripture seems to have been set off by cultural considerations of their time in a way that might condone slavery, oppress women, and justify domestic violence. My oncologist often seems to intuitively weave things together based on his experience: even to the point of knowing what is going on before the high-tech machines can discover it.
On the other hand, as it is well known, the treatments for cancer can often feel worse than the disease. In my own case this has not been so. With modern medicine the side effects have been greatly diminished. However, there is often the curious bodily response. My current round of chemo includes a pill that has made me the hit of the youth group by giving me acne. No one knows why it does this. Sometimes, the side effects of being church can feel like having a prickly rash. The scientists have found that the more rash there is, the more the body is responding in a positive manner. The response of the body of Christ might be something like a rash when we face conflict, shaky nerves about the future, and theological challenges of the present. It could be a sign as well that we do have the big picture in focus as we scan the horizon.
Acts 3:12-19
As a cancer survivor, I approach any text involving healing with a great deal of fear and trepidation. So much harm can be done so easily. We can fall all too readily to inferring that people are not cured because of their lack of faith or that they are somehow, through their faithlessness, responsible for the illnesses that have befallen them. Even as one who I think has his theological head screwed on straight I can be swept up in such feelings. I suspect that this is because, if Elizabeth Kübler-Ross is right in her understanding of grief and loss, we are naturally swept toward such feelings. If we go through the stage of bargaining for our survival, what do we have to bargain with but the promise that we will do or be better? This pit of the metabolic activity is not picked up on the usual scans. Yet, as I scan this text I do find solace and wisdom. Peter asks, "You Israelites, why do you wonder at this, or why do you stare at us, as though by our own power or piety we had made him walk?" Well, this is good news. If there is any walking to take place here it is not the result of human effort. After proclaiming that God has glorified Jesus' name he says that, "And by faith in his name, his name itself has made this man strong, whom you see and know; and the faith that is through Jesus has given him this perfect health in the presence of all of you." We are told that the man has been lame from birth. Peter and John encounter him begging for alms at the entrance to the temple. He is confronted by the fact that Peter and John have neither gold nor silver but what they do have they will give in the name of Jesus. In a sense, he receives more than he bargained for and a life that will now glorify God.
As I scan my own cancer experience, I find myself being given more than I had bargained for. In the bargaining stage of things I would settle for some thing of gold or silver proportions. One bargains for more years to one's life rather than, as the television commercial has it, more life to whatever number of years one may have. I have received more than I bargained for. I am a better, wiser, and more prayerful pastor. I believe I am a more decent, loving human being. I build bridges more easily. Having done the cancer business for seven years I am a nonanxious presence in more places than I thought possible and have experienced more care and support than I could have ever imagined. I find myself wanting to join with the man lame from birth in leaping and praising God. In a sense, I am no longer such a lame human being. I can stride into more situations more confidently than I thought I ever could.
At this point in my life, the scans show little cancer activity. "And by faith in his name, his name itself has made this man strong, whom you see and know; and the faith that is through Jesus has given him this perfect health in the presence of all of you." As I scan my life, I find the activity of God.
Of course, the result is not always entirely unvarnished success. One of the themes of the book of Acts is that there are many who will want to use the power of God to advance their own aims. Demetrius, the silversmith, has an ongoing concern in making a profit out of religion. Simon Magus is willing to put out upfront money for the power offered in the Holy Spirit. Yes, I know what it is like to see people look on me with amazement. Having gone through this, folks don't quite know what to do with you, and listen to you with more attentiveness than you are used to or deserve. Often folks reject out of hand the holy and righteous one as the source of my level of health. Some do because out of ignorance they do not have a theology that can put such experiences into context. Many out of ignorance head for the exit at the thought of there being any faith/health connection. Some out of ignorance search for some rational explanation that they can apply to their lives. As I scan my life, all I can say is that if I am not limping through a lame life it is because it was a gift from a hand much larger than my own.
1 John 3:1-7
An MRI or a CAT scan can tell you something of how things are, but very little of how things might be. Occasionally, in my own experience, what will show up on a CAT scan will not show up on a PET scan. A CAT scan gives an anatomical picture but gives no indication of what kind of activity may be taking place. A surgeon who operates in the here-and-now needs more than a picture of how things are going to be. "Beloved, we are God's children now; what we will be has not yet been revealed." This is a truth that does require a deep scan to discover. The letter writer's community focuses on a realized eschatology that will enable them to operate in a very difficult present. It must not have been easy in John's community to make such a claim. We know that one of the themes of this community was the experience of being separated from the larger Jewish community. One wonders how many of John's people heard words like, "You are no son or daughter of mine as long as you fool with that stupid Jesus business. Do you hear me? If you go with them then you might as well keep on going for you have no home here." The promise in the Gospel of John that the community would not be left orphaned must have meant a great deal to people who were facing angry family and friends. "See what love the Father has given us that we should be called children of God; and that is what we are. The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him." Survey the situation and see that rejection and hostility abounds. However take a deeper scan and you will find a different reality.
The letter writer concludes that the root cause of the rejection of their true identity is not anything that the members of the faith community have done to bring this about. "The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him." In the modern context the statement, "That in him there is no sin" is bound to raise the level of skepticism. Neither are people likely to be less dubious about claims that no one who abides in him sins. Such claims are likely to meet with rejection.
However, it seems today that it is not that we meet rejection because the world does not know Jesus. Indeed, the world often seems to be fascinated and longing for understanding about Jesus. For years the undergraduate course at Harvard University that had the highest registrations was an exploration of Jesus' life and teaching. It seems that today it is the other way around: that many do not want to know Jesus because of what they think they know of his church.
Indeed, how can they know him if we do not act like his children? How can they know him if we engage in red state/blue state bloodletting that leaves many of us wounded? How can they know him, if we play in a way that turns our interactions more into competition than collaboration? How will they know him if we think we do not believe that we should as children grow in wisdom and in stature? How can they know him if we seek worldly wisdom more than childlike faith? The words of verse 10, "The children of God and the children of the devil are revealed in this way: all who do not do what is right are not from God, nor are those who do not love their brothers and sisters" tie together the being a child of God with the ability to do right. How can we do right if we are more interested in doing battle?
The CAT scan may not reveal the way things will go, but it can reveal the way things are.
Luke 24:36b-48
The CEA blood level measures the response of the body to disease. As Luke scans the horizon, he gives an indication of how the post-Easter community was responding to the ministry, death, and resurrection of Jesus. Here we have the story of the gathering of the community in Jerusalem. Absent the presence of the risen Christ, the community is now gathered in fear. The reader is reminded of how the community is found in John's Gospel with doors sealed for fear of what may happen next. Fear characterizes much of the initial response of the early church to its new situation. This is a natural response of the body when it feels itself under threat. The adrenalin begins to pump, the veins contract, the muscles stiffen, and the protective response kicks in. Interestingly enough, often this reaction turns out to be the least helpful to a challenge ahead. "They were startled and terrified, and thought that they were seeing a ghost. He said to them, 'Why are you frightened, and why do doubts arise in your hearts?' " They may not have fears because they have doubts but doubts because they have fears. When a burn patient is in recovery, the doctors must be careful that the protective tissue does not heal before the connective tissue that is at the deeper level. A person on crutches is told to relax if they begin to fall because if they tighten up and become rigid, they are likely to do serious damage. When a person has a heart attack, the initial panic response often causes the blood vessels to constrict in a way that will cause further damage.
Fear and flight come as a deep primal response to danger. However, our fear often puts us at greater risk. Jesus invites the disciples to take another reading of the situation. "Look at my hands and my feet; see that it is I myself. Touch me and see; for a ghost does not have flesh and bones as you see that I have." In a way, take a reading on your own wounds. Have they not also been opportunities for growth, bridges to others, and better self-understanding? How often have stumbling blocks become building blocks of the kingdom of God? God's purposes do not always seem to be contingent on our successfulness. My comfort zone and my capacity for compassion are not always concentric spheres. I take a scan of my life and there is much evidence of the pathology that leads to the primal primitive fear response. I have a quick response to Jesus' question, "Why are you afraid?" Yes, it often seems that we are more haunted by our past than helped by it. Yet, while the past cannot be forgotten, dismissed, or repressed it can be redeemed and made a tool of healing. Why do fear and doubts arise? Why do we allow a primitive response to get ahead of a more fully developed realization of what God is up to in our lives?
This text gives much evidence that the body of Christ began to give a more healthy response in light of the events of Holy Week and Easter morn. We find them gathered at a common meal. The breaking of bread together became a key to the breaking down of fear, estrangement, and hopelessness. The Emmaus pilgrims tell of how Jesus was made known in the breaking of the bread. The community found themselves having their minds open to understanding scripture in light of the Easter event. This new understanding will help their immune system to ward off the primitive fear response that leads to using scripture as a weapon to hurt and build barriers between people. The scriptures even recount a physical symptom to this immune response. They said to each other, "Were not our hearts burning within us while he was talking to us on the road, while he was opening the scriptures to us?"
Luke is interested in having the big picture. We are given a reading here that in table fellowship with Jesus, eating right, and with a burning sensation that indicates health, not infection, they are ready to journey to proclaim repentance and forgiveness of sins to all nations and to be witnesses of these things.
Application
The texts agree in taking as their focus not the well-being of the individual but the condition of the community. The health of the individual will be arrived at through the well-being of the community. The book of Acts tells the tale that for Luke the community shares all things in common and warns those who hold back from the commitment. When it comes to basic biology in an age when we are aware that potential pandemics could sweep the planet, we are more prone to accept this truth. However, it often seems that American religion is inordinately focused on individual fate. Having spent a good part of the last seven years waiting for various scans, I have found that much of the time spent waiting comes from the need to recalibrate the machines for the right organ study. These texts invite us to recalibrate our thinking in community terms. In our context and community can we name the activity of God in our midst? I doubt this can come without community conversation about our common life. I suspect that if we scanned any congregation we would find an immense amount of health that can only be attributed to the presence and power of God. In our day and age, what gets us through the tight spots of conflict and change?
I suspect that much of the road rage level of conflict that I find on internet forums and in the press comes from places of guilt, shame, and feelings of being abandoned that we have not scanned for. Such a scan might reveal that we are a lot closer together than we know or perhaps care to admit.
I wonder to what degree my church is driven by table fellowship with Jesus and a reading of scripture that is driven more by the mind of Christ and less by ideological mindlessness. We need to take a reading of our common life for the healthy levels of response to the events of Holy Week and Easter.
An Alternative Application
Acts 3:12-19. Ignorance! How dare anyone say that I operate out of ignorance? Who does Peter think he is that he should say such a thing? Repent of ignorance? Pardon me? I will not go there! While my first reaction is to feel offended, once my anger has blown out to sea, I begin to wonder how this applies to me and my church. Perhaps the real axis of evil is the combination of ignorance and arrogance that flows in its wake. When I begin to reflect, I realize how many images of people I carry around that bear little relationship to who they really are. I operate on first impressions too easily formed. No real human being could ever be reducible to the simple characterizations I have of them. I do crucify out of ignorance. Can any human being be as uncomplicated as my take on the motivations of red state and blue state people?
I don't take Saint Paul at his word when he wrote to the Romans, "behold I show you a mystery." I have found myself falling into the habit of experiencing people as something to be explained rather than as a mystery to be cherished, or honored, or cultivated. I come to believe people's reality actually does conform to all my psychological and theological theories. Too often, life becomes tactical rather than relational. Ignorance does not stop me from crucifying.
This is bad enough when it is done to people. I suspect that we become a one-person axis of evil when we think of God as something to be nailed down more than as something that opens us up.
Preaching The Psalm
Psalm 4
A great piece of advice was once offered by a sage, elder pastor. "It's okay," he said, "even necessary, to acknowledge our feelings and to work through them. But it is unwise, especially when we are angry or upset, to act out of those emotions." This one hits close to home. Over more than two decades in the pastorate, this writer has witnessed the destruction and even death caused by people who have made decisions or taken actions when they are in the throes of anger or beset by depression.
"When you are disturbed, do not sin" (v. 4).
There are many times in the course of our days that we find ourselves caught in the snares of anger. There are times, too, when the dark sides of our souls hold sway and we are caught in the maze of depression. Not to be flip, but this is life. The trick, for so many of us, is not so much to avoid these circumstances, but to be able to navigate the shoals of our emotional landscape without hurting ourselves or others in the process. In other words, we need to learn not to sin when we are "disturbed."
The writer of this psalm seems to have stumbled upon something here. He is clearly disturbed. But he turns to a God who cuts him some slack. "You gave me room when I was in distress." God is a good place for us to go when life seizes us in this way. If we must rail against our fate, shake our fists in anger, then God -- it seems -- can take it.
"God is a shield for all those who take refuge in him" (2 Samuel 22:31). The old Luther hymn comes to mind here. "A mighty fortress is our God...." In a time when people are widely encouraged to let it all out, it can be easy to lose track of the need for self-control and restraint. Indeed, it's possible to work through feelings in a healthy way without spewing the baggage of those emotions on unsuspecting and innocent bystanders. And for us, this avenue lies in taking our anger, our depression, our "disturbed" hearts to God. In prayer, in discernment, in quiet time with our Savior, it is possible to sort out the storms that beset our hearts. In the quiet space we take to be alone with God, we can separate out our feelings from the decisions we make and the actions we take.
Will we still need the help of our pastors, of therapists, and of other people whose work is centered in helping us in these arenas? Certainly. But do we need God in these moments as well? Absolutely. Perhaps, as we move through the rocky paths that come to us on our journey, we will learn how to reach for God while we seek the help we need from those God has placed in our path.
