Village Shepherd

Once upon a time, in my youth, I used to sleep well. I used to fall asleep within seconds, remain asleep all night long and whenever possible, well into the next day! But as soon as our first child appeared on the scene, those halcyon days were gone forever, never to reappear.

It seemed like the older I got, the worse I slept. For the last few years, I've been able to fall asleep in front of the television, no problem, but as soon as I've clambered into bed, I've often been wide awake with no prospect of sleep for hours. On other occasions, I've slept well for a few hours, but woken about two in the morning and been quite unable to sleep again until dawn.

So I was naturally intrigued when someone mentioned to me a little electronic device which emits electromagnetic waves of exactly the same wavelength as the brainwaves human beings emit when they're asleep. The idea of the device is that you switch it on when you get into bed, and your own brainwaves tune into the waves emitted by the device, so you fall asleep more quickly. And, the manufacturers claim, you remain asleep for longer and enjoy a better quality of sleep.

I was intrigued, but highly sceptical. It sounded much too good to be true, and I wasn't convinced by the explanation, which I thought sounded more like wishful thinking than science.

There were just two things which made me think the device might be worth investigating. One was that my friend swore by it, and the other was that there was a 90-day trial period. If after 90 days you didn't notice any benefit, you could return the device and get your money back. That sounded like a very reasonable deal.

I dithered for a while. I borrowed my friend's device for a few days, and didn't notice any benefit whatsoever! My scepticism increased. I studied the cost, and hesitated even more, for I considered it rather expensive.

But eventually, I took the plunge and sent off for a device of my own. It didn't work for me immediately, but I persevered for a while, and now, most nights, I sleep like a baby. It's not totally foolproof, but the sleepless nights which used to occur two or three times a week, are now largely a thing of the past.

Perhaps it's impossible to make a completely accurate assessment of any situation unless you've been there yourself. Perhaps it's possible to weigh up the pros and cons, and to make a reasonable and reasoned estimate from the sidelines, as an observer. But if I'm really to know a situation, I have to be there, myself. At some point, I have to be willing to take a leap of faith. And as the Jews discovered in the time of Jesus, that can be quite a costly procedure.

In the case of my sleeping device, it was quite a small leap of faith, because should it have proved to have been the wrong decision, I could quickly and easily reclaim my costs. So I really had nothing to lose. But what about the cost of following Jesus, especially back in the first century? If that proved to be wrong, where would the Jews find themselves? They had a great deal to lose.

It was December, wintertime. Jesus was walking in the temple, on the east side, which offered protection against the cold winds from the desert. The Jews had gathered round him.

They didn't know whether or not Jesus was the promised Messiah. Rumour suggested he might be, and they were intrigued. They certainly sensed something special about this man. So they gathered round him, drawn to him like a magnet. But rather than make any leaps of faith, they dithered and hesitated.

They tried to assess the situation from the sidelines, by asking Jesus himself whether he was the Christ. But he replied that he'd already told them and they didn't believe. Perhaps he was referring to John 8:25, where they said to him, "Who are you?" and Jesus said to them, "What I told you from the beginning."

For actually, throughout the gospels, Jesus never directly claimed to be the Messiah, the Christ. He usually referred people to his works, to the things he did, and suggested people should make up their own minds. And that's what he did on this occasion: Jesus answered, "I have told you, and you do not believe. The works that I do in my Father's name testify to me, but you do not believe." (John 10:25)

So the Jews watched from a distance. They saw crowds following Jesus. They heard about his growing reputation. They must have met people who were healed by him. They learned that he offered eternal life to his followers, that his followers would never perish. But still the Jews hesitated and dithered. Perhaps it was all too good to be true. Perhaps the idea of living forever sounded more like wishful thinking than science.

Or perhaps the cost, without any money-back guarantees, was just too great. The Jews were religious people, pillars of the community, worshippers of the one true God. This Jesus was a wandering preacher, one of many wandering preachers. He was a healer and a miracle worker, one of many healers and miracle workers. His friends claimed he was the Messiah. Many others both before him and after him, claimed to be the Messiah.

Suppose the Jews gave up their positions in the synagogue or temple to follow this Jesus, only to discover he was a fake like all the other fakes? Suppose they threw their lot in with him, only to discover he really was a nobody? Suppose they jumped on the bandwagon only to find themselves spun into oblivion when the bandwagon ground to a halt?

If Jesus turned out not to be the Messiah, those Jews would be left with nothing. Their reputations damaged beyond repair, their credibility irreparably tarnished. Even worse, where would they stand in the eyes of God? Would he too discard them for following an imposter?

The Jews needed certainty before they dared jump, the risk was so great. And so they asked Jesus himself: "Are you the Messiah?" But Jesus refused to afford them that certainty. His attitude was always: look for yourself, then make your own decision. Jesus told people what to expect - eternal life - then left them to decide for themselves. He never attempted to persuade or cajole. He was no high-pressure salesman. He offered no guarantees, but expected his followers to take the huge risk of giving up everything to follow him.

Some did just that, and discovered heartache and pain, but also unimaginable rewards. For many, like the Jews and the rich young ruler (Luke 18:18-23), the odds were just too long, the risks too great. So they sat on the sidelines preserving their own lives, and gained nothing.

There are still no guarantees in Christianity. No-one can prove eternal life, it can only be experienced. And it can only be experienced by those who are willing to give up everything to follow Jesus. There are no half measures. Those who want to gain eternal life, the sort of rich, full, exciting, joyous life offered by God, must be prepared to lose their 'lives' - their reputation, their place in society, their wealth, their comfort. They must be prepared to take up their cross in order to follow Jesus, and that can be a very painful business. But no-one can follow Jesus from the sidelines, as an observer. The pros and cons can be reasonably assessed from the sidelines, but in the end, you have to be there, to experience for yourself. There has to be a leap of faith.

Following Jesus is all or nothing. There are no guarantees that it'll work, that life will be any better with Jesus than it was without him. It may need perseverance before any effects are felt. And the risks are huge, so that many of us try to keep a foot in both camps. To enjoy the material benefits of this life as well as expecting to experience the benefits of eternal life. But that can't really be done. It's all or nothing with Jesus, and those who really want eternal life must give their whole life into his hands, with no strings attached - for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health; until death.

Find someone who's done that, and you'll find a richness and a depth of life which can only be imagined.