Words That Wound, Words That Heal
Sermon
Sermons on the Second Readings
Series III, Cycle B
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
-- Ephesians 4:29
Often we fail to recognize the power of our speech, our language, the words we use. A public speaker once began his address by commanding his audience to "stand up." Then he said, "Turn and face the back of the church ... now turn and face me." Finally he commanded them to "sit down." "The point I am making," he explained, "is that words have power. They can make things happen. They can be bullets which penetrate the heart, wounding the one for whom they are intended. Or they can bring joy, celebration, healing. Consider the difference between the two statements, 'I love you; I hate you.' Words can wound and words can heal."
This lesson is particularly poignant for our day. We spend a great deal of time thinking and talking about our diets. We are pre-occupied with what we eat, how we eat, when we eat. We are all very concerned about what goes into our mouths. Are we as interested in what comes out of our mouths? Jesus said, "It's not what goes into the mouth that defiles the person, but what comes out of the mouth that defiles" (Matthew 15:11).
Have you listened to the conversations of your children lately? Have you heard what is on the airwaves of MTV or on your child's iPod? There are groups with some pretty unique names, such as Arrested Development, and Porno for Pyros. There is a group called NWA that sings "Takin' out a police will make my day." There is a group called Public Enemy that sings a tune that boasts, "beat(ing) down a woman (pejorative bitch) 'til she almost died." But parents are told to loosen up, because using foul language is no big deal. Meanwhile we live in an age in which teenagers being entertained by Guns N' Roses are either having a baby or an abortion before they're sixteen, and are unable to find Italy on a map.
CSS published a book that is a parental guide to raising children. One of the chapters on discipline suggested that there are occasions when it would be appropriate, even wise, to paddle a child. The book sold extremely well. However, one day an irate day care owner returned the book with a letter that stated, "I won't carry a book in my day care that advises corporal punishment of a child."
Have we OD'd on tolerance in our society? I think so! We are more concerned with our children's little bottoms than with their brains. We are more interested in their clothes than in their character. We are more concerned with what goes into their mouths than what comes out of their mouths.
Frankly, I must say that it begins with our example in the home. How much positive speaking is there in our homes, between husband and wife? How do we converse with our children? How often do we compliment? How much do we criticize?
"Do not let unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."
Mother Teresa said, "Let no one come to you without going away better and happier." Each of us has that power to use words and language that provide a means of grace to those who hear them. We have the ability to inspire others.
A young girl was asked why she had broken up with her old boyfriend and taken up with a new one. She answered, "When I was with Robert, he impressed me with how great he was. But when I was with Jonathon, he made me feel great about myself."
Jesus said, "Don't you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and out of the body? But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man unclean."
What comes out of our mouths reveals what is in our hearts. Do we tend to brood on personal hurts? Do we dwell on insults? Are we filled with bitterness, contempt, anger? If these emotions are devouring our minds we must prayerfully seek a cleansing of the heart so that we can refill ourselves with love, compassion, and forgiveness. I have found that it helps immensely to pray for that person with whom I am most disgusted or who has hurt me the most. Praying for the individual softens the contempt and bitterness in my heart.
I recently wondered to myself: If someone followed me around for a day with a tape recorder, how would I sound when it was played back at the end of the day? What would have been the tone of my voice? What kind of words and language did I use?
What would your tape recording reveal about your character?
Isn't it a challenge to keep our communication at home, at work, and at school on a higher plane? It can so easily degenerate into evil speaking or into complaining.
Remember, it is not what goes into your mouth that defiles you, but what comes out of your mouth. Our vocabulary is an indication of our intellect. Our words provide a window to our character. Our grammar reveals the degree of our refinement. Our speech is a reflection of our spirit.
We must always be careful how we speak to one another in the home. A public service advertisement for the national committee for the prevention of child abuse reminded us of "words that hit as hard as a fist." It listed words that some parents say to their children. "You disgust me, just shut up. You're pathetic, you can't do anything right. You are really stupid. Don't you know how to listen? Get out of here. I'm sick of looking at your face." Accompanying these comments that some parents make to their children is a picture of a child with tears in her eyes, along with the caption, "Children believe what their parents tell them."
When a parent tells a child that he is stupid, he believes it and that belief will be carried into his adulthood. When she is told that she is disgusting, she develops that self-identity, and she will forever thereafter reflect it in her behavior.
We must be careful how we speak to one another in the home. The Bible instructs us to "Be careful how you live," and to "Live as wise people." That certainly applies to what comes out of our mouths.
Among the things I ask a couple to do when they come to be married, is to write down three compliments they have each received from each other during the past few days. If they can't remember anything positive their partner has said even that early in the relationship, it is not a good sign of building a solid relationship, is it?
It reminds me of the story about the guy who is sprawled out in front of the television with popcorn and empty cans all around him. His wife is standing in front of the television screen with her hands on her hips saying, "I want to know right now. Do you love me more than you love football?" There is a long silence. "Well?" she asks. Finally, he replies, "I love you more than hockey."
Each one of us needs to hear reassuring words of love and comfort from time to time. Such language is healing. It builds bridges of understanding and loyalty. It engenders an environment of gentleness and patience.
If we are critical, we will get criticism in return. If we are complimentary, we will receive compliments. Ask yourself: does your spouse or do your children have reason to look forward to your return home from work? Does your spouse feel better about herself (himself) because of your presence?
I like the anonymous writing that goes like this:
I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.
I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me.
I love you for putting your hand into my heaped up heart and passing over all the foolish, weak things that you can't help dimly seeing there, and drawing out into the light all the beautiful things that no one else had looked quite far enough to find.
I love you because you are helping me to make of the lumber of my life not a tavern, but a temple, out of the works of my every day not a reproach, but a song.
During these vacation days of summer, let us all take some time to reflect upon our language, upon words that hurt and words that heal, remembering this good exhortation of Saint Paul, "Let no bad word pass your lips, but only what is helpful for building others up, according to their needs." Let us use words that are gracious and a means of grace to those who hear them. Amen.
-- Ephesians 4:29
Often we fail to recognize the power of our speech, our language, the words we use. A public speaker once began his address by commanding his audience to "stand up." Then he said, "Turn and face the back of the church ... now turn and face me." Finally he commanded them to "sit down." "The point I am making," he explained, "is that words have power. They can make things happen. They can be bullets which penetrate the heart, wounding the one for whom they are intended. Or they can bring joy, celebration, healing. Consider the difference between the two statements, 'I love you; I hate you.' Words can wound and words can heal."
This lesson is particularly poignant for our day. We spend a great deal of time thinking and talking about our diets. We are pre-occupied with what we eat, how we eat, when we eat. We are all very concerned about what goes into our mouths. Are we as interested in what comes out of our mouths? Jesus said, "It's not what goes into the mouth that defiles the person, but what comes out of the mouth that defiles" (Matthew 15:11).
Have you listened to the conversations of your children lately? Have you heard what is on the airwaves of MTV or on your child's iPod? There are groups with some pretty unique names, such as Arrested Development, and Porno for Pyros. There is a group called NWA that sings "Takin' out a police will make my day." There is a group called Public Enemy that sings a tune that boasts, "beat(ing) down a woman (pejorative bitch) 'til she almost died." But parents are told to loosen up, because using foul language is no big deal. Meanwhile we live in an age in which teenagers being entertained by Guns N' Roses are either having a baby or an abortion before they're sixteen, and are unable to find Italy on a map.
CSS published a book that is a parental guide to raising children. One of the chapters on discipline suggested that there are occasions when it would be appropriate, even wise, to paddle a child. The book sold extremely well. However, one day an irate day care owner returned the book with a letter that stated, "I won't carry a book in my day care that advises corporal punishment of a child."
Have we OD'd on tolerance in our society? I think so! We are more concerned with our children's little bottoms than with their brains. We are more interested in their clothes than in their character. We are more concerned with what goes into their mouths than what comes out of their mouths.
Frankly, I must say that it begins with our example in the home. How much positive speaking is there in our homes, between husband and wife? How do we converse with our children? How often do we compliment? How much do we criticize?
"Do not let unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."
Mother Teresa said, "Let no one come to you without going away better and happier." Each of us has that power to use words and language that provide a means of grace to those who hear them. We have the ability to inspire others.
A young girl was asked why she had broken up with her old boyfriend and taken up with a new one. She answered, "When I was with Robert, he impressed me with how great he was. But when I was with Jonathon, he made me feel great about myself."
Jesus said, "Don't you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and out of the body? But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man unclean."
What comes out of our mouths reveals what is in our hearts. Do we tend to brood on personal hurts? Do we dwell on insults? Are we filled with bitterness, contempt, anger? If these emotions are devouring our minds we must prayerfully seek a cleansing of the heart so that we can refill ourselves with love, compassion, and forgiveness. I have found that it helps immensely to pray for that person with whom I am most disgusted or who has hurt me the most. Praying for the individual softens the contempt and bitterness in my heart.
I recently wondered to myself: If someone followed me around for a day with a tape recorder, how would I sound when it was played back at the end of the day? What would have been the tone of my voice? What kind of words and language did I use?
What would your tape recording reveal about your character?
Isn't it a challenge to keep our communication at home, at work, and at school on a higher plane? It can so easily degenerate into evil speaking or into complaining.
Remember, it is not what goes into your mouth that defiles you, but what comes out of your mouth. Our vocabulary is an indication of our intellect. Our words provide a window to our character. Our grammar reveals the degree of our refinement. Our speech is a reflection of our spirit.
We must always be careful how we speak to one another in the home. A public service advertisement for the national committee for the prevention of child abuse reminded us of "words that hit as hard as a fist." It listed words that some parents say to their children. "You disgust me, just shut up. You're pathetic, you can't do anything right. You are really stupid. Don't you know how to listen? Get out of here. I'm sick of looking at your face." Accompanying these comments that some parents make to their children is a picture of a child with tears in her eyes, along with the caption, "Children believe what their parents tell them."
When a parent tells a child that he is stupid, he believes it and that belief will be carried into his adulthood. When she is told that she is disgusting, she develops that self-identity, and she will forever thereafter reflect it in her behavior.
We must be careful how we speak to one another in the home. The Bible instructs us to "Be careful how you live," and to "Live as wise people." That certainly applies to what comes out of our mouths.
Among the things I ask a couple to do when they come to be married, is to write down three compliments they have each received from each other during the past few days. If they can't remember anything positive their partner has said even that early in the relationship, it is not a good sign of building a solid relationship, is it?
It reminds me of the story about the guy who is sprawled out in front of the television with popcorn and empty cans all around him. His wife is standing in front of the television screen with her hands on her hips saying, "I want to know right now. Do you love me more than you love football?" There is a long silence. "Well?" she asks. Finally, he replies, "I love you more than hockey."
Each one of us needs to hear reassuring words of love and comfort from time to time. Such language is healing. It builds bridges of understanding and loyalty. It engenders an environment of gentleness and patience.
If we are critical, we will get criticism in return. If we are complimentary, we will receive compliments. Ask yourself: does your spouse or do your children have reason to look forward to your return home from work? Does your spouse feel better about herself (himself) because of your presence?
I like the anonymous writing that goes like this:
I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.
I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me.
I love you for putting your hand into my heaped up heart and passing over all the foolish, weak things that you can't help dimly seeing there, and drawing out into the light all the beautiful things that no one else had looked quite far enough to find.
I love you because you are helping me to make of the lumber of my life not a tavern, but a temple, out of the works of my every day not a reproach, but a song.
During these vacation days of summer, let us all take some time to reflect upon our language, upon words that hurt and words that heal, remembering this good exhortation of Saint Paul, "Let no bad word pass your lips, but only what is helpful for building others up, according to their needs." Let us use words that are gracious and a means of grace to those who hear them. Amen.
