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(Name) and (name), the word overwhelming was made for a day like today. No words will ever be able to describe how you feel. Yet the closeness you feel toward your Lord and toward each other on this day is only the beginning of a lifetime of surprises, and gifts, and joys, God has in store for you. Knowing this, we, your family, relatives, and friends, have gathered to celebrate this momentous and sacred event with you. We are here to assure you of our affection and to undergird you with our prayers.

In the midst of all the emotions you feel, I would break into your thoughts with some good news from Jesus. Words not only for you, but for all who are present. Words which may not sound appropriate for a wedding, but I believe they fit. They are strong, dynamic words of grace which can revive and strengthen all our relationships. From the Gospel of Mark: "If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." Mark 8:34

That word from Christ speaks directly, not only to the matter of marriage, but to all of life, for he is speaking about commitment! I am well aware that the popular cry of our generation is one of liberation: "Let me first of all be free!" But the startling truth is that there can be no genuine, fulfilling liberation unless we stand first of all on the bedrock of commitment.

Of course, the liberation movements sound attractive. Often there is the assumption that loving, profound, lifelong relationships are the exception rather than the rule. So we are bombarded with facile verbiage like: "Think of yourself first." "You don't owe anyone anything."

A women's magazine I read some time ago advised women to refuse to sacrifice for the family. The idea was to think of one's self. You come first. You have to grow, too. Let others do the sacrificing. Don't make commitments which cannot be easily broken.

Last year I read a newspaper article which suggested that men think of marriage like they think of a job. Don't plan on staying married to the same person for the whole of your life. You need variety, so think of several marriages for different stages in your life.

The rhetoric of some liberation movements demonstrates a brutal disregard for others, overlooking the possibility of a love which becomes richer and more meaningful as a couple grows together in marriage. But of course, if a relationship is not built on absolute commitment, if there is no one we can trust, then it stands to reason that life becomes a treacherous, anxiety-ridden experience and we develop throw away relationships. You see, we must always be careful that no one makes a fool of us.

What then shall we say to this? Jesus said if anyone wants to become a follower of his, they need to leave self behind; they must take up their cross and come with him. Whoever puts one's self first is lost; but if anyone is willing to live humbly, like a servant, they will find their true self. Jesus is saying that a preoccupation with self can keep us from the real meaning of life. The deepest needs and requirements of our lives cannot be met within ourselves. They must be found in relationships, with God, and with other people. The fruits of love, joy, and peace are the by-products of faithful, lifelong commitment. We need, as husband and wife, to assure each other of our faithfulness, to speak it to each other, and to live it out, so we might experience its wonder and power, together ... till death us do part.

Our calling is to be a committed people. We need commitment, for we cannot live securely in fragile relationships which might break at any time. We cannot be at peace when one partner lays down conditions for acceptance. We cannot celebrate love at its deepest levels if another will not give totally of himself. We need persons we can call on, fall back on, rely on, and rest in. That's why Jesus' invitation to deny ourselves and follow him is not bad news, but good news. For when we put our Lord first, the other things of this world fall into their proper persective. Then things, even valuable things, become dispensable. Blunders in relationships become forgivable; people become reliable. Love becomes possible; and hope can surge in our hearts.

When we have committed our lives to Christ he can free us, liberate us, in the truest sense of the word. Then we can live out our lives to the fullest, enjoying, but not being bound to, all the gifts God gives us. For Jesus' promise was, and is, if a person will surrender their life and lose it in him, they will find their true self.

________ and ________, our prayer is that in committing your life to God, he will strengthen you to keep the commitments you have made to each other, that you may celebrate being together ... till death you do part. As you are faithful, the lives of many will be blessed through you. Amen