Self--Disclosure - Self--Surrender
Sermon
BEST WEDDING MEDITATIONS
By Leslie F. Brandt
In a world where good interpersonal relationships are hard to come by, marriage, potentially the most effective kind of relationship, can also be the most destructive one. After counseling with scores of frustrated spouses on the brink of breakup, one begins to focus on keys or clues to a reasonably happy and lasting relationship. Wise budgeting and good sexual techniques are important. Common interests between mates certainly makes a contribution. Communication and motivation are vital to the cause. But two key phrases that deserve priority in a successful relationship are first, self--disclosure, and secondly, self--surrender.
First, there must be self--disclosure - to each other. We are all guilty of assuming roles in our lives - playing games with each other. Suspicious and ashamed of our real selves, we take on one or more of the roles acquired, often unconsciously, from our parents or teachers or some other authority figure in our lives. Thus we parade around under masks, not daring to expose our real selves for fear of rejection or nonacceptance by our mates. Before one can truly love another, he must disclose himself to the other. Before one can disclose himself, he must accept himself as valid and worthwhile. Then he must honestly BE himself, reveal himself, give of himself.
Then, there must be self--surrender - to God. In a paraphrase of Psalm 61, the psalmist prays: "I cannot find peace or security until I lose myself in something or someone that is greater than I." We don't surrender ourselves to each other. We disclose ourselves, give of ourselves to the other, but we surrender our all to God. God only has the right to total possession of our beings. "So faith, hope, love abide, these three: but the greatest of these is love." It is to love - as manifested through Jesus Christ - that I commend you.
In a world where good interpersonal relationships are hard to come by, marriage, potentially the most effective kind of relationship, can also be the most destructive one. After counseling with scores of frustrated spouses on the brink of breakup, one begins to focus on keys or clues to a reasonably happy and lasting relationship. Wise budgeting and good sexual techniques are important. Common interests between mates certainly makes a contribution. Communication and motivation are vital to the cause. But two key phrases that deserve priority in a successful relationship are first, self--disclosure, and secondly, self--surrender.
First, there must be self--disclosure - to each other. We are all guilty of assuming roles in our lives - playing games with each other. Suspicious and ashamed of our real selves, we take on one or more of the roles acquired, often unconsciously, from our parents or teachers or some other authority figure in our lives. Thus we parade around under masks, not daring to expose our real selves for fear of rejection or nonacceptance by our mates. Before one can truly love another, he must disclose himself to the other. Before one can disclose himself, he must accept himself as valid and worthwhile. Then he must honestly BE himself, reveal himself, give of himself.
Then, there must be self--surrender - to God. In a paraphrase of Psalm 61, the psalmist prays: "I cannot find peace or security until I lose myself in something or someone that is greater than I." We don't surrender ourselves to each other. We disclose ourselves, give of ourselves to the other, but we surrender our all to God. God only has the right to total possession of our beings. "So faith, hope, love abide, these three: but the greatest of these is love." It is to love - as manifested through Jesus Christ - that I commend you.
