Responding In Anger
Sermon
Affirming The Ash Heap
Lenten Sermons Comparing Jesus And Job
A 75-year-old man went to his doctor for a physical examination. The doctor went through all the procedures and found everything to be perfect. "It's amazing," the doctor said to the patient. "You have the body of a man 25 years younger. What's your secret?"
The patient replied: "Well, when my wife and I were married fifty years ago, we made an agreement. We decided never to fuss or to argue with one another. Whenever we have a difference of opinion that causes friction and we can see a fight coming on, she just stays in the house and I go out for a long walk. I guess my good health is due to the fact that for fifty years I've pretty much lived an outdoor life."
We chuckle at his answer, but isn't it true we all have had to find ways of controlling ourselves when the stresses of life become too great? We may not hit upon the solution of this couple, but we've all had to find some way to control ourselves and put a lid on ourselves when the stresses become great.
Suppose all of us were to take pencil and paper right now and make a list of what we consider to be some of our major sins. Do you think a lot of us would have some of the same things on our lists? How much agreement, do you think, would there be between your list and my list, between your list and that of your mate or your child or your parent?
One night some years ago I went to a revival service at a church of another denomination in the small town in which I was living. I had made plans to go see a movie after the service. The preacher was a very capable young man and very gifted in biblical knowledge and content. He was an excellent speaker, using good diction, good English, short sentences, and so on.
That night he gave one of the best interpretations on the work of the Holy Spirit I had ever heard or read. He went back into the Old Testament to show how God's Spirit was "in the beginning," and carried us right up to the day of Pentecost and the descent of the Holy Spirit upon the early church.
The sermon got to the place that all good sermons must reach. This is when the congregation is to ask itself, "So what?" As a result of all that has been pointed out, "What are we to do?"
The preacher that evening, in answering those questions, emphasized the need to be careful that we do not sin against the Holy Spirit. The three sins he said we need to watch out for are wearing shorts, using lipstick, and going to the movies. I had no trouble with the shorts or the lipstick, but you can imagine how I felt knowing that I was planning to make a beeline to the theater as soon as the benediction was pronounced.
Back in the sixth century a leader of the church made a list of major sins. Pope Gregory the Great gave out what he considered to be the seven deadly sins. He listed anger as the third sin in his list.
What do you think about anger? Is it a sin to be angry? If someone in your Sunday School class raised the question, "Is anger good or bad?" I think the initial response would be, "Anger is bad." It is bad because we have been taught since we were small that we should not be angry.
At an early age most of us learned that being angry had some terrible consequences. Something may have happened that hurt our feelings or scared us, or we got tired and crabby and angry. If we let that anger show, we were often trundled off to bed or punished in some way. And we were often told that good little girls and boys never get angry. So we grew up with the message that was strong and clear: it is not good to be angry.
And yet, all of us get angry. We don't seem to be able to control it at times. We may try to tell ourselves that we are not going to get upset, but nevertheless we feel the heat of anger rising in our hearts.
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross has lectured and written a lot about death and dying. Most of us are familiar with the steps she declares persons experience when they know they are dying. The first is denial: it can't be, the x-rays are messed up, the diagnosis is wrong. The second stage is anger: resentment, why me and not an older person, my family wants me out of the way.
Is it sinful for a dying person to experience anger? The answer to that question may help us understand that sin is involved in where we direct our anger, and what we do with it. But anger, in itself, is not a sin. If it were, how would we handle the scriptures that tell us that our Savior, on occasions, became angry?
We are in a series of sermons during this Lenten season comparing the sufferings of the Old Testament's Job with the suffering of Jesus. According to that story, Job was the richest man around, but in a single day he was wiped out and he was afflicted with some dreaded disease. He threw himself on the ground and cried out in his anguish. From that ash heap Job said that if he had his way, the day he was born would be stricken from the calendar and never mentioned again.
In spite of all that he said and did, Jesus met unbelievable opposition. When he healed, he was accused of being in cahoots with the devil. When he talked about servanthood, he was misunderstood. When he attempted to explain neighborliness, he was thought to be subversive. When he refused to strike back, he was marked as a coward.
Job's ash heap mounted high in one day. Jesus found ash heap after ash heap during the three years of his ministry.
We all have found ourselves thrown upon an ash heap because of life's circumstances. And like Job and Jesus, we need to be honest in acknowledging what life and circumstances are doing to us. Job screamed for a reason why his life had crumbled in on him. Jesus, one night in the Garden of Gethsemane, knelt and asked some of the same questions: "Why does it take a cross to make people aware of love?" We have asked some of these same questions from our ash heaps, and have learned, I hope, that God does not cause our suffering, nor does God will it. But God does sustain us through it.
Job needed help. So did Jesus. They looked to their friends. Job's three friends offered nothing but pious platitudes. Jesus' friends deserted him, betrayed him, and denied him. We've discovered, from our ash heaps, that there are friends who, like Jesus, would trade places with us and sit upon our ash heaps for us, if it were possible. I know I would have willingly changed places with my wife when she was dying of cancer.
Today we are still following these two men, and discovering that both of them reacted sometimes with anger at what was taking place. Job we can understand because he was just a man. And all of us get angry. After his friend Eliphaz had delivered his oracle, claiming that God had given him a personal revelation on Job's condition, Job from his ash heap began a prayer: "God, I can't be quiet. I am angry and bitter. I have to speak." And then he let all of his anger pour out towards God: "You terrify me. You test me every minute. You won't turn your head away long enough for me to spit. Am I so burdensome to you that you use me for your target practice?"
Eliphaz had told Job that he was suffering because he had committed some grave sin. Job knew better. But if Eliphaz were right about the way God treats sinners, then Job wanted to tell God how he felt. And in his anger, he did.
But anger and Jesus -- that's another story. Did Jesus ever get angry? The biblical records report that he did. So how does it make us feel knowing that the Savior, on occasions, became angry? Do we sense that perhaps Jesus was caught off guard for a moment? So maybe we ought to skip over or dress up those references to his anger. But we can't do that.
One day the chief priest and scribes became hostile toward Jesus because he broke the Sabbath observance in healing a man with a withered hand. The record read, "Jesus looked round at them with anger." And why not? Surely the man was more important than the day of the week.
When Jesus was questioned by the high priest about his disciples and about his preaching, he answered with a tinge of anger in his voice. "I have always spoken publicly to everyone. I never said anything in secret. Why then do you question me? Question the people who heard me." That's when one of the guards slapped him for talking like that to the high priest.
The reference we most often hear regarding Jesus' anger was when he went into the temple and expressed his anger in action as well as verbally. When he saw what was being done to God's house, he turned over the tables of the money changers. He yelled out at what he saw: "You know what the temple is to be used for. You know that well. It is etched in your minds." Then he stood there and cried angrily, "You know this place is to be used as a house of prayer. You use it as a den of thieves." He was angry.
What makes us angry? That's the end question. Job was angry about his condition. Jesus got angry about issues -- not at people, but at issues. He was angry at the burden inflicted upon people because of the greed and injustice of others.
Most of us have been able to identify with Job and with Jesus as we've watched them over the past Sundays. Can we identify with them in their anger?
Let me say very clearly that there is no sin in being angry. The sin is to pretend it is not there, to let it seethe underneath until it comes out as passive aggressiveness. The sin is to let anger be directed against people and not against issues and conditions. The sin is to nurse anger in our relationships, feeding it more and more grievances without facing the situation honestly and squarely. Nursed anger becomes hate. And then love is entirely defeated in us because hate is the zero of love.
There are three things that I sense are important for us in facing our anger. First, it is important for us to recognize that we do get angry. And at the same time to recognize that we are vulnerable to someone else's anger. We need to recognize that we can be the object of another person's anger. I talked with a minister who asked to be moved from his church. He made the request because of the friction between those who responded to his ministry and those who did not. "It's been miserable for the past six months," he said. "How do you handle opposition?"
"Refuse to be an enemy" was my advice to that clergy person. "Refuse to let those who do not respond to your ministry make you their enemy. Refuse to be an enemy."
That is not denying anger. But that's a way to control it.
Secondly, I think it's important that we make sure our anger is addressed to issues, not to people. Suppose someone does something we do not like. If we look at the situation from their perspective, maybe we would view it differently. Usually there are two sides to every issue, and seldom are they equal. There is often more wrong on one side than the other. We must not spend time accumulating a list of people on the other side of an issue whom we dislike. We are free to oppose any issue, but we need not hate the persons who support it. If we hate the person, we must forget the issue. Jesus dealt with issues. And we must make sure that our anger is addressed to issues, not to people.
The third thing is this: don't bottle up anger, for unfaced anger leads to resentment and hostility.
I have found two effective ways of expressing anger and getting it under control. Sometimes I write it down, identify it, put it out before me, and see what it looks like in black and white, as if it were someone else's anger.
And sometimes I talk it over with a trusted friend. This friend can help me look at the cause of my anger and change what is upsetting me.
I am like Job. I often cry out to God from the depths of my agony. At such times I feel God's presence very keenly, and I know that I have come in contact with One who is able to bear the burden of my anger and distress. I know that Jesus, the crucified one, knows and understands this agony and will sustain me.
The patient replied: "Well, when my wife and I were married fifty years ago, we made an agreement. We decided never to fuss or to argue with one another. Whenever we have a difference of opinion that causes friction and we can see a fight coming on, she just stays in the house and I go out for a long walk. I guess my good health is due to the fact that for fifty years I've pretty much lived an outdoor life."
We chuckle at his answer, but isn't it true we all have had to find ways of controlling ourselves when the stresses of life become too great? We may not hit upon the solution of this couple, but we've all had to find some way to control ourselves and put a lid on ourselves when the stresses become great.
Suppose all of us were to take pencil and paper right now and make a list of what we consider to be some of our major sins. Do you think a lot of us would have some of the same things on our lists? How much agreement, do you think, would there be between your list and my list, between your list and that of your mate or your child or your parent?
One night some years ago I went to a revival service at a church of another denomination in the small town in which I was living. I had made plans to go see a movie after the service. The preacher was a very capable young man and very gifted in biblical knowledge and content. He was an excellent speaker, using good diction, good English, short sentences, and so on.
That night he gave one of the best interpretations on the work of the Holy Spirit I had ever heard or read. He went back into the Old Testament to show how God's Spirit was "in the beginning," and carried us right up to the day of Pentecost and the descent of the Holy Spirit upon the early church.
The sermon got to the place that all good sermons must reach. This is when the congregation is to ask itself, "So what?" As a result of all that has been pointed out, "What are we to do?"
The preacher that evening, in answering those questions, emphasized the need to be careful that we do not sin against the Holy Spirit. The three sins he said we need to watch out for are wearing shorts, using lipstick, and going to the movies. I had no trouble with the shorts or the lipstick, but you can imagine how I felt knowing that I was planning to make a beeline to the theater as soon as the benediction was pronounced.
Back in the sixth century a leader of the church made a list of major sins. Pope Gregory the Great gave out what he considered to be the seven deadly sins. He listed anger as the third sin in his list.
What do you think about anger? Is it a sin to be angry? If someone in your Sunday School class raised the question, "Is anger good or bad?" I think the initial response would be, "Anger is bad." It is bad because we have been taught since we were small that we should not be angry.
At an early age most of us learned that being angry had some terrible consequences. Something may have happened that hurt our feelings or scared us, or we got tired and crabby and angry. If we let that anger show, we were often trundled off to bed or punished in some way. And we were often told that good little girls and boys never get angry. So we grew up with the message that was strong and clear: it is not good to be angry.
And yet, all of us get angry. We don't seem to be able to control it at times. We may try to tell ourselves that we are not going to get upset, but nevertheless we feel the heat of anger rising in our hearts.
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross has lectured and written a lot about death and dying. Most of us are familiar with the steps she declares persons experience when they know they are dying. The first is denial: it can't be, the x-rays are messed up, the diagnosis is wrong. The second stage is anger: resentment, why me and not an older person, my family wants me out of the way.
Is it sinful for a dying person to experience anger? The answer to that question may help us understand that sin is involved in where we direct our anger, and what we do with it. But anger, in itself, is not a sin. If it were, how would we handle the scriptures that tell us that our Savior, on occasions, became angry?
We are in a series of sermons during this Lenten season comparing the sufferings of the Old Testament's Job with the suffering of Jesus. According to that story, Job was the richest man around, but in a single day he was wiped out and he was afflicted with some dreaded disease. He threw himself on the ground and cried out in his anguish. From that ash heap Job said that if he had his way, the day he was born would be stricken from the calendar and never mentioned again.
In spite of all that he said and did, Jesus met unbelievable opposition. When he healed, he was accused of being in cahoots with the devil. When he talked about servanthood, he was misunderstood. When he attempted to explain neighborliness, he was thought to be subversive. When he refused to strike back, he was marked as a coward.
Job's ash heap mounted high in one day. Jesus found ash heap after ash heap during the three years of his ministry.
We all have found ourselves thrown upon an ash heap because of life's circumstances. And like Job and Jesus, we need to be honest in acknowledging what life and circumstances are doing to us. Job screamed for a reason why his life had crumbled in on him. Jesus, one night in the Garden of Gethsemane, knelt and asked some of the same questions: "Why does it take a cross to make people aware of love?" We have asked some of these same questions from our ash heaps, and have learned, I hope, that God does not cause our suffering, nor does God will it. But God does sustain us through it.
Job needed help. So did Jesus. They looked to their friends. Job's three friends offered nothing but pious platitudes. Jesus' friends deserted him, betrayed him, and denied him. We've discovered, from our ash heaps, that there are friends who, like Jesus, would trade places with us and sit upon our ash heaps for us, if it were possible. I know I would have willingly changed places with my wife when she was dying of cancer.
Today we are still following these two men, and discovering that both of them reacted sometimes with anger at what was taking place. Job we can understand because he was just a man. And all of us get angry. After his friend Eliphaz had delivered his oracle, claiming that God had given him a personal revelation on Job's condition, Job from his ash heap began a prayer: "God, I can't be quiet. I am angry and bitter. I have to speak." And then he let all of his anger pour out towards God: "You terrify me. You test me every minute. You won't turn your head away long enough for me to spit. Am I so burdensome to you that you use me for your target practice?"
Eliphaz had told Job that he was suffering because he had committed some grave sin. Job knew better. But if Eliphaz were right about the way God treats sinners, then Job wanted to tell God how he felt. And in his anger, he did.
But anger and Jesus -- that's another story. Did Jesus ever get angry? The biblical records report that he did. So how does it make us feel knowing that the Savior, on occasions, became angry? Do we sense that perhaps Jesus was caught off guard for a moment? So maybe we ought to skip over or dress up those references to his anger. But we can't do that.
One day the chief priest and scribes became hostile toward Jesus because he broke the Sabbath observance in healing a man with a withered hand. The record read, "Jesus looked round at them with anger." And why not? Surely the man was more important than the day of the week.
When Jesus was questioned by the high priest about his disciples and about his preaching, he answered with a tinge of anger in his voice. "I have always spoken publicly to everyone. I never said anything in secret. Why then do you question me? Question the people who heard me." That's when one of the guards slapped him for talking like that to the high priest.
The reference we most often hear regarding Jesus' anger was when he went into the temple and expressed his anger in action as well as verbally. When he saw what was being done to God's house, he turned over the tables of the money changers. He yelled out at what he saw: "You know what the temple is to be used for. You know that well. It is etched in your minds." Then he stood there and cried angrily, "You know this place is to be used as a house of prayer. You use it as a den of thieves." He was angry.
What makes us angry? That's the end question. Job was angry about his condition. Jesus got angry about issues -- not at people, but at issues. He was angry at the burden inflicted upon people because of the greed and injustice of others.
Most of us have been able to identify with Job and with Jesus as we've watched them over the past Sundays. Can we identify with them in their anger?
Let me say very clearly that there is no sin in being angry. The sin is to pretend it is not there, to let it seethe underneath until it comes out as passive aggressiveness. The sin is to let anger be directed against people and not against issues and conditions. The sin is to nurse anger in our relationships, feeding it more and more grievances without facing the situation honestly and squarely. Nursed anger becomes hate. And then love is entirely defeated in us because hate is the zero of love.
There are three things that I sense are important for us in facing our anger. First, it is important for us to recognize that we do get angry. And at the same time to recognize that we are vulnerable to someone else's anger. We need to recognize that we can be the object of another person's anger. I talked with a minister who asked to be moved from his church. He made the request because of the friction between those who responded to his ministry and those who did not. "It's been miserable for the past six months," he said. "How do you handle opposition?"
"Refuse to be an enemy" was my advice to that clergy person. "Refuse to let those who do not respond to your ministry make you their enemy. Refuse to be an enemy."
That is not denying anger. But that's a way to control it.
Secondly, I think it's important that we make sure our anger is addressed to issues, not to people. Suppose someone does something we do not like. If we look at the situation from their perspective, maybe we would view it differently. Usually there are two sides to every issue, and seldom are they equal. There is often more wrong on one side than the other. We must not spend time accumulating a list of people on the other side of an issue whom we dislike. We are free to oppose any issue, but we need not hate the persons who support it. If we hate the person, we must forget the issue. Jesus dealt with issues. And we must make sure that our anger is addressed to issues, not to people.
The third thing is this: don't bottle up anger, for unfaced anger leads to resentment and hostility.
I have found two effective ways of expressing anger and getting it under control. Sometimes I write it down, identify it, put it out before me, and see what it looks like in black and white, as if it were someone else's anger.
And sometimes I talk it over with a trusted friend. This friend can help me look at the cause of my anger and change what is upsetting me.
I am like Job. I often cry out to God from the depths of my agony. At such times I feel God's presence very keenly, and I know that I have come in contact with One who is able to bear the burden of my anger and distress. I know that Jesus, the crucified one, knows and understands this agony and will sustain me.
