On A Picnic
Drama
Lectionary Scenes
58 Vignettes For Cycle B
Theme:
Speaking about love is always a lot easier than loving.
Summary:
Todd is taking Mandi on a picnic. This sounds like a wonderful way to spend a lovely afternoon, but the path of love is never smooth and Todd is more concerned about his love poem than he is about his love object -- Mandi. Todd has a nasty habit of couching everything in spiritual terms and not meaning any of it. Mandi trusts Todd because she mistakenly thinks he cares for her. When she finds out he doesn't, she leaves him.
Playing Time
3 1/2 minutes
Setting
A secluded picnic spot deep in the forest
Time
Turn of the century
Props
A picnic basket and blanket and other picnic things
Costumes
Mandi -- a long dress and a long-sleeved, high neck blouse
Todd -- appropriate summer wear for the turn of the century
Cast
MANDI -- a lovely young girl
TODD -- her male companion
TODD: (ENTERS AND CROSSES TO CENTER STAGE CARRYING ONLY HIS LOVE POEM. MANDI AND TODD SPEAK TO EACH OTHER IN LOVEY-DOVEY TONES THROUGHOUT) Mandi, my love potion, this is a secluded portion of God's own paradise. A little retreat from the humdrum of everyday life. Our love will last forever, my darling, and this is the perfect spot for our love tryst.
MANDI: (ENTERS STRUGGLING WITH A PICNIC BASKET AND OTHER THINGS AND CROSSES TO TODD) Oh, Toddy, my darling, love, why ever did you choose this place for our picnic? (DROPPING SOME OF THE MANY THINGS SHE IS CARRYING) Toddy, love dumpling, may I be so bold as to remind you that we have been walking for an hour now in God's paradise?
TODD: Certainly, heart of my heart, you may so remind me.
MANDI: Then, I do so remind you, my sweet-faced pumpkin. May I also remind you that my feet are sore?
TODD: And could I please bring to your attention, delight of my eyes, that you have dropped some of the things that you were carrying?
MANDI: Yes, of course you could bring such a catastrophe to my attention, because you are the conqueror of my heart, you are my Atilla the honey. (TWEAKING HIM UNDER THE CHIN)
TODD: (PICKING UP THE DROPPED THINGS AND PLACING THEM BACK IN MANDI'S ARMS) Here, let me be of assistance to you, my flower of exquisite beauty, my daisy of delightfulness.
MANDI: Thank you so very much. You are the ever-helpful one. You are the treasure at the end of my rainbow of desire. (SHE BUMPS INTO TODD)
TODD: And now, dreadnaught of delectableness, we can continue our journey. And when we reach our destination I will tell you of my great love by means of a love poem that I have created which was inspired by God.
MANDI: Toddy, my sweet pea, could we stop in this lovely glen and partake of the food which we have been carrying for a mile or more?
TODD: Yes, of course, if you so wish, my passion flower. It is in this place that I will recite my love poem inspired by the Creator of this paradise.
MANDI: I do so wish to stop here, my precious jewel, the sapphire of my desire. (RELEASING HER LOAD) Whew!
TODD: Then we will disencumber ourselves of this paraphernalia and share each with the other that which we have brought, my dearest, delightsome delfinium.
MANDI: (SHE SITS AND REMOVES HER SHOES ALTHOUGH TODD DOES NOT NOTICE BECAUSE HE IS INTERESTED IN HIS POEM) I think that this is a most enchanting glade. We shall enjoy each other and our repast, my affecionate confectionary, my chocolate-covered love-berry.
TODD: Mandi, you are the cucumber of my contentment, but may I suggest, my engaging expression of excitement, that we must not sit.
MANDI: (SHE STANDS AND REFRESHES HER FEET BY WALKING BAREFOOTED) You may so suggest, my most excellent, extravagant, exceedingly exquisite exchequer of my heart's treasure.
TODD: Then I do so suggest, my entrancing enchantress.
MANDI: I know you are ever-wise, my Solomon of snuggledom, but may I inquire why it is that we may not sit?
TODD: Of course, you may so inquire, my luscious, luxuriant lullaby of loveliness.
MANDI: Then I do so inquire, my tantalizing tweedle-tweaker.
TODD: My winsomeness, we should stand in the presence of such lovely natural beauty.
MANDI: Here in this delightful glen, my sweet feet?
TODD: Yes, my entrancing seductress.
MANDI: But why should we not sit? Do I hear you correctly, my alluring one?
TODD: You do indeed hear correctly, oh rapturous, rhapsodic romancer. We must not sit because there might, perchance, be poison ivy growing here.
MANDI: Oh, no! (SHE CROSSES RIGHT AND PUTS HER SHOES ON AS BEST SHE CAN WITHOUT SITTING) Can you identify poison ivy, my beloved blinker wink?
TODD: Why, no, I cannot, my questioning cutie.
MANDI: Am I to understand that we transported this entire collection of picnic paraphernalia a mile or so, all the fried chicken and potato salad that I prepared with my own two willing hands, and we are to partake of it standing all the while, my love cruncher?
TODD: Alas, it must be so, my irresistible, impassioned one.
MANDI: Allow me to inform you, my infatuated paramour, in a manner of speaking, I will not stand for it. (MANDI BEGINS TO EXIT)
TODD: But Mandi, my petulant pearl of great price, who will help me carry these many things back?
MANDI: (EXITING) May I suggest, my charming circus of circumstance, that you make two trips, and be advised that I will not be your companion on either one of them. (TWEAKING HIS CHEEK)
TODD: I thought God's paradise would be more hospitable. Paradise could be attained in this world if only everyone were more like me. Ah, well, I never liked her much anyway. (TEARING UP HIS LOVE POEM. GATHERING UP EVERYTHING AND EXITING)
Speaking about love is always a lot easier than loving.
Summary:
Todd is taking Mandi on a picnic. This sounds like a wonderful way to spend a lovely afternoon, but the path of love is never smooth and Todd is more concerned about his love poem than he is about his love object -- Mandi. Todd has a nasty habit of couching everything in spiritual terms and not meaning any of it. Mandi trusts Todd because she mistakenly thinks he cares for her. When she finds out he doesn't, she leaves him.
Playing Time
3 1/2 minutes
Setting
A secluded picnic spot deep in the forest
Time
Turn of the century
Props
A picnic basket and blanket and other picnic things
Costumes
Mandi -- a long dress and a long-sleeved, high neck blouse
Todd -- appropriate summer wear for the turn of the century
Cast
MANDI -- a lovely young girl
TODD -- her male companion
TODD: (ENTERS AND CROSSES TO CENTER STAGE CARRYING ONLY HIS LOVE POEM. MANDI AND TODD SPEAK TO EACH OTHER IN LOVEY-DOVEY TONES THROUGHOUT) Mandi, my love potion, this is a secluded portion of God's own paradise. A little retreat from the humdrum of everyday life. Our love will last forever, my darling, and this is the perfect spot for our love tryst.
MANDI: (ENTERS STRUGGLING WITH A PICNIC BASKET AND OTHER THINGS AND CROSSES TO TODD) Oh, Toddy, my darling, love, why ever did you choose this place for our picnic? (DROPPING SOME OF THE MANY THINGS SHE IS CARRYING) Toddy, love dumpling, may I be so bold as to remind you that we have been walking for an hour now in God's paradise?
TODD: Certainly, heart of my heart, you may so remind me.
MANDI: Then, I do so remind you, my sweet-faced pumpkin. May I also remind you that my feet are sore?
TODD: And could I please bring to your attention, delight of my eyes, that you have dropped some of the things that you were carrying?
MANDI: Yes, of course you could bring such a catastrophe to my attention, because you are the conqueror of my heart, you are my Atilla the honey. (TWEAKING HIM UNDER THE CHIN)
TODD: (PICKING UP THE DROPPED THINGS AND PLACING THEM BACK IN MANDI'S ARMS) Here, let me be of assistance to you, my flower of exquisite beauty, my daisy of delightfulness.
MANDI: Thank you so very much. You are the ever-helpful one. You are the treasure at the end of my rainbow of desire. (SHE BUMPS INTO TODD)
TODD: And now, dreadnaught of delectableness, we can continue our journey. And when we reach our destination I will tell you of my great love by means of a love poem that I have created which was inspired by God.
MANDI: Toddy, my sweet pea, could we stop in this lovely glen and partake of the food which we have been carrying for a mile or more?
TODD: Yes, of course, if you so wish, my passion flower. It is in this place that I will recite my love poem inspired by the Creator of this paradise.
MANDI: I do so wish to stop here, my precious jewel, the sapphire of my desire. (RELEASING HER LOAD) Whew!
TODD: Then we will disencumber ourselves of this paraphernalia and share each with the other that which we have brought, my dearest, delightsome delfinium.
MANDI: (SHE SITS AND REMOVES HER SHOES ALTHOUGH TODD DOES NOT NOTICE BECAUSE HE IS INTERESTED IN HIS POEM) I think that this is a most enchanting glade. We shall enjoy each other and our repast, my affecionate confectionary, my chocolate-covered love-berry.
TODD: Mandi, you are the cucumber of my contentment, but may I suggest, my engaging expression of excitement, that we must not sit.
MANDI: (SHE STANDS AND REFRESHES HER FEET BY WALKING BAREFOOTED) You may so suggest, my most excellent, extravagant, exceedingly exquisite exchequer of my heart's treasure.
TODD: Then I do so suggest, my entrancing enchantress.
MANDI: I know you are ever-wise, my Solomon of snuggledom, but may I inquire why it is that we may not sit?
TODD: Of course, you may so inquire, my luscious, luxuriant lullaby of loveliness.
MANDI: Then I do so inquire, my tantalizing tweedle-tweaker.
TODD: My winsomeness, we should stand in the presence of such lovely natural beauty.
MANDI: Here in this delightful glen, my sweet feet?
TODD: Yes, my entrancing seductress.
MANDI: But why should we not sit? Do I hear you correctly, my alluring one?
TODD: You do indeed hear correctly, oh rapturous, rhapsodic romancer. We must not sit because there might, perchance, be poison ivy growing here.
MANDI: Oh, no! (SHE CROSSES RIGHT AND PUTS HER SHOES ON AS BEST SHE CAN WITHOUT SITTING) Can you identify poison ivy, my beloved blinker wink?
TODD: Why, no, I cannot, my questioning cutie.
MANDI: Am I to understand that we transported this entire collection of picnic paraphernalia a mile or so, all the fried chicken and potato salad that I prepared with my own two willing hands, and we are to partake of it standing all the while, my love cruncher?
TODD: Alas, it must be so, my irresistible, impassioned one.
MANDI: Allow me to inform you, my infatuated paramour, in a manner of speaking, I will not stand for it. (MANDI BEGINS TO EXIT)
TODD: But Mandi, my petulant pearl of great price, who will help me carry these many things back?
MANDI: (EXITING) May I suggest, my charming circus of circumstance, that you make two trips, and be advised that I will not be your companion on either one of them. (TWEAKING HIS CHEEK)
TODD: I thought God's paradise would be more hospitable. Paradise could be attained in this world if only everyone were more like me. Ah, well, I never liked her much anyway. (TEARING UP HIS LOVE POEM. GATHERING UP EVERYTHING AND EXITING)
