One-Liners
Humor
Why Didn't Noah Swat Both Mosquitoes?
Plus Other Humorous Stories For Clergy
Yogi Berra: "If people don't want to come to the ball game,
there's no way you can stop them."
"You are only young once, but you can remain immature all your
life."
From Jerry Glanville, former coach of the NFL Houston Oilers:
"When I was born, the doctor looked at me and spanked my mom."
On a 300-pound player he cut from the squad, "This guy was so
fat it looked like someone sat in his lap and didn't leave."
On why he would never own a horse, "I don't want to keep
anything that eats while I'm sleeping, including a wife."
When Glanville got to Houston in 1984, he says, "We had the
nicest guys in the NFL. Their mamas loved 'em. Their daddies
loved 'em. But they wouldn't hit if you handed 'em sticks."
Sports Illustrated
"There's no place like home, which is why motels are so popular."
"Every man has his price and mine is extremely low."
"A penny saved is hardly worth the effort."
"Beauty is skin deep, which is adequate as far as I'm concerned."
"Let sleeping dogs lie, they seldom tell the truth anyway."
"Where there's a will, there's a wave of nieces and nephews."
"You can't take it with you, but you can sure have fun with it
while you're here."
"He who laughs last won't be with the company for long."
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there's no way you can stop them."
"You are only young once, but you can remain immature all your
life."
From Jerry Glanville, former coach of the NFL Houston Oilers:
"When I was born, the doctor looked at me and spanked my mom."
On a 300-pound player he cut from the squad, "This guy was so
fat it looked like someone sat in his lap and didn't leave."
On why he would never own a horse, "I don't want to keep
anything that eats while I'm sleeping, including a wife."
When Glanville got to Houston in 1984, he says, "We had the
nicest guys in the NFL. Their mamas loved 'em. Their daddies
loved 'em. But they wouldn't hit if you handed 'em sticks."
Sports Illustrated
"There's no place like home, which is why motels are so popular."
"Every man has his price and mine is extremely low."
"A penny saved is hardly worth the effort."
"Beauty is skin deep, which is adequate as far as I'm concerned."
"Let sleeping dogs lie, they seldom tell the truth anyway."
"Where there's a will, there's a wave of nieces and nephews."
"You can't take it with you, but you can sure have fun with it
while you're here."
"He who laughs last won't be with the company for long."
71
