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Unloved and unlovable. The woman I was a few short years ago would not be standing before you tonight sharing the love of Jesus and the saving grace of God. Even if I had wanted to be in this house of worship, you would not have permitted the woman I was to have stood before you. I don't blame you if you still have doubts about me. I sometimes doubt myself and think that my new life in Christ is all a dream, that the miracle of redemption did not occur, and that I will return to my iniquity. But when these thoughts come to me, I think of Jesus and know the miracle of being a new creature in him.

I recognize some of you; you who, when you saw me on the street, would cross to the other side. You, men and women together, who publicly scorned me and wanted to stone me to death for my sins. And, yes, I see some of you men who now turn away, hoping that I will not see you. Those of you who condemned me and yet sought out my pleasures in the dark of night. Be that as it may. I now stand before you, a miracle. I, who judged myself much more harshly than any of you ever could; I, a prisoner of the flesh within me and convinced that I was unworthy to be forgiven, live now as a devoted follower of Jesus.

I am a Galilean from the city of Magdala. You know the place. It is an important trading center at the southern end of the Plain of Gennesaret. Many wealthy merchants pass through our city with money to spend on women and wine. I was available and was sought out because of my reputation. I drank with the best of them and gave myself totally to lust. No depravity was beyond me, for I was slave to the demons that possessed me. I lived only for pleasure and for the joy of possessing the money and gifts given to me by men. But the day came when there was neither joy nor pleasure. I became consumed by guilt and broken in spirit. I had neither the strength nor courage to break away from the life I led. It was at the point of total despair, when I thought often of taking my own life to end my wretched sickness of soul, that I was approached by some women who were followers of a new prophet in Galilee. You can imagine my surprise to find that anyone, especially women, were concerned for my soul. And yet Johanna, the wife of Herod's business manager, and Susanna, a prominent woman of Galilee, and other women of means who had been physically and spiritually supporting the prophet and his disciples, pleaded with me to go with them to hear Jesus. I was reluctant; I knew I was hopeless. But then James, one of the disciples of the prophet, came to see me. I fully expected him to condemn me; condemnation was all that I had ever known. Instead, James treated me kindly and encouraged me to hear Jesus speak, at least once. I was so sick in body and soul that it was only with the love and acceptance of James, and the support of the women that I was able to set out to see this man Jesus. I now know that if I had anywhere else to turn, I would certainly not have turned to a man who many branded a fanatic and worse.

Jesus was speaking on a mountain, just beyond Gabara. Crowds were camped around the hillside and there were scores of the sick and the lame, and those possessed by demons. Because of my shame, I tried to hide in the crowd but my friends pushed me forward so that I could better see and hear. When I first saw Jesus, I was struck by his appearance. It was not so much that he was handsome. I had been with many men much more handsome than he. But when he looked at me, I felt that he could see into my very soul. His eyes were so filled with a love and understanding that I could not turn away, although that was my inclination. It had been a very long time since I had been able to look into the eyes of anyone. Jesus was so mild in manner and yet spoke with such power and authority that he held the attention of the most impatient and unruly. He quoted the Prophets and spoke of repentance. He proved the coming of the Messiah by explaining how the Old Testament prophecies had been fulfilled. He spoke with great love and respect of John the Baptist, who he said had prepared his way. And then Jesus spoke of sin. He listed the vices of the people, our hypocrisy, our apathy, our pride, and our idolatry of the sinful flesh. When he spoke, especially of the sinful flesh, I cringed. I was too aware of my sins and, at that moment, I realized that this man also knew everything that there was to know about my life. It was as though he was speaking directly to me. I then expected to be condemned, but instead, with a love I had never known, Jesus invited all sinners to come to him. He implored God to touch the hearts of people that even one, though burdened by guilt, would come to him. With tears in his eyes, he said he would give all -- yes, even his life -- to purchase one soul. I wanted to go to him when he reached out to me in my pain and isolation. But I was too ashamed to accept the gift he so freely offered.

Although I couldn't bring myself to go to Jesus, neither could I let him walk out of my life. Several other women and I followed him to the home of Simon the Pharisee who had invited him to dinner. As Jesus sat down to eat, I surprised myself by boldly pushing through the crowd of men. I clutched in my hand a bottle of expensive perfume which I had brought with me and which I intended to give to him as a gift. Despite the grumblings, I let nothing hold me back. I had seen hope in the person and the words of Jesus. When I reached him, I knelt at his feet, crying. My tears were a prayer which Jesus heard. My tears fell on his feet and I wiped them with my hair and kissed them. I was so overcome with joy and wanted somehow to show him my love. I poured the perfume on his feet. When Simon saw Jesus permitting me to honor him in this way, he shouted that this proved that Jesus was not who he claimed to be. For if he were, he would know what kind of a woman I was and would condemn me instead of letting me minister to him. Jesus turned to Simon and said that he had not shown Jesus the courtesy of offering him water to wash the dust from his feet and, yet, that I had washed his feet with my tears and dried them with my hair; that Simon had neglected the courtesy of olive oil to anoint his head but that I had covered his feet with expensive perfume. Jesus then said that my sins -- which were many -- were forgiven, for I loved him much. He turned to the crowd sitting at dinner and told them that one who is forgiven little, shows little love. Jesus then helped me to my feet, looked deeply into my eyes, and told me that my sins were forgiven. He held my hand and said that my faith had saved me and for me to go in peace.

I didn't know what to make of this man. He loved me unconditionally; me, who had never known love and had despaired of ever being accepted and loved for who I am. I had always been the object of lust and base desires. When Jesus forgave me, I felt forgiven and longed to be with him always. My heart was full of Christ, and my love could be satisfied with nothing short of Jesus. I accompanied him throughout Galilee and, along with several other women, cared for his needs and those of his followers. Jesus and the twelve had no means of support because they had devoted their life to furthering the Kingdom of God. The fishermen had left their nets, the farmers their fields, and Jesus, himself, had put aside his carpenter tools. Were it not for the women of Galilee, these brave and dedicated men would have often gone hungry. I am continually amazed by the reality that the eternal God became a man who walked the earth. I am still trying to accept and understand the truth about Christ and his mission. He has said that he will not be with us very long. Yet, he said that he will be with us always. I am often confused but I know that I don't have to understand to believe. I don't understand how I could became a new person, more in the likeness of Jesus; but that's exactly what happened. I live to be his disciple and to learn to love him as he loves me.

TO GOD BE THE GLORY