In The Heavenly Places
Drama
Lectionary Scenes
58 Vignettes For Cycle B
Theme
It is best to have all the answers about how to enter heaven before you need them.
Summary
It's never stated in the Bible that entrance into heaven is easy. Two candidates lining up at the pearly gates express two opposing views, one quite worldly and the other simply trusting in Jesus. But who is this third person helping the worldly-wise person? He seems to have all the answers. Are the answers any good?
Playing Time
5 1/2 minutes
Setting
Just this side of Heaven's pearly gates
Props
None
Costumes
Street clothes except for Jesus, who wears a robe
Time
The present
Cast
BOOT -- a confident candidate for heaven
WILY -- an unsure candidate
DICK -- he's got all the answers
JESUS
BOOT: (WILY ENTERS FOLLOWED BY DICK AND BOOT. DICK IS GUIDING WILY TO A PLACE WHERE JESUS WILL ENTER. BOOT IS MARCHING, COUNTING CADENCE) I don't know, but I've been told, the streets up there are paved with gold. Sound off. One, two. Sound off. Three, four.
WILY: Oh, no. Not another one of those.
DICK: Don't pay any attention to him.
BOOT: Sound off. One, two. Sound off. Three, four.
WILY: They drive me crazy.
DICK: Try not to think about him. Concentrate.
BOOT: I don't know but it must be so, everybody wants to go.
WILY: He makes me nervous.
DICK: Forget him.
WILY: Okay, okay. But it's really difficult with that going on in my ear.
DICK: Remember what I told you.
WILY: I sure hope I do remember.
BOOT: Sound off. One, two. Sound off. Three, four.
DICK: All right, what if He (MOTIONING TOWARD THE GATE) asks you about your life?
WILY: I've got the answer for that, all right. I'll just say I've led a good life. That's an easy one.
DICK: That's pretty good. You studied the manual, didn't you?
WILY: I studied a lot. But I'm not so good at remembering things.
DICK: Well, that's okay. I'm right here to help you out when you get in a jam. I've got all the answers.
BOOT: Sound off. One, two, three, four. One, two, THREE, FOUR.
WILY: I'm telling you, that guy makes me nervous.
DICK: You have no reason to be nervous.
WILY: That's easy for you to say. Of course I'm nervous. Anyone would be nervous. I've got to say just the right thing so God will let me into heaven. You bet I'm nervous. I'm real nervous.
DICK: Calm down. You've got the answers. Be confident. This is no big deal. Don't ever let God see you sweat.
WILY: Are you nuts? This is a big deal, the biggest deal. I want to make sure I get in.
BOOT: I don't know but I've heard it said, to get up here you gotta be dead.
WILY: (TO BOOT) Stop it! (TO DICK) Make him stop it!
BOOT: What's wrong?
WILY: Your singing. It makes me nervous.
BOOT: Nervous, about what?
WILY: About getting into heaven, of course. Aren't you nervous?
BOOT: Not really.
WILY: It really makes me nervous when people talk about death.
BOOT: Why?
WILY: Why? Just because death is spooky. That's why.
BOOT: And why is death spooky?
WILY: It just is and everyone knows it and if you don't you're weird.
BOOT: Well, I'm sorry if I made you nervous. I won't march anymore. I just get excited when I think about heaven and being with Jesus and all the saints and whatever we'll be doing there. Doesn't that excite you?
WILY: I'm just worried about getting in.
DICK: I told you not to worry. (TO BOOT) And you, BUTT OUT!
BOOT: Sorry.
DICK: There, now, that seems to have taken care of that.
WILY: I'm still nervous.
DICK: Okay, a little refresher: What if He (MOTIONING TOWARD THE GATE) asks you why He should let you into His heaven?
WILY: I'll just say, "Because I've become a better person than I used to be. I've climbed the ladder of spiritual holiness, learning to be better every day."
DICK: Very good. You see, you don't have a thing to worry about.
WILY: I do feel better.
DICK: Good. Now, remember the scales?
WILY: Yes, yes, the scales. Let me see. Ah, yes, I remember. I could answer that I have done a lot of good things in my life and when God weighs those things on a scale that they will far outweigh the bad things in my life.
DICK: (PROMPTING WILY) And that you have lots of friends ...
WILY: Oh, yes. And I have lots of friends praying for me to get into heaven.
DICK: Good. Good.
WILY: Here comes someone.
BOOT: It's Jesus.
WILY: How do you know?
BOOT: I just know. It's Jesus, all right.
DICK: It's Jesus, all right.
JESUS: (ENTERS AND CROSSES TO OTHERS) Two more people wanting to get into heaven.
BOOT: Yes, Lord.
WILY: Are you Jesus?
JESUS: I am.
WILY: I'm ready for any question you might ask me.
JESUS: I'm sorry, but you can't enter heaven.
WILY: I searched for God in my own way but I searched with all my heart.
JESUS: You were deceived. I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. (TO BOOT) You are welcome, my son.
WILY: (TO BOOT) Why are you allowed to enter heaven?
BOOT: Well, I trust Jesus.
JESUS: And he has for a long time. Welcome, son. (JESUS HUGS BOOT)
WILY: But Jesus, please, I want to enter heaven with all my heart. Please, have a heart.
JESUS: No.
WILY: But I was brought here by this angel of light. I thought that was supposed to happen to me when I died.
JESUS: It does look like an angel of light, doesn't it.
DICK: I am an angel of light.
WILY: There, you see.
JESUS: Only to those who want to see you that way. Get out of here now, and take your victim with you.
WILY: (AS SHE IS BEING LED AWAY BY DICK) Oh, no. I trusted you and you tricked me. O-o-o-h, n-o-o!
DICK: Right. It's still working.
WILY: But why? Why did you take me to heaven if you knew I couldn't get in? Why?
DICK: (LEADING WILY OFF TO HER FATE) It's the first and the best torment.
BOOT: (AS HE CROSSES TO JESUS, SINGING) I don't know but as I roam, this here place sure feels like home. Sound off, one, two. (BOOT AND JESUS CROSS TOWARD HEAVEN)
It is best to have all the answers about how to enter heaven before you need them.
Summary
It's never stated in the Bible that entrance into heaven is easy. Two candidates lining up at the pearly gates express two opposing views, one quite worldly and the other simply trusting in Jesus. But who is this third person helping the worldly-wise person? He seems to have all the answers. Are the answers any good?
Playing Time
5 1/2 minutes
Setting
Just this side of Heaven's pearly gates
Props
None
Costumes
Street clothes except for Jesus, who wears a robe
Time
The present
Cast
BOOT -- a confident candidate for heaven
WILY -- an unsure candidate
DICK -- he's got all the answers
JESUS
BOOT: (WILY ENTERS FOLLOWED BY DICK AND BOOT. DICK IS GUIDING WILY TO A PLACE WHERE JESUS WILL ENTER. BOOT IS MARCHING, COUNTING CADENCE) I don't know, but I've been told, the streets up there are paved with gold. Sound off. One, two. Sound off. Three, four.
WILY: Oh, no. Not another one of those.
DICK: Don't pay any attention to him.
BOOT: Sound off. One, two. Sound off. Three, four.
WILY: They drive me crazy.
DICK: Try not to think about him. Concentrate.
BOOT: I don't know but it must be so, everybody wants to go.
WILY: He makes me nervous.
DICK: Forget him.
WILY: Okay, okay. But it's really difficult with that going on in my ear.
DICK: Remember what I told you.
WILY: I sure hope I do remember.
BOOT: Sound off. One, two. Sound off. Three, four.
DICK: All right, what if He (MOTIONING TOWARD THE GATE) asks you about your life?
WILY: I've got the answer for that, all right. I'll just say I've led a good life. That's an easy one.
DICK: That's pretty good. You studied the manual, didn't you?
WILY: I studied a lot. But I'm not so good at remembering things.
DICK: Well, that's okay. I'm right here to help you out when you get in a jam. I've got all the answers.
BOOT: Sound off. One, two, three, four. One, two, THREE, FOUR.
WILY: I'm telling you, that guy makes me nervous.
DICK: You have no reason to be nervous.
WILY: That's easy for you to say. Of course I'm nervous. Anyone would be nervous. I've got to say just the right thing so God will let me into heaven. You bet I'm nervous. I'm real nervous.
DICK: Calm down. You've got the answers. Be confident. This is no big deal. Don't ever let God see you sweat.
WILY: Are you nuts? This is a big deal, the biggest deal. I want to make sure I get in.
BOOT: I don't know but I've heard it said, to get up here you gotta be dead.
WILY: (TO BOOT) Stop it! (TO DICK) Make him stop it!
BOOT: What's wrong?
WILY: Your singing. It makes me nervous.
BOOT: Nervous, about what?
WILY: About getting into heaven, of course. Aren't you nervous?
BOOT: Not really.
WILY: It really makes me nervous when people talk about death.
BOOT: Why?
WILY: Why? Just because death is spooky. That's why.
BOOT: And why is death spooky?
WILY: It just is and everyone knows it and if you don't you're weird.
BOOT: Well, I'm sorry if I made you nervous. I won't march anymore. I just get excited when I think about heaven and being with Jesus and all the saints and whatever we'll be doing there. Doesn't that excite you?
WILY: I'm just worried about getting in.
DICK: I told you not to worry. (TO BOOT) And you, BUTT OUT!
BOOT: Sorry.
DICK: There, now, that seems to have taken care of that.
WILY: I'm still nervous.
DICK: Okay, a little refresher: What if He (MOTIONING TOWARD THE GATE) asks you why He should let you into His heaven?
WILY: I'll just say, "Because I've become a better person than I used to be. I've climbed the ladder of spiritual holiness, learning to be better every day."
DICK: Very good. You see, you don't have a thing to worry about.
WILY: I do feel better.
DICK: Good. Now, remember the scales?
WILY: Yes, yes, the scales. Let me see. Ah, yes, I remember. I could answer that I have done a lot of good things in my life and when God weighs those things on a scale that they will far outweigh the bad things in my life.
DICK: (PROMPTING WILY) And that you have lots of friends ...
WILY: Oh, yes. And I have lots of friends praying for me to get into heaven.
DICK: Good. Good.
WILY: Here comes someone.
BOOT: It's Jesus.
WILY: How do you know?
BOOT: I just know. It's Jesus, all right.
DICK: It's Jesus, all right.
JESUS: (ENTERS AND CROSSES TO OTHERS) Two more people wanting to get into heaven.
BOOT: Yes, Lord.
WILY: Are you Jesus?
JESUS: I am.
WILY: I'm ready for any question you might ask me.
JESUS: I'm sorry, but you can't enter heaven.
WILY: I searched for God in my own way but I searched with all my heart.
JESUS: You were deceived. I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. (TO BOOT) You are welcome, my son.
WILY: (TO BOOT) Why are you allowed to enter heaven?
BOOT: Well, I trust Jesus.
JESUS: And he has for a long time. Welcome, son. (JESUS HUGS BOOT)
WILY: But Jesus, please, I want to enter heaven with all my heart. Please, have a heart.
JESUS: No.
WILY: But I was brought here by this angel of light. I thought that was supposed to happen to me when I died.
JESUS: It does look like an angel of light, doesn't it.
DICK: I am an angel of light.
WILY: There, you see.
JESUS: Only to those who want to see you that way. Get out of here now, and take your victim with you.
WILY: (AS SHE IS BEING LED AWAY BY DICK) Oh, no. I trusted you and you tricked me. O-o-o-h, n-o-o!
DICK: Right. It's still working.
WILY: But why? Why did you take me to heaven if you knew I couldn't get in? Why?
DICK: (LEADING WILY OFF TO HER FATE) It's the first and the best torment.
BOOT: (AS HE CROSSES TO JESUS, SINGING) I don't know but as I roam, this here place sure feels like home. Sound off, one, two. (BOOT AND JESUS CROSS TOWARD HEAVEN)

