God
Humor
Why Didn't Noah Swat Both Mosquitoes?
Plus Other Humorous Stories For Clergy
A little boy one day wrote a letter to God. In it he said,
"Dear Mr. God: How do you feel about people who don't believe in
you?" He signed his name and then added a post script, "Somebody
else wants to know."
Clarence Forsberg
An old farmer and his wife were "sitting out" an electrical
storm. He chewed away on his tobacco and occasionally lifted the
stove lid to spit into the fire. His wife sat there wringing her
hands, very much afraid.
After lightning had struck a nearby tree, she wailed, "Pa, the
Lord's goin' to destroy the world."
"Wal," said Pa, "it's his'n, ain't it?"
Quote
A cub reporter was sent out from New York to cover the
Johnstown flood. He wired back his first story with this lead
line, "God sits on the hillside above Johnstown tonight, and
weeps --"
A reply wire soon arrived from his editor which said, "Forget
the flood, get an interview with God."
Heard in the 1960s
It was in the days of the open Pullman car on trains. The
little girl was in an upper berth while her parents occupied the
berth just beneath her. She was afraid and kept asking her
54
mother if she was there, and then her father if he was there.
This went on for some time, keeping the whole sleeping car
personnel awake.
Finally, one man in a berth across the aisle called out,
"Little girl, your mother is here, your father is here, I am
here, we are all here. Will you please be quiet and go to sleep!"
After a moment, in a weak voice the child asked, "Mama, was
that God?"
H.R.
In Sunday school the little girl said God was in their
bathroom at home. When pressed for details, she explained simply,
"Every morning, my father comes out in the hall and bangs on the
bathroom door and says, 'God, are you still in there?' "
My sister, Mary Masterson (at age 7)
"Dear Mr. God: How do you feel about people who don't believe in
you?" He signed his name and then added a post script, "Somebody
else wants to know."
Clarence Forsberg
An old farmer and his wife were "sitting out" an electrical
storm. He chewed away on his tobacco and occasionally lifted the
stove lid to spit into the fire. His wife sat there wringing her
hands, very much afraid.
After lightning had struck a nearby tree, she wailed, "Pa, the
Lord's goin' to destroy the world."
"Wal," said Pa, "it's his'n, ain't it?"
Quote
A cub reporter was sent out from New York to cover the
Johnstown flood. He wired back his first story with this lead
line, "God sits on the hillside above Johnstown tonight, and
weeps --"
A reply wire soon arrived from his editor which said, "Forget
the flood, get an interview with God."
Heard in the 1960s
It was in the days of the open Pullman car on trains. The
little girl was in an upper berth while her parents occupied the
berth just beneath her. She was afraid and kept asking her
54
mother if she was there, and then her father if he was there.
This went on for some time, keeping the whole sleeping car
personnel awake.
Finally, one man in a berth across the aisle called out,
"Little girl, your mother is here, your father is here, I am
here, we are all here. Will you please be quiet and go to sleep!"
After a moment, in a weak voice the child asked, "Mama, was
that God?"
H.R.
In Sunday school the little girl said God was in their
bathroom at home. When pressed for details, she explained simply,
"Every morning, my father comes out in the hall and bangs on the
bathroom door and says, 'God, are you still in there?' "
My sister, Mary Masterson (at age 7)
