Deciding To Love
Sermon
Wedding Sermons And Marriage Ceremonies
(for a marriage after divorce)
Listen to these words of Scripture as they are found in Paul's First Letter to the Corinthians, chapter 13 (NRSV):
Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends... When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.
Just think, (Bride) and (Groom), about a year ago, you each thought you could never love again. You had been hurt and disappointed by "love." But the end of previous relationships did not mean the end of love. Paul was right: "Love never ends." And so we rejoice to be here with you to celebrate God's healing in your hearts and the wonderful reawakening of love you have discovered with one another. We thank God for new beginnings.
(Bride) and (Groom), you already know that love is more than feeling happy when you are together; more than holding hands in the moonlight; more than whispering sweet words and promising to cherish each other forever. Those things are all great! I hope you are experiencing all of them often as you are with one another, because romance and happiness go a long way in a marriage.
But they are like the topping on a dessert: light and pleasant, but not necessarily of lasting value on their own. What you want to focus on as you prepare to say your vows to one another are those things that will give real substance to your life together. To find, as an English professor I had used to say, "the real meat and potatoes of the subject." What are the things that make for fulfilling, lasting love?
According to 1 Corinthians 13, there are some things you will have to let go - little things like rudeness, selfishness, and irritability. "Pass the salt," said with a snarl across the table after a hard day may be forgiven now and then, but if that becomes the manner in which you address your loved one day after day, love may fade and become no more than a dream.
What you will want to add more of to your marriage are simple things like patience and kindness, honesty, humility, and endurance. These are not complicated ideas. The complications arise because we often get to thinking those are the attitudes which the other person needs to develop. Paul is suggesting we need to be mature and look at our own attitudes first. To ask ourselves, "What do I need to do to be more loving?"
Love is less a feeling in God's way of defining it, than it is a decision and an action: to decide to stick with the other person even when he or she at this moment is driving you crazy; to decide that forgiveness is better than holding a grudge, even when you have been hurt; to decide for a soft answer or a kind word of encouragement, rather than the cutting comment that first comes to your tongue.
It isn't easy, this kind of love Paul speaks of so eloquently. In fact, without God's help, it is impossible. Such unselfish love is not something we can manufacture on our own. It is a gift, given only to those who are willing to make the commitment to seek God's very best.
The amazing thing is that once you have begun to receive God's love and give it to each other, you may find you just can't stop it. Others around you will begin to see the difference in you and in the way you treat them. The honesty, patience, and unselfishness you show may encourage similar responses in others. Like ripples on a pond, love spreads and touches others in indirect ways you may never even realize. "Love never ends."
(Bride) and (Groom), God has shown you what is possible in your love for each other. I pray that God will give you all the faith, hope, and love you need to continue experiencing God's eternal love, in your marriage and in every other part of your lives. Amen.
Listen to these words of Scripture as they are found in Paul's First Letter to the Corinthians, chapter 13 (NRSV):
Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends... When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.
Just think, (Bride) and (Groom), about a year ago, you each thought you could never love again. You had been hurt and disappointed by "love." But the end of previous relationships did not mean the end of love. Paul was right: "Love never ends." And so we rejoice to be here with you to celebrate God's healing in your hearts and the wonderful reawakening of love you have discovered with one another. We thank God for new beginnings.
(Bride) and (Groom), you already know that love is more than feeling happy when you are together; more than holding hands in the moonlight; more than whispering sweet words and promising to cherish each other forever. Those things are all great! I hope you are experiencing all of them often as you are with one another, because romance and happiness go a long way in a marriage.
But they are like the topping on a dessert: light and pleasant, but not necessarily of lasting value on their own. What you want to focus on as you prepare to say your vows to one another are those things that will give real substance to your life together. To find, as an English professor I had used to say, "the real meat and potatoes of the subject." What are the things that make for fulfilling, lasting love?
According to 1 Corinthians 13, there are some things you will have to let go - little things like rudeness, selfishness, and irritability. "Pass the salt," said with a snarl across the table after a hard day may be forgiven now and then, but if that becomes the manner in which you address your loved one day after day, love may fade and become no more than a dream.
What you will want to add more of to your marriage are simple things like patience and kindness, honesty, humility, and endurance. These are not complicated ideas. The complications arise because we often get to thinking those are the attitudes which the other person needs to develop. Paul is suggesting we need to be mature and look at our own attitudes first. To ask ourselves, "What do I need to do to be more loving?"
Love is less a feeling in God's way of defining it, than it is a decision and an action: to decide to stick with the other person even when he or she at this moment is driving you crazy; to decide that forgiveness is better than holding a grudge, even when you have been hurt; to decide for a soft answer or a kind word of encouragement, rather than the cutting comment that first comes to your tongue.
It isn't easy, this kind of love Paul speaks of so eloquently. In fact, without God's help, it is impossible. Such unselfish love is not something we can manufacture on our own. It is a gift, given only to those who are willing to make the commitment to seek God's very best.
The amazing thing is that once you have begun to receive God's love and give it to each other, you may find you just can't stop it. Others around you will begin to see the difference in you and in the way you treat them. The honesty, patience, and unselfishness you show may encourage similar responses in others. Like ripples on a pond, love spreads and touches others in indirect ways you may never even realize. "Love never ends."
(Bride) and (Groom), God has shown you what is possible in your love for each other. I pray that God will give you all the faith, hope, and love you need to continue experiencing God's eternal love, in your marriage and in every other part of your lives. Amen.
