AAADD
Stories
Lectionary Tales For The Pulpit
Series IV Cycle C
"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his new employees.
"Yes, sir," the new guy replied.
"Well, then, that explains everything," the boss went on, "because after you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped by to see you at your new job." Bada-bing.
Humans are famous for trying to explain themselves.
Some blame their missteps, lack of productivity, or screw-ups on old age or absent-mindedness. Like this guy who claims to have AAADD (Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder). He writes:
I decide to wash the car; I start toward the garage and notice the mail on the table.
Okay, I'm going to wash the car, but first I'm going to go through the mail.
I lay the car keys down on the desk, discard the junk mail, and notice the trashcan is full.
Okay, I'll just put the bills on my desk and take the trashcan out, but since I'm going to be near the mailbox anyway, I'll pay these few bills first.
Now, where is my checkbook? Oops, there's only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk.
Oh, there's the Coke I was drinking. I'm going to look for those checks. But first I have to put my Coke further away from the computer, or maybe I'll pop it into the fridge to keep it cold for a while.
I head towards the kitchen and my flowers catch my eye; they need some water.
I set the Coke on the counter, and uh oh. There are my glasses. I was looking for them all morning. I'd better put them away first.
I fill a container with water and head for the flower pots. Uh oh -- someone left the TV remote in the kitchen. We'll never think to look in the kitchen tonight when we want to watch television, so I'd better put it back in the family room where it belongs.
I splash some water into the pots and onto the floor, I throw the remote onto a soft cushion on the sofa, and I head back down the hall trying to figure out what it was I was going to do.
End of the day: The car isn't washed, the bills are unpaid, the Coke is sitting on the kitchen counter, the flowers are half-watered, the checkbook still only has one check in it, and I can't seem to find my car keys.
When I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I'm baffled because I know I was busy all day long!
So what's our excuse for not getting things done? What cockamamie idea do we have that will utterly convince God that there really is a good excuse for our spiritual laziness?
Jeremiah tried to weasel away from the call of God by referring to his inexperience in both age and locution.
God didn't buy it then, and God isn't buying it now.
"Yes, sir," the new guy replied.
"Well, then, that explains everything," the boss went on, "because after you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped by to see you at your new job." Bada-bing.
Humans are famous for trying to explain themselves.
Some blame their missteps, lack of productivity, or screw-ups on old age or absent-mindedness. Like this guy who claims to have AAADD (Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder). He writes:
I decide to wash the car; I start toward the garage and notice the mail on the table.
Okay, I'm going to wash the car, but first I'm going to go through the mail.
I lay the car keys down on the desk, discard the junk mail, and notice the trashcan is full.
Okay, I'll just put the bills on my desk and take the trashcan out, but since I'm going to be near the mailbox anyway, I'll pay these few bills first.
Now, where is my checkbook? Oops, there's only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk.
Oh, there's the Coke I was drinking. I'm going to look for those checks. But first I have to put my Coke further away from the computer, or maybe I'll pop it into the fridge to keep it cold for a while.
I head towards the kitchen and my flowers catch my eye; they need some water.
I set the Coke on the counter, and uh oh. There are my glasses. I was looking for them all morning. I'd better put them away first.
I fill a container with water and head for the flower pots. Uh oh -- someone left the TV remote in the kitchen. We'll never think to look in the kitchen tonight when we want to watch television, so I'd better put it back in the family room where it belongs.
I splash some water into the pots and onto the floor, I throw the remote onto a soft cushion on the sofa, and I head back down the hall trying to figure out what it was I was going to do.
End of the day: The car isn't washed, the bills are unpaid, the Coke is sitting on the kitchen counter, the flowers are half-watered, the checkbook still only has one check in it, and I can't seem to find my car keys.
When I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I'm baffled because I know I was busy all day long!
So what's our excuse for not getting things done? What cockamamie idea do we have that will utterly convince God that there really is a good excuse for our spiritual laziness?
Jeremiah tried to weasel away from the call of God by referring to his inexperience in both age and locution.
God didn't buy it then, and God isn't buying it now.
