Praxis Finds Himself
Children's Story
Praxis had a problem. It wasn't a problem shared by any of the other pixies, it was his alone. And it was often very embarrassing.
From time to time, Praxis would change colour. Once, when he was sitting alone under a tree feeling rather sad, he noticed he'd turned bright blue. And on another occasion, when one of his pixie friends proudly displayed a new miniature pixie computer in the shape of a daisy, Praxis turned a delicate shade of green. And, when feeling very jealous of his brother who had won a pixie race, Praxis had suddenly become a brilliant and shining yellow.
Most of the time, because he was a happy and healthy pixie, Praxis was the usual shade of pink, albeit a little brighter than most other pixies. He didn't mind that, but it was very uncomfortable when everybody knew exactly what he was feeling because of the colour of his pixie skin. Although sometimes, other pixies were sympathetic, and that was rather nice.
When Praxis was blue, they generally gathered round and did their best to cheer him up. And everybody clapped and shouted and felt much better when he gradually turned pink again. But sometimes, they kept their distance. When he was blazing red, no-one would go near him, for his temper was famous and they knew he was angry. And even when the red died away and changed to a dull, dark grey, they were timid about approaching him, for they all knew how miserable he'd be.
Praxis thought it was very unfair. He never knew what other pixies were thinking or feeling, unless they told him. But the whole world could see how he was, just by looking at him. Sometimes Praxis felt uncomfortable with the others, as though perhaps they were hiding their real feelings. When that happened Praxis felt confused. He didn't know quite where he was with them, and he didn't know what to say or what to do. But he thought it was a very useful ability, and he wished he could hide himself, too.
Praxis wondered whether he could pretend. Perhaps if he tried very hard to think and feel something different, he would be able to control his colour. The very next time he felt sad, he pretended to himself that he was happy. And to his delight, the blue colour began to fade, and was gradually replaced by pink. Praxis was so happy about his achievement, the pink grew brighter and brighter until he glowed in the dark.
When he was alone, Praxis started to work hard at controlling his colour. He learned to change pink to red by pretending to be angry. He learned to change green to pink, by pretending he didn't mind at all what exciting possessions other pixies had. He learned to change yellow to blue by pretending he wasn't really jealous, only sad.
It worked! Even though other pixies could see his colour, now they only saw the colours Praxis allowed them to see.
But after a while, Praxis began to notice he had to work harder and harder at controlling his colour. For some reason he felt sad much more often, and it was tough trying to hide all that blue. The same thing happened with the red. He discovered he was feeling angry much more often, and it wasn't easy hiding his anger. He still only felt jealous or envious occasionally, but the depth of his feelings was so great the colour was always very vivid. His delicate, pale shades seemed to have disappeared.
One day the pixie community had a visitor. A very old, very wise pixie from far away came to stay in the King's toadstool for a few days. Everyone wanted to see the wise old pixie, because they'd heard he was a healer. Pixies who were poorly might get better simply being in his presence. And strangest of all, they whispered to each other that the wise pixie had a colour.
Praxis was astonished, and very curious. He'd thought he was the only pixie in the whole world to have colours. Now, there was someone else! But try as he might, he couldn't discover the wise pixie's colour. Nobody seemed to know. It was probably, thought Praxis, because the wise pixie changed colours just like he did.
Praxis resolved to see for himself. Although he wasn't ill, and therefore had no right to visit the wise old pixie, he decided to creep in at the back door of the toadstool and hide in the shadows. But he was very disappointed, for when the wise old pixie came in view, Praxis saw he had no colour at all, he was pure white. First Praxis felt disappointed and sad. Then he began to feel angry, for he felt he'd been misled. Then, as he saw the white pixie glistening and radiant, he began to feel envious, for he himself had never been white.
Praxis worked hard at hiding his colours, but he was so confused and bewildered that all the colours began to peep through, however hard he tried to conceal them. Just at that moment, the wise old pixie turned towards the shadows where Praxis was hiding.
"Why," he said, "what have we here? A rainbow? Come out, little pixie."
Praxis crawled out, and looked down at himself. To his horror, he discovered he wasn't just one colour, but was every colour of the rainbow. There were little circles of green, and a great splodge of yellow, large rectangles of blue with dark grey stripes, and a background of red.
"What's happened?" he cried tearfully. "Who am I? Why do I look like this?"
The old pixie smiled at him very gently, and Praxis saw love in the old pixie's eyes. "Once, I was just like you," began the old pixie. "Everybody knew what I was feeling because of my colours, and just like you, I tried to hide my true feelings. But I grew increasingly unhappy and more and more angry, so I stopped doing that. I decided instead, to work at becoming truly myself."
"Didn't that hurt?" asked Praxis.
The old pixie nodded. "Of course it did, sometimes. Becoming really yourself is a painful process. But having colours is a gift from God. Pixies who have colours are much nearer to becoming their true selves than pixies without colours."
Praxis frowned, trying to understand. "You mean - I'm kind of special?"
"Very special! And do you know, when I'm really myself, my colours all blend to become this brilliant white light you see today."
"Do you mean, you're not always white? Sometimes you're red or blue or yellow?"
The old pixie laughed. "I certainly am! But I've learned to accept myself, even when I'm coloured. And when I'm white, people who come to speak with me are healed, bevause I'm really myself with nothing to hide my true feelings. One day, you'll be a great healer too, Praxis."
And Praxis knew he was right. Suddenly he knew he must spend the rest of his life trying not to be less himself, but more himself. Praxis went away from the wise old pixie, so happy he was bright, shocking pink for three whole days.
From time to time, Praxis would change colour. Once, when he was sitting alone under a tree feeling rather sad, he noticed he'd turned bright blue. And on another occasion, when one of his pixie friends proudly displayed a new miniature pixie computer in the shape of a daisy, Praxis turned a delicate shade of green. And, when feeling very jealous of his brother who had won a pixie race, Praxis had suddenly become a brilliant and shining yellow.
Most of the time, because he was a happy and healthy pixie, Praxis was the usual shade of pink, albeit a little brighter than most other pixies. He didn't mind that, but it was very uncomfortable when everybody knew exactly what he was feeling because of the colour of his pixie skin. Although sometimes, other pixies were sympathetic, and that was rather nice.
When Praxis was blue, they generally gathered round and did their best to cheer him up. And everybody clapped and shouted and felt much better when he gradually turned pink again. But sometimes, they kept their distance. When he was blazing red, no-one would go near him, for his temper was famous and they knew he was angry. And even when the red died away and changed to a dull, dark grey, they were timid about approaching him, for they all knew how miserable he'd be.
Praxis thought it was very unfair. He never knew what other pixies were thinking or feeling, unless they told him. But the whole world could see how he was, just by looking at him. Sometimes Praxis felt uncomfortable with the others, as though perhaps they were hiding their real feelings. When that happened Praxis felt confused. He didn't know quite where he was with them, and he didn't know what to say or what to do. But he thought it was a very useful ability, and he wished he could hide himself, too.
Praxis wondered whether he could pretend. Perhaps if he tried very hard to think and feel something different, he would be able to control his colour. The very next time he felt sad, he pretended to himself that he was happy. And to his delight, the blue colour began to fade, and was gradually replaced by pink. Praxis was so happy about his achievement, the pink grew brighter and brighter until he glowed in the dark.
When he was alone, Praxis started to work hard at controlling his colour. He learned to change pink to red by pretending to be angry. He learned to change green to pink, by pretending he didn't mind at all what exciting possessions other pixies had. He learned to change yellow to blue by pretending he wasn't really jealous, only sad.
It worked! Even though other pixies could see his colour, now they only saw the colours Praxis allowed them to see.
But after a while, Praxis began to notice he had to work harder and harder at controlling his colour. For some reason he felt sad much more often, and it was tough trying to hide all that blue. The same thing happened with the red. He discovered he was feeling angry much more often, and it wasn't easy hiding his anger. He still only felt jealous or envious occasionally, but the depth of his feelings was so great the colour was always very vivid. His delicate, pale shades seemed to have disappeared.
One day the pixie community had a visitor. A very old, very wise pixie from far away came to stay in the King's toadstool for a few days. Everyone wanted to see the wise old pixie, because they'd heard he was a healer. Pixies who were poorly might get better simply being in his presence. And strangest of all, they whispered to each other that the wise pixie had a colour.
Praxis was astonished, and very curious. He'd thought he was the only pixie in the whole world to have colours. Now, there was someone else! But try as he might, he couldn't discover the wise pixie's colour. Nobody seemed to know. It was probably, thought Praxis, because the wise pixie changed colours just like he did.
Praxis resolved to see for himself. Although he wasn't ill, and therefore had no right to visit the wise old pixie, he decided to creep in at the back door of the toadstool and hide in the shadows. But he was very disappointed, for when the wise old pixie came in view, Praxis saw he had no colour at all, he was pure white. First Praxis felt disappointed and sad. Then he began to feel angry, for he felt he'd been misled. Then, as he saw the white pixie glistening and radiant, he began to feel envious, for he himself had never been white.
Praxis worked hard at hiding his colours, but he was so confused and bewildered that all the colours began to peep through, however hard he tried to conceal them. Just at that moment, the wise old pixie turned towards the shadows where Praxis was hiding.
"Why," he said, "what have we here? A rainbow? Come out, little pixie."
Praxis crawled out, and looked down at himself. To his horror, he discovered he wasn't just one colour, but was every colour of the rainbow. There were little circles of green, and a great splodge of yellow, large rectangles of blue with dark grey stripes, and a background of red.
"What's happened?" he cried tearfully. "Who am I? Why do I look like this?"
The old pixie smiled at him very gently, and Praxis saw love in the old pixie's eyes. "Once, I was just like you," began the old pixie. "Everybody knew what I was feeling because of my colours, and just like you, I tried to hide my true feelings. But I grew increasingly unhappy and more and more angry, so I stopped doing that. I decided instead, to work at becoming truly myself."
"Didn't that hurt?" asked Praxis.
The old pixie nodded. "Of course it did, sometimes. Becoming really yourself is a painful process. But having colours is a gift from God. Pixies who have colours are much nearer to becoming their true selves than pixies without colours."
Praxis frowned, trying to understand. "You mean - I'm kind of special?"
"Very special! And do you know, when I'm really myself, my colours all blend to become this brilliant white light you see today."
"Do you mean, you're not always white? Sometimes you're red or blue or yellow?"
The old pixie laughed. "I certainly am! But I've learned to accept myself, even when I'm coloured. And when I'm white, people who come to speak with me are healed, bevause I'm really myself with nothing to hide my true feelings. One day, you'll be a great healer too, Praxis."
And Praxis knew he was right. Suddenly he knew he must spend the rest of his life trying not to be less himself, but more himself. Praxis went away from the wise old pixie, so happy he was bright, shocking pink for three whole days.
