What Is Love?
Sermon
John Humphrys, the radio and television journalist of forty years' experience, has written a book, "Devil's Advocate", in which he analyses the problems we face in our society today. He looks at the all-powerful media, the endless diet of dumbed-down television, the growth of vast shopping malls promising instant gratification, the crisis in our ideas of how to bring up children, and so on. And as he diagnoses our ills, he issues a challenge - if we aren't happy with society, what are we going to do about it?
Yet most of these so-called "problems" were at one point thought to be solutions to the problems of the age!
Years ago, there used to be considerable poverty in quite ordinary areas of our country. It was common to see children walking to school in the depths of winter wearing only a thin cardigan or pullover and with plimsolls on their feet. And before that, back in the last century, some children had no shoes or socks at all.
Although undoubtedly there is still severe poverty in some areas, thanks to the benefits system nowadays all children have reasonable shoes and warm clothes.
Over the last 50 years or so our social services have been very active, preventing at least the worst kinds of poverty. Back in the Sixties this activity of the social services in eradicating extreme poverty was thought to be that which was needed to save our country.
Desperate people living in desperate conditions turn to crime, and the argument was that if conditions were improved, crime would diminish. And so it became imperative to raise the standards of living. Improvement in living standards - better shopping facilities, television for some relaxation and leisure, a gentler approach to children - was the magic that would put right all the ills of society.
But as John Humphrys has pointed out and as we all know, it hasn't worked out quite like that. Far from diminishing, crime has drastically increased. And not only has it increased, but it's become even more horrible. For instance, years ago elderly people were safe by virtue of their age and frailty. Not even the worst kind of criminal would attack an elderly person. That is no longer true.
And children were safe in schools the world over. Now, in some parts of the world, not least our own Dunblane, children have been shot and killed in their own classrooms, and sometimes by their own classmates.
Better living conditions and an easier way of life have not only failed to solve society's problems, but have become problems in themselves.
Deprivation may still be the root cause of much of the world's evil, but it's no longer the deprivation caused by lack of money. It's something much more sinister. I think it's the deprivation caused by lack of love, because instead of love our society has substituted material benefits and a gentler approach.
At Jesus' trial, Pilate asked that famous question, "What is truth?" But he might equally have asked, "What is love?"
Perhaps it's easier to look at what love isn't, before trying to decide what it is. The experience of a new breed of extremely difficult and out-of-control children in our schools, with no respect for any kind of authority, surely demonstrates that love isn't synonymous with indulgence or with opting out of discipline.
Neither is it synonymous with material gifts. There are many families where the children are showered with expensive gifts, but where they're not taught anything about boundaries. Or worse, where they're never given any personal attention.
In a very high proportion of today's families, love only seems to refer to the physical attraction felt between adults. And if that physical attraction should be suddenly experienced outside the family unit, then the adults simply pair up with a different partner and the children are expected to cope as best they can. But physical attraction is not synonymous with love.
"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" asked one of the Pharisees. Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbour as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
But actually, it's more than just the law and the prophets hanging on those two commandments, it's the whole of life. If only we properly understood love and were able to put it into action, then perhaps our society would blossom in every way for we really would be experiencing the kingdom of heaven.
Love is tough. Far from being over indulgent, it sometimes requires strong words and strict discipline for the sake of the loved one. Those who really love are prepared to take that risk.
Love is honest. It takes another risk, the risk of saying what it actually thinks despite the fact that its words may cause hurt, especially to pride. "Get behind me, Satan," Jesus once said to his best friend, Peter. But he said it in love, and Peter eventually became the head of the Church.
Love sticks around. It doesn't disappear at the first sign of trouble, but stays there facing any manner of pain. Jesus loved so much that he allowed evil people to crucify him. He could have turned tail and fled away from trouble, but he stuck it out to the end.
Love is forgiving. It doesn't pass on gossip, or pay any attention to unpleasant rumours. And it doesn't nurture a sense of grievance, constantly feeding that grievance to make it grow, but freely and fully forgives.
Love is unselfish. But it's not a doormat allowing other people to walk all over it. Those who are really unselfish must first know and love themselves. "Love your neighbour as yourself," Jesus said, not "love your neighbour more than yourself."
Love is a very difficult and tough commodity, and is much more than a mere feeling. For us human beings it's well-nigh impossible to really love, unless we follow the first commandment to love God with the whole of our being. For God loves each of us with a deep and pure and perfect love, a love which can develop within us the more we learn to relate to him.
I want to finish with St Paul's summary of love in his first letter to the Corinthians, because if we all loved like this our society would become a paradise and John Humphrys would have no need to write books:
Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a)
Yet most of these so-called "problems" were at one point thought to be solutions to the problems of the age!
Years ago, there used to be considerable poverty in quite ordinary areas of our country. It was common to see children walking to school in the depths of winter wearing only a thin cardigan or pullover and with plimsolls on their feet. And before that, back in the last century, some children had no shoes or socks at all.
Although undoubtedly there is still severe poverty in some areas, thanks to the benefits system nowadays all children have reasonable shoes and warm clothes.
Over the last 50 years or so our social services have been very active, preventing at least the worst kinds of poverty. Back in the Sixties this activity of the social services in eradicating extreme poverty was thought to be that which was needed to save our country.
Desperate people living in desperate conditions turn to crime, and the argument was that if conditions were improved, crime would diminish. And so it became imperative to raise the standards of living. Improvement in living standards - better shopping facilities, television for some relaxation and leisure, a gentler approach to children - was the magic that would put right all the ills of society.
But as John Humphrys has pointed out and as we all know, it hasn't worked out quite like that. Far from diminishing, crime has drastically increased. And not only has it increased, but it's become even more horrible. For instance, years ago elderly people were safe by virtue of their age and frailty. Not even the worst kind of criminal would attack an elderly person. That is no longer true.
And children were safe in schools the world over. Now, in some parts of the world, not least our own Dunblane, children have been shot and killed in their own classrooms, and sometimes by their own classmates.
Better living conditions and an easier way of life have not only failed to solve society's problems, but have become problems in themselves.
Deprivation may still be the root cause of much of the world's evil, but it's no longer the deprivation caused by lack of money. It's something much more sinister. I think it's the deprivation caused by lack of love, because instead of love our society has substituted material benefits and a gentler approach.
At Jesus' trial, Pilate asked that famous question, "What is truth?" But he might equally have asked, "What is love?"
Perhaps it's easier to look at what love isn't, before trying to decide what it is. The experience of a new breed of extremely difficult and out-of-control children in our schools, with no respect for any kind of authority, surely demonstrates that love isn't synonymous with indulgence or with opting out of discipline.
Neither is it synonymous with material gifts. There are many families where the children are showered with expensive gifts, but where they're not taught anything about boundaries. Or worse, where they're never given any personal attention.
In a very high proportion of today's families, love only seems to refer to the physical attraction felt between adults. And if that physical attraction should be suddenly experienced outside the family unit, then the adults simply pair up with a different partner and the children are expected to cope as best they can. But physical attraction is not synonymous with love.
"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" asked one of the Pharisees. Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbour as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."
But actually, it's more than just the law and the prophets hanging on those two commandments, it's the whole of life. If only we properly understood love and were able to put it into action, then perhaps our society would blossom in every way for we really would be experiencing the kingdom of heaven.
Love is tough. Far from being over indulgent, it sometimes requires strong words and strict discipline for the sake of the loved one. Those who really love are prepared to take that risk.
Love is honest. It takes another risk, the risk of saying what it actually thinks despite the fact that its words may cause hurt, especially to pride. "Get behind me, Satan," Jesus once said to his best friend, Peter. But he said it in love, and Peter eventually became the head of the Church.
Love sticks around. It doesn't disappear at the first sign of trouble, but stays there facing any manner of pain. Jesus loved so much that he allowed evil people to crucify him. He could have turned tail and fled away from trouble, but he stuck it out to the end.
Love is forgiving. It doesn't pass on gossip, or pay any attention to unpleasant rumours. And it doesn't nurture a sense of grievance, constantly feeding that grievance to make it grow, but freely and fully forgives.
Love is unselfish. But it's not a doormat allowing other people to walk all over it. Those who are really unselfish must first know and love themselves. "Love your neighbour as yourself," Jesus said, not "love your neighbour more than yourself."
Love is a very difficult and tough commodity, and is much more than a mere feeling. For us human beings it's well-nigh impossible to really love, unless we follow the first commandment to love God with the whole of our being. For God loves each of us with a deep and pure and perfect love, a love which can develop within us the more we learn to relate to him.
I want to finish with St Paul's summary of love in his first letter to the Corinthians, because if we all loved like this our society would become a paradise and John Humphrys would have no need to write books:
Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a)
