The Critic's Choice
Sermon
Life Injections II
Further Connections Of Scripture To The Human Experience
"I have heard the grumbling of the Israelites ..."
Some thoughts to ponder should complaints or criticism come your way.
The humorous story is told of an Italian monk who went to the monastery at Montserrat, Spain. One of the requirements at Montserrat was perpetual silence. The monks were only allowed to speak after two years and then they were permitted to say only two words. After two more years went by, they were allowed to say two more words and so on: two years, two words. When the first two years had passed, the new monk was called before his superior to make his first two-word statement. The monk's first two words were: "Bed hard." Two more years passed and his next set of two words was: "Food bad." After another two years went by, the monk appeared before his superior and said: "I quit." The superior looked at him and replied: "That doesn't surprise me at all. All you've done since you've been here is complain and criticize."
I mention that humorous story because I want to talk with you today about complaining and criticizing. Rare is the life that has not been on its receiving end, and more than a few could honestly say that they can't remember when there wasn't someone complaining about or criticizing what they happen to be doing. That being so, I thought I would offer you some thoughts to ponder should complaints and criticism come your way.
First of all, you have to understand that it comes with the territory called life. Every role we assume in life will find us experiencing criticism and hearing complaints. Let's take for starters the role of a parent. The most difficult lesson for every parent to learn is that parenting is not a popularity contest. Criticism from one's child is inevitable if you're going to be a parent.
A friend of mine told me that when children enter into adolescence, between the years twelve to seventeen, it's like they go into a cave. He described it as the cave years. They go down into this cave away from their parents because they've come to believe that their parents can't do anything right. He said that the only way to handle them is to throw a little meat into the cave and close the door.
I love the advertisement that went: "A set of encyclopedias for sale. Never used. Teenage son knows everything." I believe that every parent has to understand that the teenage years are often the years when the child is dealing with a lot of changes. Part of those changes involve rebellion, and rebellion translates into criticism. The parent needs to roll with the punches as the teenager needs to roll with the changes.
No matter what position or role you hold in life, be it parent or doctor or nurse or whatever, you're going to find a lot of people behaving like teenagers. A lot will give you the impression that you can't do anything right. What you have to realize is that complaining and criticism come with the territory that we call life.
The second thing you need to realize is that there are an awful lot of people who love to criticize, who love to call attention to imperfections.
I read recently of something John Keats, the famous poet, once did. He wrote a poem in which he referenced Cortez and not Balboa as the discoverer of the Pacific Ocean. There were three schools of thought as to why he did it. The first was that Keats did not know that Cortez did not discover the Pacific Ocean. The second asserted that he wrote Cortez because he needed a two-syllable word instead of three. The third maintained, and it proved to be true, that Keats wanted to know if anyone read his poetry. He believed that if they did, he'd be barraged with all kinds of letters telling him what an ignoramus he was not to know that Balboa and not Cortez discovered the Pacific Ocean. Many letters did indeed come and so Keats knew that people read his poetry.
There are an awful lot of people who have seemed to make it their life's work to notice and see and call attention to every little thing that might not be perfect. They seem to get a lot of satisfaction out of letting us know when we made a mistake or when we didn't do something the way it's supposed to be done. They seem to have forgotten, or they don't wish to face, the reality that perfection is something reserved for God.
So first, complaining and criticizing comes with the territory called life. Second, complaining and criticizing springs eternal from those who can't reconcile the fact that we live in an imperfect world. And third, complaining and criticizing have followed the work of some of the greatest achievers in all of history.
Two of history's greatest poets -- Walt Whitman and Robert Frost -- were both criticized for what they wrote. One reviewer of The London Critic stated confidently: "Whitman is as adequate with the art of poetry as a hog is with mathematics." The poetry editor of The Atlantic Monthly told a 28-year-old Frost that his magazine had no room for poor poets. In 1889 Rudyard Kipling received the following letter from The San Francisco Examiner: "I'm sorry, Mr. Kipling, but you just don't know how to use the English language." At age seventeen, Wayne Gretzky was told by someone in authority that he would not be able to survive in a hockey rink.
Eric Segal wrote the book called Love Story1. The book was made into a movie. Almost with a single voice, the critics condemned both the movie and the novel. The book was one of the largest selling books ever written and the movie was a box office smash. Albert Einstein once stated: "The great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds."
As much as critics and complainers have much to tell us about the things that we create and the work that we do, they are not the last word and they are not the only word. As evidenced by Whitman and Frost and Kipling and Gretzky, they're often far from right when it comes to the assessment of talent. You can rest assured that no matter how great are the things that we do, a good number of complaints and criticism will inevitably follow.
The fourth thing to consider when complaints and criticism come our way is that we're often absorbing what is really not meant for us. Years ago, Hall of Fame coach Don Shula was vacationing in Maine with his wife and five children. On a rainy afternoon they went into the town's only theater. Walking in, they encountered only six people, every one of whom stood up to applaud the Shulas. Don and his family sat down and a man ran up and shook Don's hand. "How did you recognize me?" Don asked. "Mister," the man said, "I don't know who you are. All I know is that, just before your family walked in, the manager said that unless five more people show up we weren't going to see the movie."
Just as that applause was not meant for Don Shula personally, so can complaints and criticisms be not meant for us personally. There are people always angry and critical at the male species in general. There are people always angry and critical at the female species in general. There are people angry and critical at priests in general. There are people angry and critical at doctors in general. It could well be that, when you're getting an earful of criticism, it's not you personally whom they're critical of, it's whom or what you happen to represent.
I sat on the Board of Directors of the Credit Union of Sisters Hospital for many years. Anyone who is familiar with credit unions knows that each year an examiner comes and goes over the books and operation to make sure that everything is on the up-and-up. We had an examiner one year who was unbelievably critical of everything we did. It looked as though we could do nothing right. We sat there and he lambasted us for many of our actions and procedures. We knew that we ran a good ship and so we couldn't believe the kind of hammering we were receiving.
That examiner never did finish the report. He was replaced two weeks later and we were told that he would not be coming back. He had been admitted to Buffalo General Hospital's Hospice Unit. What we hadn't known was that the man was a cancer patient trying to hold onto his job as long as he could. The criticism and the lambasting that we received were not really directed at us as a credit union; it was merely a by-product of the misery and pain and suffering that he had been experiencing with his cancer. Critics and complainers are often venting their own personal anguish. As much as they might be dumping on us, it's not us that's the problem -- it's them.
The fifth thing to consider should complaints and criticisms come our way is that no statue was ever erected to honor a critic. Statues are for the criticized.
The most noble and notable of human beings, one of the great humanitarians of all time, was Dr. Albert Schweitzer. Shortly after he arrived in Africa, where he began to build hospitals and care for the sick, he was told by a colleague that there were people back in his hometown who wished to convey some criticism about the way he was proceeding. Dr. Schweitzer had a great retort. He said to his colleague: "You tell my critics that I like my way of doing things better than their way of not doing things."
It always seems to be true that those who do the biggest amount of complaining and criticizing are usually those sitting on their duffs while everyone else is giving of his or her time and talents. And there are always those who out of jealousy complain and criticize in the hopes that their remarks will take some shine off the fine and wonderful work of a colleague whose popularity they resent.
The sixth and last thing to consider when complaints and criticisms come our way is that maybe we deserve it and maybe we ought to pay attention to what's being said. Dr. Norman Vincent Peale once wrote: "The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism." How true that is and how often has it happened when we figured that our friends were the ones who were right and our critics were the ones who were wrong. We didn't want to admit that our friends were telling us what we wanted to hear while our critics were telling us what we needed to hear. We just couldn't face that truth.
Moses, in our first reading, is on the receiving end of a tremendous amount of complaining and criticizing. Despite his leading them out of slavery, people were finding fault with his actions. It seemed he was doing nothing right. Jesus would undergo a similar experience with those whom he specifically came to save. They did nothing but bombard him with complaints and criticisms, directing more than a few towards the good things he was doing.
The next time you're hit with complaints and criticisms, first remember that you're not only rubbing shoulders with Frost and Walt Whitman but you are also rubbing shoulders with Moses and you're even rubbing shoulders with Jesus. Second, remember that it comes with the territory called life. Third, remember that there are a lot of people who love to pick on our imperfections. Fourth, remember it could be that you're not the target. Fifth, remember they've never built a statue to a critic. Sixth, remember what you're hearing could very well be a truth your loved ones were reluctant to tell. And lastly, be grateful that you're on the receiving end and not the giving end of complaints and criticism. It's a much greater and far more honorable and a far more prestigious place to be.
____________
1. Eric Segal, Love Story (New York: Harper & Row, 1970).
Some thoughts to ponder should complaints or criticism come your way.
The humorous story is told of an Italian monk who went to the monastery at Montserrat, Spain. One of the requirements at Montserrat was perpetual silence. The monks were only allowed to speak after two years and then they were permitted to say only two words. After two more years went by, they were allowed to say two more words and so on: two years, two words. When the first two years had passed, the new monk was called before his superior to make his first two-word statement. The monk's first two words were: "Bed hard." Two more years passed and his next set of two words was: "Food bad." After another two years went by, the monk appeared before his superior and said: "I quit." The superior looked at him and replied: "That doesn't surprise me at all. All you've done since you've been here is complain and criticize."
I mention that humorous story because I want to talk with you today about complaining and criticizing. Rare is the life that has not been on its receiving end, and more than a few could honestly say that they can't remember when there wasn't someone complaining about or criticizing what they happen to be doing. That being so, I thought I would offer you some thoughts to ponder should complaints and criticism come your way.
First of all, you have to understand that it comes with the territory called life. Every role we assume in life will find us experiencing criticism and hearing complaints. Let's take for starters the role of a parent. The most difficult lesson for every parent to learn is that parenting is not a popularity contest. Criticism from one's child is inevitable if you're going to be a parent.
A friend of mine told me that when children enter into adolescence, between the years twelve to seventeen, it's like they go into a cave. He described it as the cave years. They go down into this cave away from their parents because they've come to believe that their parents can't do anything right. He said that the only way to handle them is to throw a little meat into the cave and close the door.
I love the advertisement that went: "A set of encyclopedias for sale. Never used. Teenage son knows everything." I believe that every parent has to understand that the teenage years are often the years when the child is dealing with a lot of changes. Part of those changes involve rebellion, and rebellion translates into criticism. The parent needs to roll with the punches as the teenager needs to roll with the changes.
No matter what position or role you hold in life, be it parent or doctor or nurse or whatever, you're going to find a lot of people behaving like teenagers. A lot will give you the impression that you can't do anything right. What you have to realize is that complaining and criticism come with the territory that we call life.
The second thing you need to realize is that there are an awful lot of people who love to criticize, who love to call attention to imperfections.
I read recently of something John Keats, the famous poet, once did. He wrote a poem in which he referenced Cortez and not Balboa as the discoverer of the Pacific Ocean. There were three schools of thought as to why he did it. The first was that Keats did not know that Cortez did not discover the Pacific Ocean. The second asserted that he wrote Cortez because he needed a two-syllable word instead of three. The third maintained, and it proved to be true, that Keats wanted to know if anyone read his poetry. He believed that if they did, he'd be barraged with all kinds of letters telling him what an ignoramus he was not to know that Balboa and not Cortez discovered the Pacific Ocean. Many letters did indeed come and so Keats knew that people read his poetry.
There are an awful lot of people who have seemed to make it their life's work to notice and see and call attention to every little thing that might not be perfect. They seem to get a lot of satisfaction out of letting us know when we made a mistake or when we didn't do something the way it's supposed to be done. They seem to have forgotten, or they don't wish to face, the reality that perfection is something reserved for God.
So first, complaining and criticizing comes with the territory called life. Second, complaining and criticizing springs eternal from those who can't reconcile the fact that we live in an imperfect world. And third, complaining and criticizing have followed the work of some of the greatest achievers in all of history.
Two of history's greatest poets -- Walt Whitman and Robert Frost -- were both criticized for what they wrote. One reviewer of The London Critic stated confidently: "Whitman is as adequate with the art of poetry as a hog is with mathematics." The poetry editor of The Atlantic Monthly told a 28-year-old Frost that his magazine had no room for poor poets. In 1889 Rudyard Kipling received the following letter from The San Francisco Examiner: "I'm sorry, Mr. Kipling, but you just don't know how to use the English language." At age seventeen, Wayne Gretzky was told by someone in authority that he would not be able to survive in a hockey rink.
Eric Segal wrote the book called Love Story1. The book was made into a movie. Almost with a single voice, the critics condemned both the movie and the novel. The book was one of the largest selling books ever written and the movie was a box office smash. Albert Einstein once stated: "The great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds."
As much as critics and complainers have much to tell us about the things that we create and the work that we do, they are not the last word and they are not the only word. As evidenced by Whitman and Frost and Kipling and Gretzky, they're often far from right when it comes to the assessment of talent. You can rest assured that no matter how great are the things that we do, a good number of complaints and criticism will inevitably follow.
The fourth thing to consider when complaints and criticism come our way is that we're often absorbing what is really not meant for us. Years ago, Hall of Fame coach Don Shula was vacationing in Maine with his wife and five children. On a rainy afternoon they went into the town's only theater. Walking in, they encountered only six people, every one of whom stood up to applaud the Shulas. Don and his family sat down and a man ran up and shook Don's hand. "How did you recognize me?" Don asked. "Mister," the man said, "I don't know who you are. All I know is that, just before your family walked in, the manager said that unless five more people show up we weren't going to see the movie."
Just as that applause was not meant for Don Shula personally, so can complaints and criticisms be not meant for us personally. There are people always angry and critical at the male species in general. There are people always angry and critical at the female species in general. There are people angry and critical at priests in general. There are people angry and critical at doctors in general. It could well be that, when you're getting an earful of criticism, it's not you personally whom they're critical of, it's whom or what you happen to represent.
I sat on the Board of Directors of the Credit Union of Sisters Hospital for many years. Anyone who is familiar with credit unions knows that each year an examiner comes and goes over the books and operation to make sure that everything is on the up-and-up. We had an examiner one year who was unbelievably critical of everything we did. It looked as though we could do nothing right. We sat there and he lambasted us for many of our actions and procedures. We knew that we ran a good ship and so we couldn't believe the kind of hammering we were receiving.
That examiner never did finish the report. He was replaced two weeks later and we were told that he would not be coming back. He had been admitted to Buffalo General Hospital's Hospice Unit. What we hadn't known was that the man was a cancer patient trying to hold onto his job as long as he could. The criticism and the lambasting that we received were not really directed at us as a credit union; it was merely a by-product of the misery and pain and suffering that he had been experiencing with his cancer. Critics and complainers are often venting their own personal anguish. As much as they might be dumping on us, it's not us that's the problem -- it's them.
The fifth thing to consider should complaints and criticisms come our way is that no statue was ever erected to honor a critic. Statues are for the criticized.
The most noble and notable of human beings, one of the great humanitarians of all time, was Dr. Albert Schweitzer. Shortly after he arrived in Africa, where he began to build hospitals and care for the sick, he was told by a colleague that there were people back in his hometown who wished to convey some criticism about the way he was proceeding. Dr. Schweitzer had a great retort. He said to his colleague: "You tell my critics that I like my way of doing things better than their way of not doing things."
It always seems to be true that those who do the biggest amount of complaining and criticizing are usually those sitting on their duffs while everyone else is giving of his or her time and talents. And there are always those who out of jealousy complain and criticize in the hopes that their remarks will take some shine off the fine and wonderful work of a colleague whose popularity they resent.
The sixth and last thing to consider when complaints and criticisms come our way is that maybe we deserve it and maybe we ought to pay attention to what's being said. Dr. Norman Vincent Peale once wrote: "The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism." How true that is and how often has it happened when we figured that our friends were the ones who were right and our critics were the ones who were wrong. We didn't want to admit that our friends were telling us what we wanted to hear while our critics were telling us what we needed to hear. We just couldn't face that truth.
Moses, in our first reading, is on the receiving end of a tremendous amount of complaining and criticizing. Despite his leading them out of slavery, people were finding fault with his actions. It seemed he was doing nothing right. Jesus would undergo a similar experience with those whom he specifically came to save. They did nothing but bombard him with complaints and criticisms, directing more than a few towards the good things he was doing.
The next time you're hit with complaints and criticisms, first remember that you're not only rubbing shoulders with Frost and Walt Whitman but you are also rubbing shoulders with Moses and you're even rubbing shoulders with Jesus. Second, remember that it comes with the territory called life. Third, remember that there are a lot of people who love to pick on our imperfections. Fourth, remember it could be that you're not the target. Fifth, remember they've never built a statue to a critic. Sixth, remember what you're hearing could very well be a truth your loved ones were reluctant to tell. And lastly, be grateful that you're on the receiving end and not the giving end of complaints and criticism. It's a much greater and far more honorable and a far more prestigious place to be.
____________
1. Eric Segal, Love Story (New York: Harper & Row, 1970).
