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Melinda's heart ached. Her seventeen-year-old daughter had just gotten her nose pierced. Marcy wasn't even old enough to go to college, yet she was old enough to choose to have her nose pierced. What was to become of her? Melinda hoped this didn't signal a downward spiral to Marcy's future.

Melinda and Dan faced a big decision. Should they be honest and share their disappointment, and then end up seeing what other parts of Marcy's body she could pierce? Would people be quick to judge her? Or, worse yet, would people not be able to believe she was a "good Christian girl"? Should they confront her? Or should they choose their battles, and succinctly state that they were disappointed, and leave it at that?

They took the easy way out — and said nothing. When Marcy came to the dinner table that night, her little brother told her she looked silly with her red nose and matching red stone. "The swelling will go down, you goofball." She looked at her parents, but Melinda and Dan didn't say anything. They just glanced at her nose and then went on with their conversation. They were trying to decide which colleges they could visit with Marcy the following month. What did Marcy want, they asked her. School was out for three days, and Dan and Melinda wanted to make the most of it.

Marcy had good grades, pulling a solid B average, and was offered several small scholarships. They had narrowed the choice to three each: Melinda's three college choices, Dan's three, and Marcy's three. They weren't allowed to show each other their choices until later. Each had written down 25 strengths that Marcy had, then they would compare them with each school's academic strengths. Dan secretly wished Marcy would go to his old school: Central Lutheran. Melinda had gone there one year and then went off to graduate at State University. They had been quick to exclude any school focusing on the sciences, Marcy's least favorite subjects. Whatever the college, they hoped Marcy would love it and have a positive experience.

They had rented a fancy hotel suite for the weekend, and the family lounged around and talked about Marcy's goals in life, and they divulged their choices to each other. Melinda was a little anxious; Dan was very anxious. Marcy seemed to enjoy the excitement.

Two college names came up: Northwestern and State College. Not exactly Dan and Melinda's first choices, but they had also considered the schools for their strong liberal arts backgrounds. They prayed about it as a family and told Marcy they would discuss it and pray about it for an entire month and then let Marcy decide. Marcy ended up going to Northwestern.

Dan and Melinda were nervous wrecks that first week of college. They were constantly calling Marcy only to hang up the phone before it rang. They didn't want to be so obvious. They missed her terribly and stuck to the promised Wednesday and Sunday calls.

They were ecstatic when Marcy's first holiday break allowed her to be home for three weeks. They noticed she had an earring on her upper right earlobe. They didn't say anything. They wanted this to be a positive homecoming. They were so happy to hear about her experiences: it was so much richer than hearing it over the phone!

Marcy's college experience was positive: she met wonderful friends. She also made a deeper commitment to God. One night, she waited until her little brother was in bed before she called her parents into her bedroom to share her story. She was excited!

In a Bible study in the dorm one afternoon soon after college started, Marcy shared her frustration about being a "good Christian girl." A young man challenged her. He was a senior and he was a little brash. He told her being from a strong Christian family didn't qualify her as being a "good Christian girl". He wanted to know just what she meant by that anyway. Did that mean she was good at being Christian? Or was Marcy good because she was a Christian? What did she do to show her faith anyway?

Marcy was insulted and taken aback by the boy's frankness. The group had a good discussion, some siding with Marcy, some egging the boy on. In the end the boy shared that he was from a "good Christian home," too, but it wasn't until he was challenged to show good Christian actions that he felt called to have a closer relationship with Christ. It was the turning point he needed in his life. He went on to give his testimony of faith. One night in his freshman year, the boy was praying as he always did: a little quickly, a little distractedly, when he felt he needed to pray really in earnest. He asked God sincerely for direction in his life, and over the course of that week he got an answer: he wanted to teach anyway, but now his direction was for children in urban, secular schools where they needed a good role model. He shared that that conviction lead him to change his focus of study and lifestyle, and he became a minimalist, one who lives with as few possessions as possible in order to give generously to others.

"And you think," Marcy asked, "that just by teaching poor kids that you are going to be a better Christian?" Marcy couldn't believe his arrogance! "No," the boy said. "I believe that if I go back to my neighborhood, the kids — who know me already — will listen to me and will understand that if I can get out of such a poor neighborhood, they can too. I can share my struggles with them both with school and with having to resist gangs and drugs every day. And I can give them hope to be somebody. I didn't think I'd live to be fourteen. And then when I did, I thought I wouldn't make it to sixteen. I figured I would have been shot by then for resisting gangs or maybe I would be slipped some dangerous drugs. But with God's help, I was able to avoid it, and I went to school. I played my music, got a good scholarship, and did my best in school. If I can do it, they surely can do it! They just need God's direction like I needed it in my freshman year."

Wow! What a speech. The group was touched by his bravery in sharing his story. Marcy was eternally sorry that she thought he was arrogant. He just didn't "look" like a poor kid. "I'm very sorry," she mumbled.

"Ah, but looks are deceiving, aren't they?" he said. He lifted up his shirt sleeve to reveal an ugly tattoo of a dragon sucking on a skull. It went all the way up his arm. He lifted up his pant leg to reveal a tiger tattooed around his leg, eating what looked like a dead body. "I can never swim again without being hastily judged by these two creatures on my body. But what's inside of me — in my very being — is harder to guess. I like to call it a pleasant surprise."

Marcy was breathless when she shared this with her parents. "Wow! Can you believe it?" She kissed them both and went to bed, leaving them speechless. It was only the first of many times she shared with them what she was experiencing at college.

Marcy graduated with a degree in art history and works as a manager in a small art gallery. Her husband is a very successful diesel-engine mechanic. They have small twin boys. They are secure in their careers, and they are secure in their dedication to their faith, teaching Bible school and new adult Christians. They are also minimalists who give fifty percent of their earnings to a mission church. Because of their faith and generosity, two churches have been started from their home church. And because of their faith and generosity in sharing their life journeys, many, many people have come to know Christ in a personal way. They don't think they are better than anyone. They don't brag or belittle anyone. They simply share their faith journey.

And the boy with the tattoos? Well, Marcy still teases her husband's brother for being so forward that day, but that night led her to a closer relationship with Christ — and her future husband.