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In 1985, I was struggling deeply with a very painful friendship. I was also at a time in my life where I was being overloaded with the "Christ suffered on the cross, so it is the calling of all Christians to suffer like him" sentiment. I could not make the distinction between the "cost of discipleship" and healthy self-care and self-love. Things in the friendship had come to a head for me one day. I was weeping and praying, saying, "God, I just can't do this any more!